Trevor gets home next week... and it has me reflecting on the past six weeks.
If you haven't noticed, I haven't been around much on the blog the last little bit. I am going to be honest. I have been having a hard time this past week.
You
see, neither Trevor or I are what I would consider "needy." While we enjoy being
together, we also appreciate our "me" time. Because of that, I would say
we did really great until about the four week mark. You can keep
yourself busy all you want, start projects, clean, yadda yadda...
But there is something sad about living in a place where you know there is supposed to be another person with you.
Separation is inevitable throughout our lives. We spend our youth trying to cling to our parents, while they try and teach us how to be on our own, how to be independent. All with the goal that we will eventually leave our home, and live on our own.
And we do. We start to build lives with other people, and start our own family. Sometimes I think back to my childhood and realize just how special that time was... me and my siblings all under one roof, together, loving and learning. It went by too fast.
Children grow into adults, and now I find myself sharing a life with another person. We are slowly, but surely, building our home and life together. Our little individual family. Trevor and I have never spent more then a few weeks apart since we met, so him being gone for about seven weeks has been an adjustment.
I consider myself a strong person, and I am not saying to be sad or vulnerable is weak, but I was surprised when the other day when Trevor called me, I just broke down crying. I had, had enough. I wanted him home now. The past week I have seen a side of myself that I didn't know existed. I just had no energy to do anything, just letting myself feeling sorry for myself and missing some companionship, and Trevor. Thankfully yesterday I snapped myself out of it... at least for now. I hope I can keep it up... but I wont lie, I am very excited Trevor will be coming home next week. I really can't take it much longer.
Separation in this life is inevitable. We will have to be apart from loved ones sometimes. It is just life. And we will all leave this earth and leave loved ones behind at some point.
Some say that distance makes the heart grow fonder. I am not sure I completely agree with that. I think it just makes you miss them terribly... haha. I think it can give you some perspective, make you realize what you really have and all that.
But for me, separation instead helps me learn and understand more about hope. Love and hope that we will see our loved ones soon, or even after death. That emotions like pain and suffering can be temporary. That the person who left the dent in the pillow will come back and fill it again. Hope.
I can't wait to have Trevor back.
I choose to hope all things.
♥ ♥ ♥
p.s. I will not being doing tid+bits this week, but will have a link up next week for sure!