a novel about my feelings right now...

I am always hesitant to get too personal on this blog, but then I remember that I like to come to this space to share, and express in all areas of my life.

Close to a year ago something happened with someone who I thought was becoming a friend that really affected me. I have actually been very surprised at how much it has affected me, and I guess this is a way for me to process it. The fact that it still bothers me, bothers me.

Growing up I always had a ton of friends. To be honest, I really didn't experience much girl drama growing up. How did I get so lucky? Well, I think I make good choices in friends for one, and maybe the other part was just luck? For awhile I just didn't believe that people really acted the way they did on television. No way were people really that mean? That rude? 

Then I watched as people bullied and teased my younger sister growing up, and I realized that I had experienced a different kind of middle and high school then what unfortunately some people have to experience.

I didn't go completely unscathed, but in comparison to what I have heard other people had to deal with, growing up for me was a total cinch. School was an amazing experience for me, my friends, all of it was really nothing short of magical. With that said I am sure there were people who didn't like me, but no one felt the need to tell me that or address that with me.
 
You see, I have always been under the impression if you meet someone and you two just don't "gel" you go your separate ways amicably, right? No need to say anything, you just "met that one time."

Well I got through middle school, high school, and even college with relatively no girl drama or issues whatsoever - hallelujah! - so when I graduated from college I naively thought that I had somehow escaped the wrath of mean girls. Boy was I wrong. I guess the saying is true, "You never truly leave high school."

Almost a year ago now I had something happen to me that deeply affected me and hurt my feelings. Why it STILL bothers me I don't know, and I wish that I could completely let it go, but I am working on it. I have never had to deal with anything like this and to some of you it may sound totally stupid, but for me, it was the first time anything like this had happened to me before.

I was relatively new to Provo and was looking to make some new friends in the area. I decided to hit up twitter and see if anyone who lived in the area was interested in meeting up with me at a Zumba class! I had always wanted to try a Zumba class and didn't want to go through the embarrassment of doing it by myself. A girl I had recently met at a blogger meet up said she wanted to meet me there, and thus the date was planned. I was really excited because I had remembered meeting her and really liking her. She said she was going to bring along her friend, which hey, the more the merrier right? I was looking forward to it! I was excited to meet people in a brand new place. I had been spending a lot of nights alone while Trevor was experiencing his first year of law school. And to put it bluntly, I was pretty lonely.

I am always nervous when I meet new people, and despite the confidence I might portray, it takes me awhile sometimes to warm up to people and be myself completely. We started to meet up for the occasional Zumba class, but I felt like we couldn't really get to know each other in a class where we are dancing the whole time and couldn't really talk. So I thought it would be nice to invite them over after one of our morning work outs for a little breakfast!

I whipped up some waffle mix (from a box - this part matters apparently in the story) because I didn't want to wake up even earlier to make them from scratch and I wanted to be ready to start making the waffles right when we got back from the class. After the class we all headed over to my place and as they sat down I started cooking the waffles. I tend to talk a lot when I am nervous, and I was indeed nervous! I just wanted these girls to have a good time. Somehow we got on the topic of how we had met our husbands and we each shared our stories. That was about as far as we went conversationally because they needed to leave. I remember thinking that they hadn't stayed that long, which was fine, it was a Saturday and people have things to do. But the whole thing just felt very short and abrupt.

From then on I felt them distance themselves from me. They weren't responding to my texts or wanting to meet up for class anymore. I would see them at the gym and go up to them to say hi (desperate much?! ha.) I didn't think too much of it, just that they obviously weren't looking for a new friend or anything, so I kind of just let it go.

Then probably a month or so later the horrible incident of the 2012 Aurora Batman Shooting happened. I was in shock with the rest of the country, but to add to that shock, was the fact that I knew the shooter. He grew up on my street, his parents still live there. I went to High School with him. All of it was just really sad. I was sad for all the victims, and for this young man's family. 

I went to social media, like we all did, and shared my condolences to the families who lost loved ones, and to the family of the shooter, to my hometown as well as Colorado. I had also said something about being in shock about knowing the shooter.

To my surprise my "friend" who I hadn't talked to in probably a month or longer, the one I used to go to the gym with, responded to that tweet by saying, "We should not think of ourselves in this time of tragedy, but instead think of those who were affected.”
 
I was pretty taken aback. Thoughts started running through my mind such as "Um, am I taking this wrong or did she just try to call me out? That isn't what I meant at all?! What did she mean by that?"

At first I wasn't going to say something. Maybe I took what she said wrong, but it just kept nagging at me. I am not one to keep quiet, especially if something is bothering me. (Hence this blog post, ha) The whole thing just didn't seem like something a friend would say, and to do it it publicly like that on Twitter just didn't settle right with me. So I sent her a message.

I explained to her how I didn't understand why she wrote that, and felt like she was trying to call me out. I apologized if I came off in a way that was bringing attention to myself, and that it was an innocent tweet. I also expressed how I felt like if she had been really upset by what I had said, as a friend that I know in real life, responding like that online seemed inappropriate and that I would have appreciated her just talking to me about it. Negative feedback online is normal, but from someone I know in my real life, I expect real interactions and conversations. Is that expecting too much?

Well, I couldn't have predicted what came next. She wrote me back basically telling me that she responded to me publicly because she felt I was acting in my own interests, that I talk about myself too much, and continued to go on to say how I twist situations to be all about me. The way she wrote it, you could tell this wasn't someone who wanted to remain friends with me. This wasn't coming from a place of love.

WOW. Totally floored. Totally shocked. This is someone who I had thought was becoming at least somewhat of a friend (although she had been distant for some time) and I was totally blindsided. There was nothing kind about the way she wrote the message at all. It was evident she didn't like me, let alone wanted to be my friend. It was as if she had been waiting for the right moment to tell me how she actually felt about me, and this was her opportunity, and boy did she pounce on it.

In one way, I respected her honesty, in another, her delivery was incredibly rude and inappropriate. Like I said before, isn't the more normal response to just move on from someone you don't want to be friends with? I mean we had really only just met, there was no need for such a production. It just didn't make sense that if she didn't like me that she would still be following and reading my twitter let alone responding to them in a condescending manner? I didn't really understand her behavior at all.

I responded to her message letting her know these feelings, and that I also felt like we had hardly spent anytime together for her to 1. Really know who I was as a person, and 2. To have the privilege of talking to me like that.

I can take criticism, but it usually only resonates with me from close friends and family who I know have the best intentions in helping me become a better person, not some girl who I went to a few Zumba classes with and had one breakfast with. Yet even with how insignificant this person was in my life, her words hurt. I started wondering if this is what everyone thought of me? Is this how I come across? 

I wish that is where the story ended. If I thought my feelings were hurt then, nothing has hurt my feelings more then the day I saw on twitter that her and her friend had said, "Lol @ ultra sensitive bloggers. And PS your waffles sucked. #GoodRiddance."

I read it, and I instantly broke down in tears.

These were two girls I had just tried to get to know. I had been feeling lonely so I reached out and I invited them into my home. I was nothing but nice to them. Sure, maybe I talked too much, I tend to do that, especially when I am nervous. But instead of giving me another chance, or just moving on once they decided I wasn't a good "fit" for them, they decided to publicly be rude to me. It felt like someone had spit in my face.

Trevor, bless his heart, is such a guy and didn't really know what to say. He went to hug me and then asked, "Well, did you make the good waffles or the bad waffles?" BAH! In retrospect I love how hilarious my husband is. I made the waffles from a dang box! I didn't have time before the gym to make the good ones I responded. I basically started laughing through my crying all at the same time. Love that husband of mine.

