disguised blessings...

 

 Sami Jo Photography

Sometimes I just have to sit back in awe of how life unfolds before me. I have always been a planner, and I like to have control when it comes to what will happen next in my life. Over the past several years I have had so many experiences where I realize I need to let things happen the way God wants them to happen for me.

While I believe God lets us make our own decisions, I also believe there are moments in our life where he is strongly guiding us, and if we have the right attitude and are open to the spirit, we will receive amazing blessings. Lately I can't help but think about the past year and the amazing blessings that have come to me, even though I didn't see them at the time.

I went to the University of Utah and got a BS in Social Science Teaching and a minor in History Teaching. I have always had a passion for history, and cultures, and have always wanted to share that with others, especially youth. I want to help young people think about their futures and the world around them, and help them decide what they love and believe in, what they care about. Teaching has always been something I want to do, and it still is.

Trevor applied to many different places for Law School, and we thought for a good period of time he would be attending school out of state. Because of this I graduated with my degree but did not finish my student teaching certification so I wouldn't loose any credits when starting at another school and I would just have my degree. There really was no point of starting a student teaching program in one state, just to have to pretty much start over in another in a year or so. But as life usually goes, the plan changed, and BYU Law School was where we were headed.

I looked into all the different ways I could do the program here in Utah and at the end of the day, the best plan was to still do it at the University of Utah. But we now lived in Provo, no big deal, an hour commute isn't so bad. Yet once we realized I wouldn't be able to work much while doing student teaching (if at all), and Trevor couldn't work while attending law school, that would mean no income, and continued student debt. Then my student loans from my Bachelor's degree got called in and I had a better idea of where we stood, and the whole idea of it financially didn't make a lot of sense.

I feel like deep down I had known for awhile it wasn't a good time to do it, but I stubbornly didn't want to believe that. I had my plan, and my plan was to be teaching and then to be working on my Masters. I remember perfectly one day while trying to figure out what to do I was driving in the car and I just started sobbing. My heart and brain and finally matched up and I just knew that it was not the right time. I didn't expect it to be such an emotional decision for me, but I just knew the right thing to do was to hold off on the Student Teaching and Masters Program and pursue some type of job.

At first I was a little bitter, giving up what I wanted to do so Trevor could pursue his Law degree. But deep down I knew it was the smartest decision at the time for me and our future family. Trevor was so loving and supportive of how I was feeling, and I really appreciated him just letting me figure it all out on my own. He didn't try telling me what to do, but let me come to the decision on my own, and in this situation that is exactly what I needed. He gave me the time I needed.

So after that emotional break down and then coming to a sense of peace about the decision, I started to apply my heart away for a ton of different jobs, and like most job hunting goes, it felt like I was getting nothing back.

To make a long story short, I landed an amazing job doing Paralegal work for an Attorney here in Provo. Over the past two years I have worked for him and he has been the most amazing boss, I look to him as a family member and he treats me the same as well. I have also learned so much about the legal world I would have never been able to learn without experiencing a job like this. I feel like I have gained a connection to Trevor's experience in Law School that we would have never had without this job. We can talk about what he is doing in school and I can understand and even contribute to the conversation! The experience, knowledge and friendships I have made through this job have been a true blessing.

The Paralegal work was part time, so I had to get something else to do so I could be working full time. I ended up getting a job as a part time Financial Aid Advisor. I almost couldn't believe that two schedules would match up so perfectly. I have been learning a whole new profession, I get to work with students which is something I love, and I have the best co-workers I could ask for! I am surrounded with a bunch of smart, powerful and driven people at my Financial Aid job, and I absolutely love the work environment and friendships I have made.

I just look back to that time in the car where I had my break down and realize now what God had in store for me. I have been able to experience totally different avenues in work experience that I would have never thought of doing that I love! I feel like it has made me more well rounded and it has definitely been a resume builder. I am able to support Trevor and me while he is in school, and I know that down the road I will be able teach, but until then, these two jobs have been our biggest blessing while he has been in school.

These experiences have opened up my idea of what my future could look like in regards to a career, and has sparked different interests and passions of mine. Growing up I always wanted to be a teacher thinking that I would be a mother and a teacher and that was it. Now I realize I can do that, and so much more as well. The sky is the limit!

I could write a gazillion posts about all the many blessings that God has blessed Trevor and I with this past year and half, or even throughout our lives, but I think some of the most meaningful ones come from our willingness to let go of "our plans" and let God help guide us.

Sometimes it can be hard to remember that God has a better plan for us then our own, but if we listen, we can have a life even we didn't know was possible for us.