But what was I doing? I am a grown woman and I let the words of two girls I hardly know make me cry?! I couldn't believe that I had made such an effort to befriend someone, and when they decided they didn't like me instead of just walking away and letting it go like normal people, they resorted to talking about me (publicly) on twitter.

Now this all may sound very petty, at the end of the day, it really is. Maybe I am ultra sensitive! But even if I am, does that make that kind of behavior okay? All in all, why do I care if two random people in this world like me or not? Like I said, I am sure there are others who don't like me either, but they are just more mature about it.

At the end of the day everyone still wants to be liked. I have good intentions. But what I think bothers me the most about the situation is that I was genuinely trying to be nice and make friends, invited these girls into my home, and instead I got told all the things I need to work on. All the flaws in my personality. I felt very misunderstood, and judged by someone I hardly even knew.

So why am I even sharing this story?

Because the real problem that has developed is that ever since this happened, I have been extremely paranoid when I meet new people. Am I talking too much? Do they think I am annoying? I instantly have thoughts that people are not going to like me now. I have been second guessing everything. 

I don't know why I have become so incredibly insecure about it all, because I do have amazing friends - although most of them live far away :( Maybe it is because nothing like this has ever happened to me before? Late bloomer in experiencing mean girl behavior? I feel like a sixteen year old right now.

But with that insecurity, I also gained something from the experience that I will always take with me. I will be incredibly careful of what I say to people, I don't want to hurt someone's feelings like mine were that day. What is the point in that? Telling someone that you don't like them has never done anything for anybody. It is just mean. 

I will also give more people the benefit of the doubt, and be more charitable in my feelings towards them. And I have made a more conscious effort to work on the flaws I know I do have. I have always been aware of them, but there is nothing like having someone so blatantly, and with such degradation tell you your flaws.  

And even though I don't think I could or would ever treat a friend the way I was treated in that situation, if I ever have a problem with a friend (or ANYONE for that matter), I will make sure to approach it in a much more loving, caring and sympathetic way. I would want them to feel that it was coming from a place of love. Because friend or not, that is how a kind person would approach something.

With everything I have learned, I still can't seem to shake this new insecurity of meeting new people. How do you let go of something that so deeply hurt you that it has affected the way you act? I have realized there is a step past forgiveness, a step where you can't let it affect you negatively anymore, and I am just not sure how to get there?


195 comments

  1. Hey girl (I sound like Ryan Gosling, but that's the goal because he is comforting). As someone who doesn't know you in real life but has read your blog consistently for a long time I must say this story broke my heart, but at the same time I'm really happy you shared it. I feel like a lot of people will be able to relate to it, myself included. Its really hard and sometimes drastically uncomfortable making friends when you're not in school. Where else can you do it? Its so hard as an adult so social media is almost easier than going to a bar or coffee shop and randomly chatting up someone. Way too intimidating. I may just have to go to one of these blogger meet ups and just say hello. I think you're charming and adorable and I like that you talk a lot because I do too. I hope you start feeling better soon and I hope the ugly feelings pass. :]

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    1. hey, girl... what she said!

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    2. Jordan, thank you. You made me tear up!

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    3. Hey girl Kaara :]. And Alycia, the fact that you took the time to reply to every single comment just shows what a sweetheart you truly are.

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  2. You know what, I think this situation, especially what they said, would have hurt anyones feelings. And I'm not surprised you still carry it around with you. Honestly, even if it doesn't ever go away, not everyone is going to be like that. But those times that you meet people who turn out to be your best friends, they more than make up for it. Sending much love and support.

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    1. They do indeed make up for it :)! Thanks Nicola!!!

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  3. So, I stumbled across your blog last year and realized that you looked familiar... I think we were in the same stake in Poway? San Diego? Maybe? I'm not sure, but hello!

    I once saw the phrase "The more you love your decisions, the less you need others to love them," and that really resonated with me. I try so hard to show love to everyone around me, and when that is not returned, it is so hard. But I try to keep that phrase in my mind (or on my wall by my bed at one point), and try to live my life that way.

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    1. Thanks Allison, love that quote! &yes, I am from San Diego, I grew up in the PQ Stake, PQ 3 Ward!! Which ward were you in?! Small world.

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    2. Poway Stake, Lake Poway Ward :)

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  4. This kind of broke my heart! I honestly don't understand people sometimes. What would they get out of being mean to you? I'm the type of person who tries to like everyone and at least be kind to them. I hope you can realize that you were the bigger person and acted better than they did. Sending some happiness your way!

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  5. I am so sorry that you had this awful experience with two girls who were obviously (to me) quite jealous of you? I dunno. But being rude usually doesn't stem from someone who just doesn't care in a way, you know? Like if they really didn't care, they wouldn't even take the time to make a rude comment, which to me, secures the fact they unfortunately are jealous.
    You are a fun, amazing, sweet and level-headed woman, it is plain to see!
    That is one of the reasons I, and so many others, love reading what you have to say! You can just tell you're always coming from the right place.
    I haven't dealt with much mean, drama girls in my life either, a few, but not like some people. I always avoid it when I see it I guess. I'd rather be lonely than be around that type of person? is that sad? i dunno!
    BUt anyway, I'm rambling... I hope you are able to just give it to God, and you will find forgiveness and realize this is more about them than you, sweet girl!
    xoxo

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    1. Not sad at all! I would rather be alone in my apartment then worrying what my "friends" are saying about me behind my back! I feel like I am getting closer to finally "getting over it", I honestly don't know why it has been so hard. I think it was just because during that time I was in such a fragile state of mind, extremely lonley, and to have that happen then, it all just really, really affected me.

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  6. I am so sorry this happened to you! I can't believe someone would do that. At the end of the day - they are clearly just jealous of you. It seems like people who act out rudely like that are usually even more insecure themselves and therefore feel like they have to tear people down to feel good about themselves. It's sad.

    Also - I know Trevor is gone again for the summer and so is my hubby. We should hang out sometime, I happen to like zumba AND box waffles:)

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    1. You just made me laugh out loud! haha We need to have a box waffle date and you can show me your killer yoga moves. I want to try that crazy areal stuff you do! Also, you can tell me all about your trip to China!!! Loved following along on insta!

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    2. Yes that would be so fun! - I remember you saying that yoga can sometimes hurt your wrists and I was thinking that you would LOVE the aerial yoga because it is really gentle and doesn't put any pressure on your wrists! Seriously, let me know when you want to get together and we'll make it happen! :)

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    3. I can't wait to try it! &I actually got to a point where it doesn't hurt my wrists, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! :)

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  7. It all comes down to jealousy. Plain and simple. I'm so sorry you had to go through this :(

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  8. ^Ditto to all that said above!^Exactly what I was thinking. Girls....are really just mean when they are jealous i think! It's awful and I'm sad they would say something like that. when i read what they tweeted, i had to laughed because of how STUPID that makes them look. like, seriously? Alicia, you are totally a better person for not "lashing" back and talking through this! you are so sweet!

    ps-box waffles are bomb :) have a fantastic Sunday!

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    1. Well maybe I am not a totally better person! At first I didn't respond, then I did say something on twitter. Felt like a total idiot for even stooping to that level and deleted it. BAH. I am trying...

      And yes, I have always like box waffles too, haha.

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  9. This post hit home for me. Girls are mean and I'm sorry for saying this but growing up in Utah, I feel like a lot of girls here can be mean. I've lived with someone who I thought was my best friend for 3 years. My family has helped her out with financial, emotional, and many other needs. About a month ago she and a friend came home and didn't know I was in the other room. They started trashing me more than I could ever comprehend. She doesn't think she did anything wrong and she doesn't have any desire to be my friend anymore... even after 3 years and everything I've helped her with. It hurts and I still can't get over it. She tries to pin it on me when she was the one that was in the wrong I'm just wondering what your take or input would be on my situation. I don't know you personally but I know that you're a sweet girl. If you ever need a friend I'm up in Salt Lake :)

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    1. Oh Kylie that is rough! I will e-mail you ;)

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  10. Wow this is so sad! I don't know you personally, Alycia but I've followed your blog and instagram for a long time and it's easy to see that you're loved by so many people! Including me :)
    I just wish I still lived in Utah so WE could be real friends :)

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    1. Thanks Denise! Congrats on your news about having a GIRL :) So exciting!

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  11. Hi there, I've been following for a little while but never commented...I just had to with this post though. I have had a couple of similar circumstances and it has been so hard for me to shake the feeling that maybe those mean girls were right when they said I "didn't know what it meant to be a friend" or that I was "selfish." I find myself telling my own "mean girl" stories a lot just to get validation from people that no, they were wrong, I'm not a bad person. But I know that's not right. I need to believe it myself. And this is really one of the main reasons I haven't gotten more into blogging - I'm afraid of attracting more meanies! So I am right there with you. Thanks for being so open and honest :)

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    1. I am totally willing to admit my faults, it was just so classless to have someone I hardly know confront me like that and say those things to me. So it isn't even so much trying to validate it as it is, not trying to let it affect my future relationships! &don't be afraid of blogging! You will miss out on all the great people and support, I mean, look at all this love today?!

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  12. Alycia, let's be honest no one needs friends that are too good for boxed waffles. There are thousands ( literally, just look at your followers) of women that adore you! It's because you are so cute and quirky. Also, when someone has that much hatred for you without really knowing you, it usually just comes from jealousy. So really just take it as the compliment as it is! You are wonderful... who wouldn't be jealous of you!

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    1. Rashell, I think we need to make a new bumper sticker that says, "let's be honest no one needs friends that are too good for boxed waffles." P.S. Why have we not hung out more?! I havn't seen you since that run in at Target. We have a lot to catch up on, I mean, you are going to be having a baby soon!!!

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  13. Wait. People actually make waffles from SCRATCH? ;) Waffles from a box are so good though!

    Sometimes people just downright stink at being decent human beings. But. That's when I tend to learn the most about myself and grow the most (and realize how I never, ever want to treat other people).

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  14. UGH people suck sometimes! how rude. i remember hating high school because of how downright catty girls could be. those girls are missing out big time. i don't even know you (though i feel like i do because of how much i read your blog) but i can see that you would be an amazing friend!

    also, since i am probably the worst cook in the world and have been known to burn toast, i would eat your boxed waffles any day!

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  15. Oh my goodness, I can not believe this happened. I believe your story but it is hard to think that people can be that mean!

    xx
    Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

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  16. I don't know you in real life, but have often thought as I've read your blog that you would be such a fun friend! I can't believe that those girls treated you that way! I've been treated horribly by friends in the past, and it doesn't feel good.

    I had an experience the other day that I can't stop thinking about. Someone that I love dearly was telling me about a girl that she sees at the gym at the 6 am class. This girl comes to class with make-up on, including orange lipstick. The person that I love went on to make fun of this girl with her friends because of the way she looked, and called her "Orange Lipstick Girl". I was shocked. I couldn't believe that she was treating this girl that way. She doesn't even know her. It made me sad and angry because I'm sure this girl is just trying her best, and she is being made fun of behind her back.

    I get really defensive of women who get treated badly by other women. It isn't a competition. We are all trying to be the best we can be, and we need women to lift us up, rather than put us down. I wish there was something that I could do to get women to think differently about other women, and not be such "Mean Girls"! As much as I love that movie, I don't want to see that happen in real life.

    I think you are an amazing woman! If you're ever in the Salt Lake/Davis County area I'd love to meet up!

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    1. Thanks Katie! I know that I have been guilty of gossiping a time or two myself, and after experiencing this is REALLY changed everything for me. I am super cautious now about my thoughts and what I say... no one should ever have to feel that way. I think it is something we all need to be more aware of!

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  17. I had a similar high school experience so I think something like this would be really hard for me to deal with too. The only good thing is that at you learned from it. Hanna

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  18. that is just crazy and mean. i totally had an experience like that so i can relate. people can be just plain mean, especially when it's through the internet. they think it means they can say whatever they want. and im totally the same way about making friends now.

    you probably dont remember me, but i was at the blogger meet-up at francescas in orem. i thought you seemed like such a cool girl. plus, i think you know my friend rosanna pesci/hickens.

    anyway, girls can suck sometimes. and if you ever need someone to go to zumba with, id be glad to go haha.

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    1. Yes! I remember you telling me about you know them :) Love Rosi! You should come to the blogger meet up this Tuesday night, have you heard about it?

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    2. yeah i heard about it but i have a wedding reception to go to. im going to try and go to both

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  19. Girls are mean, whatever. I would so be your friend. And never complain about your waffles. :)

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  21. I am so sorry that happened to you! I am similar to you in that it takes time for me to warm up to people and I have had pretty good experiences with friends. I have two best friends that I have known for almost 20 years! I sometimes expect that everyone has those same experiences with friends that I have had. I think some girls grew up with bad "girl experiences" and hold a grudge. I am not one to really move on from friend to friend. In my adult experience I think there are a lot of girls that have tons of surface friends and thats how they like it. I would rather have a few friends that I can trust that a ton of acquaintances. I know its hard to meet new people and then put in time and they turn out to be crazy! In church today our pastor was just talking about forgiveness and how it takes time and lots of prayer. He told a story about a person who wronged him and how he held onto it for years. He finally decided to pray for that person everyday. He randomly ran into him and had a pleasant conversation with him. He said that was when he knew he had forgiven him and he was free!

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    1. That was a beautiful story, thanks for sharing! I tend to be the same way, I have deep deep friendships and its hard for me to maintain the "surface fluff" kind that happens around me sometimes. I just want good, fun, authentic, and healthy relationships!! haha

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  22. Being so honest and open and willing to share personal experiences always helps others deal, cope or handle their own situations better. i am so glad you shared this, and i am even more hopeful that those girls read this and feel as ashamed as they should be. it is so important to be kind - you could have fed them garbage and that still would have never excused it :)

    with that said, i remember about a year ago a really, really good friend had said things about me (at my own wedding!) that hurt my feelings a lot. i remember being really upset and bitter about it for a long, long time. i know this is going to sound really random, but i read a book called the peacegiver (which is actually about a couple whose marriage is in trouble) but somehow that book really resonated with my own personal experience with this friend, and more importantly, taugh me the importance and necessity to forgive and let go of my frustrations. it honestly changed my life, and all future experiences that came after that, because of the way this book talks and teaches about forgiveness. anyway, the reason i share this is just in case you're at a deseret book in the next week or two, i'd highly recommend picking this book up. it is soo wonderful. and ps. i think you are too :)

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    1. Thank you so much Kelsie! Like I said, this is still affecting me, and has taken me much longer then anything before in regards to forgiveness. I am totally going to pick that book up!!

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  23. My heart broke reading this lastest post of yours. Can I also say how refreshing it is to see such a long written post? I appreciate your openness and honesty. :) I know we should not have to apologise for the toxic words and actions of others, but I am truly sorry that there are mean girls out there and that you had to hurt over it. I have been on the receiving end of 'mean girls' in an online forum I used to frequent years ago. Its almost surreal how people you have met or have never met (in my case both) can bring you to tears through a computer screen. I really feel people say more online than they would ever say to your face, not that it makes the situation any easier to deal with. I think it can even make it harder because you can just reread the words people write over and over. :/ But I do have an experience I wanted to share with you to maybe give you hope in the insecurity of relationships with new girls. I had a separating of ways with two of my closest IRL friends and made the mistake of still following them on twitter. They used to write really mean things about me, and maybe it was because they knew I could see their tweets. Due to my current circumstance being really low at that point it just made it worse to read those tweets. but some how years later I was able to rekindle a friendship with one of them and we are still really good friends now. So there is some coming back from 'mean girl' syndrome. I have moved around so much all my life so I am also constantly overly aware of things I say, do, or dont say when I'm with people. I probably over analyze myself to a fault. So I totally get what you said about how your feeling about meeting new people. I think the best advice I could give to you that I try to tell myself is that life is short. We never know how long our time will be on this earth. Every day is precious. we are all not perfect we are going to mess up and we will probably say the wrong thing at some point. Focus on the good people in your life, and on the good times. :)

    Thank you also for commenting on my blog today. It made my day. :)

    Bonnie Rose | a Compass Rose

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    1. Thanks Bonnie! I don't think a few bad choices and behavior make you a bad person, so I don't look at these girls and think they are bad people at all. But they did treat me poorly and because of that I have now developed this massive insecurity. And your right, I just need to focus on the good people, the positive, and not let those negative things stay in my head :)

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  24. Alycia, I'm so sorry you've had this experience! What is shocking to me is that the older I get, the MORE I seem to experience girl drama. I think it's hard to move on because you didn't really have closure with the incident. Instead of apologizing for their actions, or even just remaining silent, they poured salt into the wound. Why do girls do that?! I don't know, but I do know these things can take a while to heal, especially when no healing happens from the other side. I think you can see from all these comments that none of us think less of you for it--those girls behaved badly! And any time you need someone to go do something with, I'm game! I like waffles of all kinds :)

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    1. Thanks Megan, I will have to have you over for some of my "good waffles" :)

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  25. I loved this. I love when we can be open on our blogs. You are amazing and I hope we can meet up one day. Ill be nice I promise!! Hugs! Xo

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  26. I had a girl friend who got offended so dang easily that I couldn't do anything right. If I didn't tell her about my first kiss with a new boy, I was keeping stuff from her. If I told her about my date with a cute guy in detail, I was making it all about me. She even told me that he was going to parties and seeing girls behind my back (he wasn't, now he's my husband) She once blogged about a day she spent with me and mentioned how excited she was to see her old friend that night because it had been a really hard day.

    Anyway, I'm just trying to say, I understand. And how rude. And I eat boxed pancakes almost everyday. And if you want to hang out with a mom of two babies, I'd happily meet you down in Provo! We're always looking for a chance to get out of the house :) You are so kind to occasionally read/comment on my blog when you have SO many followers. I think you're darling.

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    1. We totally should hang out sometime! I love kids :) I feel like most my friends up here have kids so the more the merrier! haha

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  27. Totally loved this post for your openness and honesty! I was like you, no drama growing up and I'll never forget the dorms at BYU girls creating a mean girl clique and bragging about it. Oh man, seriously, they couldn't get out of high school! I was floored this was real life- as was every other freshman on campus!

    I think I have to echo everyone else with the jealous comment. You are sweet and one of the prettiest bloggers around, with one of biggest followings- for a reason! While most are adoring how cute and inspiring you are, there are always going to be those who seek to tear down. It's always the full-package girls who are picked on.

    One of my young women's leaders growing up was Chelsie Hightower's (SYTYCD) mom. This leader was gorgeous and looked just like Chelsie! Chelsie's brother was my good friend and he told me to be extra nice to his mom because she was terrified of women and teenage girls since they had all been so mean to her and bullied her throughout her life. I was amazed- such an amazing woman was AFRAID of women? Unfortunately it happens all to often. I'm here to tell you that you look like that YW leader!

    Blogging is a funny thing where there are two kinds of bloggers. I honestly believe it only takes a couple posts for people to realize if they are cool, amazing, and kind, or if they fall into the "mean girl" trying to be cool group. I think these girls were in the latter, and they will attract those types of readers. The really cool ones are like you- nice to all and drama free :)

    Maybe next meetup the first questions should be:
    1. How to do feel about boxed waffles?
    2. Are you a mean girl blogger?

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    1. Love your suggestions for when I meet new people :) hahaha And yes, unfortunately girls talking about each other, and being catty is nothing new, and a problem that seems to be getting worse with the availability of online resources. I have never been one to let other's affect the way I feel, and I think that's why this has been so challenging. In some odd way it has been good in the aspect that it really helps me relate to people who have been truly bullied and teased. I never experienced that growing up, and so to get what I consider a small, but still effective taste of it, I feel I can be much more compassionate to those experiencing things like this. Thanks for your sweet comments!

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    2. You bet! And way to turn something super negative into a positive!

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  28. Even though I am still in college, I completely understand where you are coming from. I happen to be in a sorority at my school and thus basically threw myself into the lion's den. At times I would be so incredibly frustrated because some of the girls could be so incredibly catty and rude and some of my own "sisters" wouldn't even say hi to me if they saw me on campus. Naturally, this wasn't exactly easy to handle, I wanted so badly for these girls to like me; however, I'm quickly beginning to realize that I shouldn't even want to be friends with some of these girls. Now I'm beginning to seek out people who are true friends. I want friends that are not only going to spend time with me and are fun to be around but I want them to be a good influence and make me a better person just by being around them. Slowly but surely I'm finding those people, and from what it sounds like you seem like an amazing person with such a good heart and you deserve friends that will treat you with respect! You aren't missing out on anything by not being friends with that mean girl blogger. ;)

    xx

    http://thattallgirlinheels.com

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    1. Good for you for realizing you need to be treated better!! I know it can be hard because we all just want to be accepted and liked. Thanks for the reminder :)

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  29. I so appreciate this post as I can totally relate to it! I haven't had something like that happen in a long time, but I definitely have been part of mean girl treatment...including publicly. It's the reason I don't have Facebook and the reason I don't accept anonymous comments on my blog. I can so relate to that feeling of paranoia. The worst part is, some of my paranoia comes from things that people have said to me who were/are my friends. I think you're pretty amazing and chances are, they knew it and didn't feel comfortable with that. "People throw rocks at things that shine."

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    1. anytime you can fit a taylor swift quote into your comment, you are stellar in my book :)! haha Thanks Sharlee

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  30. It is so unfortunate when people are rude for no reason, especially when you have been nothing but nice to them! I've experienced this a handful of times and it is really painful. I wish that it didn't bother me, but it does. That sensitivity is a good thing though because it makes you a kind, loving, and empathetic person! Don't let that bad experience with some real stinkbugs taint your experience in making new friends. They were the exception, not the rule :)

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    1. They were the exception, not the rule. Love that!!! Thanks jess!!!

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  31. Thanks for sharing this experience! Even though I haven't met you and have only recently started following your blog, it's clear that you are a kind and genuine person It's sad that some girls seem to feel validated by making fun of other girls. Especially ones they're jealous of. You definitely didn't deserve to be treated the way you were.
    I had a similar experience when I started middle school. I was invited to a slumber party with about 15 girls. I tried to just be friendly and be myself. I left thinking that I had made a bunch of new friends. The next week these same girls started making fun of me all the time. I remember that once they told me that I belonged in the trash. They said this just because I had told them that I had kissed a boy before! In high school I was bullied by a separate set of girls who would also say nasty things to me and would even throw things at me. Just like you, I now struggle to meet new people. It used to be so severe that I could barely even say a word to someone I didn't know.
    I still am rather shy around new people but I'm getting better. I've found that there's not a simple solution to this problem. The thing that's helped me most is time. Each positive experience I have with someone I don't know helps me. I have to try and tell myself to give other people the benefit of the doubt and not expect them to treat me unfairly.
    I don't know what was wrong with those girls but I would feel lucky to be your friend!

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    1. Aw man Sierra! This is what I was saying when I said people have experienced bullying in a way I have never even been close to. My heart goes out to you. I can only imagine how hard that was, and still is in certain situations. Its good to see you be so positive about it though, I am going to take a page from you book and just keep trying my best with time to not be so paranoid about it all. Totally consider us friends ;)

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  32. Love you! And your Mia's favorite.... so that's really all that matters ;)

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  33. What a couple of ungrateful humans. I would not worry about how they perceive you, they're the ones that behaved badly. I'm sorry you were subjected to those hateful women. You're a good person with a good heart. Paige

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    1. for some weird reason the account says my Dad's name but I'm a woman. No creepy dude.

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    2. Thanks Paige! I always accidently make comments while logged into Trevor's account too haha :)

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  34. This story was so heart-breaking. Seriously, made me what to give you a big hug ( in a totally non-creepy way). I feel like I made it through most of school too pretty unscathed from mean girls. Senior year of high school I hit a rocky patch with a couple girlfriend and it made me totally insecure all through college, so I really missed out on making girl friendships then. Just now, I'm starting to realize that I can't keep being paranoid and afraid of mean girls. I know I'm a good person and and if others don't see that and want to talk crap then screw them. They are the ones losing out. Seriously, those girls are the ones who missed out on your friendship. And how did they never learn- if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all!!!? Chin up, buttercup. I can tell your a great person!

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    1. Totally no creepy at all! haha I just need to be more like you and not let it bother me anymore, and not worry what the other person is thinking too much!!

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  35. I don't know if you remember me...I am your brother Ben's age...does Meagan Steele ring a bell?? We moved from San Diego in like 2000, and we haven't been back, but our families always did stuff together! You and my brother Jared are the same ages. Anyways, you're adorable. and I can't remember how I found your blog but I'm so glad I did! Anyways, this story! Those girls!! So awful. A year ago, we moved across town to move to the nicer/and SAFER side of town, and a girl from my old ward "warned" another girl in my new ward about me. She said I was a brat. and not someone she wanted to get to know. Now, I don't know who told her, but the girl she told in my new ward told me and she goes, just so you know, she was totally wrong about you. I was almost going to cry/laugh/hunt this girl down and beat her up! It stuck with me for a long time, and it made me think a lot about the situation. You can't please everyone, and God definitely doesn't expect you to be friends with everyone, but I just didn't quite understand where she was coming from to make those assumptions about me. ANYWAYS. Girls can be so mean. and having a quick out in social media (and anonymous comments on blogs, I've had a few nasty commenters too), it drives me crazy. Keep doing what you're doing.

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    1. MEAGAN! Of course I remember you!! We always did Canadian Thanksgiving with your family :) You lived down the street. I totally had the biggest crush on Jared haha. It has been sad to read how common this kind of stuff is with girls! Shame. Hope you and your family are doing great!!

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    2. YES! Glad we reconnected! We (haha my husband, but I deserve that diploma just as much!), just graduated from law school and are now living on the coast of Florida. Good luck getting though the rest of school. 3L year will go by so quickly!

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  36. Alycia, this post just broke my heart to read the story of what happened. I am a very sensitive person myself and I know that hearing those harsh cruel words would hurt so much. Who even knows why they were mean. There doesn't seem to be a reason. And even if they dislike you, it doesn't give them a reason to act like a bitter teenage girl about it. How immature and mean can you be? It is really sad. I am sorry, friend, that now you have to feel so paranoid about what people are thinking or how you are acting. I have actually been like that all my life and automatically assume people dislike me even when they say they do. I'm crazy, right? But what we have to realize is most of what we tell ourselves and make ourselves nuts over with worry is lies. You are a good, lovely, kind woman. With your own personality and your own uniqueness and maybe not everyone will like that but the friends that are meant to be there will love you for everything even the bad and will stick with you through it. They will encourage and maybe they will correct and call you out on things when YOU need it but they will do it with kindness and not intention to hurt. It was those girls loss to not have you as a friend. But don't let it bring you down. Keep being yourself and those friends, the ones that will matter, will accept your friendship and be a good friend to you. Don't get discouraged! You are awesome.

    P.S. even if the waffles DID suck, the true friends will enjoy them still because you were kind enough to offer breakfast. heck, i'd be thankful just to have a friend to hang out with no matter what the food tasted like :)

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    1. Thanks Katie! I can't imagine people feeling like this all the time, my heart goes out to people who have to deal with that! This is such a foreign feeling for me. Thanks for the advice.

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  37. I can't believe they called you out for box waffles! Clearly your original tweet came from a very genuine place. It would be so much to process if you actually knew the shooter and all the complex emotions with feeling compassion for his family as well as the victims. Some people need to see situations like these tragedies in black and white. Good and evil. They can't seem to accept the shades of grey. It sounds as if their black and white thinking just couldn't process the complexity of your grey. What a strange way to go about it though!

    So now to make this comment all about me (ha!) just over a year ago I had several friends -very long time high school friends- inexplicably decide that they didn't want to be my friend any more. They even de-friended me on Facebook. I'm not sure exactly why that hurt so much but social media is such a part of our lives that it is a real statement you know? These were people I actually considered to be some of my bestest friends. I even thought one girl would be my future bridesmaid. Like you, I wanted to get to the bottom of it and find out what was going on. I just couldn't let it rest. Well, that had a very unexpected outcome- some of the most hurtful things I've ever heard attacking my personality. I was crying myself to sleep. I spent ages trying to work out what had gone wrong. There were some instances where I was at fault, but others in the same situation had been forgiven so why hadn't I?

    At the end of the day there isn't any way for me to understand why they cut me off if they only give vague explanations and I clearly can't change how they feel. It seriously felt like a dagger to the heart and so unexpected! It's so hard to process. In years to come I'll probably find out that it was something as silly as box waffles making them realise that we just weren't a good fit anymore...!

    So in other words this is a very long comment to say that I get it. In my case it was people that I actually held deep in my heart. It has made me question absolutely everything I ever thought about myself. Luckily I have mutual friends with the ex-friends who have been fabulous and careful not to take sides (I did my best not to talk about it with them even though I wanted to vent so bad!) At the end of the day I know that I was coming from a pure and genuine place. Other peoples' behaviour is usually a reflection of what is going on in their life.

    Just try not to close your heart to new friendships because of being burnt this time. Take care. G

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    1. Oh man, I can't even fathom if something like this happened with people I hold near and dear to my heart! I don't really care about having a friendship with these girls, it was the aftermath that has been affecting me with future friendships. I am really trying hard to not let it affect those new friendships. I am happy to hear you still have some great friends around you for support!

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  38. I hate when stuff like this happens. It's so hard to get over situations like this where unexpected criticism is dumped on you. My former visiting teacher acted so nice to me at church and then once she wrote a post about my church wardrobe choices on her (private) blog that I was actually invited to read. She must have forgotten I was a reader (even though I often left comments) because I saw that post and my jaw dropped. When our mutual friends told her, she deleted me from FB and her blog but she acted like nothing happened when we'd see each other at church.

    WHAT THE RANDOM?! But, y'know, it happens. And it doesn't matter if you're 16 or 26. People can be mean. Props to you for dealing with it pretty gracefully.

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    1. I can't even wrap my head around this! She just pretended it didn't even happen?! Yikes. Sorry you had to experience that. I can only imagine how church is now when you see her... crazy!!

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  39. I"m sure a handful of us girls can relate to this! I know exactly how you feel and I have been going through the same thing right now. I'm having trouble finding friends in Provo/Orem as well despite my best effort, and many of my friends have moved away and no longer talk to me :(... its a bummer!

    Keep being yourself though! I love your blog and think you are such a kind and genuine person!

    XOXO

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    1. It is so rough moving somewhere new! And hey, we can be friends!!! Let's get together sometime! :) haha

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  40. all I'm saying is that I've never experienced problems with girls until recently with a few utah girls. It baffles me! I feel your pain girl. I can be your friend and we can both talk about ourselves and eat boxed waffles. I'm totally down with that.

    xoxo
    ally

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  41. The internet is a very weird place. When I first joined Instagram, I was so excited and I just loved snapping pictures of everything, and especially when I was walking around stores. One day, a girl that I had attended middle, high school, AND college with commented that I was so materialistic and that I was a victim of "overconsumption." I was floored, because we had barely spoken two sentences to each other in all those years. Also, anyone who really knows me or reads my blog knows that while I take pictures of things that I see that I like, I hardly go around and buying everything I see. If anything, I'm always blogging about doing stuff on the cheap! I was shocked that someone who didn't know me at all (yet, actually knew me in real life) would make that comment instead of just unfollowing me.

    Good for you though, for make the effort to get to know people in your new area. I just moved to a totally knew place where I know NO ONE, and to make things worse, I was here for about a month without my husband. It's difficult to put yourself out there, and you shouldn't let this ruin your attitude. Keep doing what you're doing, and I'm sure things will get better! And if I didn't live on the East Coast, I would totally eat waffles with you, good or bad. Let's skip the pilates, though. I really suck at it.

    ~L

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    1. That's what I don't get either, if someone doesn't like you, why read your twitter and your blog and makes comments about it?! haha Obviously there is something else going on there with THEM! &yes, new places are rough, and I feel you on the no husband thing, Trevor is gone for the whole summer!

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  42. I don't know why girls feel the need to be so mean and catty to someone they barely even know (or never took the time to get to know!); and I was once like this too - in jr high! I guess some people never really mature. And to call you out on twitter? Once again, that's 13 year old stuff. If I lived in Utah I would totally go to Zumba with you and eat your pancakes. You seem like such a fun and loving person, who wouldn't want to be friends with you? Their loss.

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  43. I love you! Thanks for the post! Great seeing you the other night!

    Shannon
    stylewithshannon.com

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  44. How could people be so...rude. My heart broke while reading this. Keep your head up and remember to be yourself. If someone does not like you for who you are, then they are not worth it.

    I, for one, like you :) (not in a creepy way!)

    XO Lourdes

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  45. Women are catty.. I wish it was different but as a whole we just aren't very nice sometimes.
    I still struggle to develop relationships with women because growing up I surrounded myself with guy friends. They don't hold grudges, they forgive you of your faults, you can tease them to no end and they don't remember what you wore the day before.
    I guess what I'm saying is we need to be more like men sometimes.... hahaha

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  47. Wow, it is incredible how insecure those so called "friends" put themselves across to be! That's what came to my mind. I haven't ever met you in person but you seem nice, friendly, very genuine and overall a person who has a lot going on for her in her life!
    I know how the lonely feeling feels, and how hard it is to make new friends. Don't let this hold you back from meeting new people. Thanks for sharing what I think a lot of us go through and end up holding onto inside. Keep being the awesome person you are and the same kind of people will gravitate towards you!

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  48. waffles from the box are the GOOD waffles at our house ;) so sorry this happened to you. it sucks! (and i speak from experience)

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  49. Names, that's all I need!.. Jk lol but thanks for your story! Its something that unfortunately most of us can relate to

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  50. This is the weirdest post I've ever read. Not because I think you're weird...But because, come on! Who could hate you?
    WHAT?
    You are so great, and I really just want to be your BFF.

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    1. BFF's DONE. Lets actually hang out instead of me just chatting up your mother in Tai Pan ;) haha

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  51. Hi Alycia,

    I'm sorry this happened. It's always a shock when "adults" are less than civil about "seemingly" situations. Like you, I can't say I've had too much experience with mean people, but there have been a few.

    With anything in this life that is heartbreaking, trying, lonely, shocking and dissapointing, I have found 100 percent of the time that serving will help mend your heart.

    Don't be so nervous. Don't second guess. And remember not everyone is going to like you, like your husband or you kids...hahhaha, wise words from my husband a long time ago. :)

    I see you have good friends and this is such an incredible blessing. Prayer and service are real tools that have helped me in some of my hardest times.

    Take care Alycia,

    Shauna xo

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    1. Best advice yet. Serving others. THANK YOU SHAUNA!!!

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  52. I love how people can behave so terribly and then avoid responsibility by claiming it's really just your "sensitivity" or "irrational perception"...bleh. Good for you for being the bigger person.

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  53. Online bullying is the WORST. I don't know why some women have to be publicly rude. To be honest, I have never really gotten over my cousin belittling me during high school and then going after the guy I liked and getting him to ask her to prom. It's hard to trust people after that!

    My advice, if you're scared about meeting new people, is to find a married couple and then invite them over to hang out with you and your husband. That way you can see how the girl acts around her husband (and your husband) and you can determine whether she's someone you'd get along with. Sorry that you had such a hard experience!

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  54. Don't be too upset by what she said. Honestly, she sounds pretty mean and self-centered (just is an irony, considering that she thinks you are one). Just ignore her, and continue your day with a smile! Life's too short to dwell on the unhappy moments.

    And like what my mum always tells me, "we can't please everyone in the whole world."

    :)

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  55. Hi Alycia, my virtual hugs go out to you. I believe that in God's time you will not be bothered by it anymore. Remember, "Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them." (Dalai Lama)
    Maybe those mean girls were so unhappy with their lives that they can't help but to be mean because they feel worse inside. I also love what you said that if a person thinks that he doesn't like you then just stop seeing each other and MOVE ON. Know that in this side of the world there's someone who wants to be your friend and get to know what a sweet person you are.

    p.s. I love your blog. Keep inspiring others.xoxo

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    1. Thanks for sharing that quote Ron :) I love it. You are the sweetest!

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  56. I'm so sorry this happened to you. It really is hard to let go. When I was growing up, there was a girl in my ward who was not nice to me. Every week at church and activity days it was constant rude comments, cattiness, and ostracism from her. I remember the last Sunday I was there in 8th grade before we moved, we were talking about some hypothetical situation where one out of three people die of something... I seriously cannot remember specifics... Anyways this girl in front of the whole young women's says that I can be the one who dies. She laughed it off like a joke and so did everyone else. But it was the last straw for me. I cried in the hallway after church. One of the leaders asked what was wrong, but I was embarrassed so I said I was sad to leave the ward. Big fat lie, I couldn't wait to get out. After 7 or 8 years of rudeness I was finally away from her. And now here I am married to my husband in the temple and she has dropped out of school and is dating some guy who didn't go on a mission. Not to be rude but I'm like tsk tsk cuz she really hurt me during my childhood. Anyways. Wow. Sorry for the story haha. Don't worry about the dumb GIRLS. Good riddance to those immature bloggers! You are strong and awesome :)

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  57. I just had to say that I completely understand the feeling of feeling really insecure when meeting new people - I am the same exact way. I am definitely a people pleaser and I just want everyone to like me and I feel like I can be completely awkward with new people sometimes.
    I am so sorry you had to deal with such silly drama - it's so silly that as grown women we are still dealing with this kind of nonsense.
    You seem like a total sweetheart and I would definitely be friends with you & eat boxed waffles with you!

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  58. I'm SO sorry! I've had similar issues with girls all throughout my life, no matter how nice I am to them. One group thought it would be fun to passively-aggressively tweet about me. After I posted a photo of a new dress, one of them wrote how they hated that style of dress. Coincidence? I think not. It shows their immaturity and it's sad. Keep your head up :)

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  59. Your response to that should have been: "@jealous woman who barely knows me...kindly blow me."

    You're life is better without these games. This girl just wanted to seem like a "hero" so she drew attention to *herself.* She needs to frack right off and live her own life.

    The best way to let it go? Acknowledge that you are mad that she hurt you and let karma get her. Outside of this, these "women" are clearly just over grown children creating their own little bubbles of drama filled with their own drama.

    Also, talking about things is cathartic, part of why it still bothers you is because you hadn't talked it out to someone else.

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  60. Hi Alycia! I know I don't comment very often, and I also realize that everyone else has already commented for you here :) BUT I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your feelings. And, these "women" who attacked you publicly are pathetic. Usually it's because THEY are insecure so they bully and attack others. They have probably done it their entire lives. And they probably grew up being that way and getting that example from their parents.

    I have experienced similar instances in the past - and it HURTS! Unfortunately it never 100% goes away. On the one hand you can move on and be stronger, have more self esteem, and realize that they are petty and jealous, but in the end it will still be awkward to see them online, run into them in person, and in general know that there is someone out there that thinks this way about you.

    The hardest part is that as I've gotten older I have become more cynical and started to assume this way about everyone I meet - as you said you feel now whenever you meet someone new you immediately wonder if they're judging you! It's why I am so grateful for the gospel and the brethren. Every time they talk at general conference I hear what Heavenly Father REALLY thinks and how we should REALLY act. And those people who don't have anything better to do than to pick on another, are missing out on the CHARITY that they should really be striving to develop.

    Haters gonna hate. You are amazing and beautiful and anyone would be lucky to be your friend. It's still going to suck sometimes! But they are the ones who will end up with a harsh awakening someday. Keep on, keeping on!

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  61. You, with your words like knives
    And swords and weapons that you use against me
    You have knocked me off my feet again
    Got me feeling like I'm nothing
    You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard
    Calling me out when I'm wounded
    You picking on the weaker man

    You can take me down with just one single blow
    But you don't know, what you don't know...

    Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city
    And all you're ever gonna be is mean
    Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
    And all you're ever gonna be is mean
    Why you gotta be so mean?

    Taylor Swift said it best.

    Hang in there. I love your blog and think you are fabulous. I teach middle school and this is the same behavior I see from students who are 12. Surround yourself with people who make you feel better- not those who bring you down.

    xo

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  62. Oh. My. Gosh. I totally felt like bursting into tears as I read this story! What horrible, mean, awful girls!! You seem like such a nice person and you really put yourself out there in trying to get to know someone with similar interests, even to the point of inviting them to your home and preparing a meal for them! I would feel so special if someone did that to me... I and I would eat the damn waffles with a smile on my face, even if they were raw!

    I'm sure you already know this, and it doesn't really take the sting away, but you definitely don't want those girls in your life. It's still so unbelievable to me that there are real life "mean girls" out there, especially at our age. I'm dealing with a "meal girl" situation myself right now and I think about it all the time... dwell on it to the point that it consumes me.

    It's hard to let go of stuff that is so hurtful and personal.

    You are very brave for putting this out there, and I hope sharing it has helped you unload some of the baggage from it. Because you seem fantastic to me and I'd be up for Zumba and boxed waffles any time! ;-)

    Sarah @ Life As Always

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  63. since i know you in real life and know that you are the sweetest person, this makes me really sad. you did have a great group of friends in high school and i always remember feeling slightly jealous that you had this great group of girls. and seriously people teased your sister? she's gorgeous and super nice! plus she had alex there to stick up for her. (wish my big brother was that cool!) when you come back to san diego, i would be down to hangout! and i talk too much when nervous too! i am always so nervous when meeting new people but i already know you!

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    1. Yeah, people were horrible to my sister because of her hearing loss and learning disability. High school was A LOT better for her because she had Alex there to watch out for her. He was popular and had a ton of friends, and he would make sure people weren't bugging her :) He is the sweetest. Thanks for your sweet comment :) We def need to get together next time I am down in SD!!! P.S. My friends from high school are still my CLOSEST friends. Your welcome to hang out with us anytime! We always get together when we are home!

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  64. Betrayal is one of the most hurtful things humans can do to each other. It is so difficult to understand why anyone finds pleasure in it, but there are people who do, unfortunately you found two of them. I have seen betrayal in many forms in my lifetime, from husbands and wives, mothers to children, children to parents, etc... You have to remember that this is a flaw (albeit a major flaw) in their character and not yours. It is their cross to bear and if you did nothing wrong and I don't see that you did, then they are the ones who are wrong. It is in no way a reflection of you or your character. However it is a reflection of theirs. Let it go and let it be a lesson to you that all people unfortunately are not to be trusted with your friendship, love or respect. Most of the time these types react out of jealousy. You have a lot going great for you as I have seen from being a longtime reader of your blog. Hold your head high, think of this no more and soldier on girl! :)

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  66. Hello Alycia! This story breaks my heart. I don't know you in real life. just by blogging. But it would be so nice to meet someone with a kind heart like you. Ive been reading your blog for a long time. I have only been blogging for around a year or more...
    I was very sick and out of work one time and you left me a comment telling me hope i feel better. That little comment might a lot to me because I was very down at that time. thank you. Also you comment on my son and that means so much also. Those girls would be blessed to have someone like in there life. There not worth it.. If I WAS there I would love to go to Zumba Class with you...:O)
    Things like that hurt me, I had a friend and we became very close and i went to her families house all the time.. She moved away and we meet up for work and she acted like we never where close and did not really talk to me. COME to find out I was annoying to her. I was blindsided. I never have trouble with anymore. I'm so nice.. So the point is it just takes time to get over the hurt but you know in your heart you are a good person... THANK YOU AGAIN FOR YOU SWEET COMMENTS :o)

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    1. I am happy to hear that you got that comment at the right time :) Always nice to know people care! Thanks for your sweet comment.

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  67. I hope you can see from all these responses that you are so much more than those mean girls saw! This made me so sad to read, as it always breaks my heart when grown women act as immature, teenage girls.

    I can definitely say this would have broken my heart, as my heart is broken for you...but know that you are beautiful, inside & out!

    & seriously...BOXED WAFFLES are the best!

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    1. I am indeed feeling the love Lauren :) &yes, I like AL KINDS of waffles!!!

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  68. AlyciA darling! That was so stupid, immature, and uncalled for of them. Lame lame lame! It hurts my heart that you are letting it still affect you. You are happy, beautiful and successful.! Obviously they are missing all or some of those things to hate on you so hard. And don't forget, we recently met for the first time (and now we are co workers and friends) and you were definitely a cool chick! So don't be nervous about meeting new people anymore because you are great at it!

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  69. Alycia, those girls were LAME! I love you!!!

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  70. I have some sympathy for you, honestly I do. However I believe that you are just as much in the wrong as the other girls were. I am not perfect, I am far from it so obviously I make mistakes (along with everyone else). I can't imagine having something that I had done wrong plastered on the internet for the world to read and to not only have you criticize and judge for the wrong of it, but the rest of these 116 comments-the internet. I believe this post to be begging for comments and sympathy from people, and extremely petty and immature of you, especially to make an extremely long blog post calling her out on it for the world to see. To be more mature about things, this would have been a great letter to send to HER, NOT THE WORLD. I find it really disappointing. Good luck with your "girl drama", may we all hope this petty post resolves it.

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    1. I see where you are coming from to a degree, however, the point of this post was not to say what "she did wrong" it was to address how a certain incident affected me personally, and the aftermath of that. I was looking for a way to move forward with the help of those I connect with here online. Looking for help with how to not be so paranoid about meeting new people. I wrote about this story because I use my blog to sort out my thoughts, feelings and opinions.

      I actually did write TO HER about my thoughts and feelings and was not met with kind words. I feel like I have used discretion in this post and there is no way this person would feel like I have "exposed" them in anyway. I am simply relaying an incident that happened to me. What would be cruel would be to post names, and share private e-mails that were sent back and forth.

      "I can't imagine having something that I had done wrong plastered on the internet for the world to read and to not only have you criticize and judge for the wrong of it, but the rest of these 116 comments-the internet."

      In response to this...since this girl does not like me, I couldn't imagine she is still reading my blog a year after the incident. So with that, I can't imagine she feels anything about it, and from the e-mail exchanges it is pretty evident she doesn't feel like she did anything wrong, so I don't think that is an issue.

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    2. McKenzie, it seems to me that no matter what Alycia writes, she has no trouble getting comments...and aren't you critizing and judging now too?

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    3. McKenzie, this makes me totally sad to read your negative comment. I feel that anyone who has a blog has every right to write about and post what they feel. And I truly think Alycia posted this in thee nicest way she could. And I really do feel that with her sharing this post that it could potentially help others that may be going through bullying or something similar. If you truly knew her heart and intentions than I feel that you would not feel this way. I just don't see how people feel it appropriate or helpful to post negative comments, if you don't like what you are reading than you don't have to read. Negative comments only come from negative places, and I hope you are able to find more love & peace in your heart.

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  71. I have no idea if you read all these comments. There are a ton. Clearly, you have so many people that care about you and your feelings.

    Just so you know, I look up to you so much. There are probably 3 select bloggers I would LOVE to be like someday. And you, my dear, are one of them. I can't believe this happened! I would have reacted the same way! Heck, I would have a hard time meeting people too.

    There are going to be rude people. There are going to be ruthless and heartless people out there. And it's just going to happen. I'm so sorry you've had to deal with trying to see if you can trust people or not. Either way, I hope you know you are loved by so many. Including me. And that you should be yourself. If people don't like who you are, that is THEIR problem. Don't feel bad for it. Just be your sweet little self & 99% of people will just adore you.

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    1. I read every single comment :) And this was one of the sweetest ones. I have been blown away by the responses I have received via e-mails, comments, texts, &tweets. I feel the love and it means a lot to me! So THANK YOU Amanda.

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  72. I felt/feel the same way right now with friends in my new town. Thankfully nothing terrible has come of it, but they are all moving away! It is hard to make new friends. If I am ever in your neck of the woods, or you in mine, we shall have some waffles! :-)

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  73. I know I don't know you, but I have been keeping up with your blog for a bit now. You're just so stinkin' cute! I can't imagine having to go through this. I'm not even new in the city I live in, just a college super senior finishing up classes and living in the college town for the summer and it seems like everyone is leaving or getting married. I totally respect your boldness and going out of your way to try to make friends. It's just sad that it had to be that way and it's also discouraging.

    I think we all have been through that at some point and I am certainly one to second guess myself and sometimes I don't talk enough because I don't want to seem like I am talking about myself too much, but then people perceive me as quiet and not crazy and not all that fun. I hope, though, that God does provide you some fun and crazy friends. Those people weren't the kind of friends worth having anyway.

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    1. Thankfully I do have a lot of fun and crazy friends! I have met some great people since moving to Provo! This experience has just made it harder for me when I do meet new people. For the most part I think I am myself, but I now question and second guess everything I say to people, I wonder what they are thinking of me... so annoying since I have never had a problem like this before! I know it will get better with time :)

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  74. Alycia, I had a hard time with friends ever since 5th grade. They were brutally mean to me. And it was really rough! I got out of high school though and it felt like for the most part mean girl problems were over. If someone didn't like me they acted the more mature way. But recently I have had to deal with a mean girl, and I think it hurts more once you're out of the teenage stage! You expect people to be more understanding and mature. But when a grown woman is being outwardly rude to you, it makes you very insecure! Unfortunately it's something that I'm probably always going to worry about. But I've truly found that telling my insecurities and the things that happen with mean girls to my husband, family members, and especially bestest friends who get you, my confidence comes out. And I can handle those situations far better remembering that the things some people may not like about me, the people who matter love those things. And I wish I could Zumba and eat pancakes with you.

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    1. So true about it hurting more when your older, maybe it's just more shocking? I think it always hurts when people are rude or mean. And it's true how you gain confidence from your loved ones :)

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  75. Wow this is seriously unreal. I'm sorry that happened to you especially after just putting yourself out there. I'm sorry after all this time it is still bothering you.
    I still hope for the day that I meet you! You seem so nice and sincere.
    xo

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  76. Sorry about the girl drama! I have had more than my share growing up, but not so much now in my twenties. I think that comment from Mckenzie above is pretty harsh, but I do think it's a good point that you could regret some of this post at some future point (like in a situation where the girls read it and/or you found out more about their backstory and why they may have acted the way they did?)

    I hope you can forget what happened though. Girls and silly comments like that are a dime a dozen and it's not worth your time. I think it is so easy for people to forget to be kind online since you don't have to see the emotions in their face/body language. Good luck in any new friend making ventures. Love yourself and be confident! I have noticed that if you truly take the time to get to know someone, no matter what you originally thought of them, you can almost always grow to love them, once you know more about them. Awesome lesson from visiting teaching ;) If they didn't like you they just really didn't get to know you and Vice Versa, although, not for a lack of trying on your part.

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    1. Thing is, even if I did learn more about their back story, it doesn't change how I felt in their treatment. It wouldn't excuse their behavior. This is my personal blog and don't feel like I should hold back on sharing an experience in my life, especially since non of this information is new to the person it happened with. I would honestly be shocked to see her still reading my blog anyways. I actually did really like these girls, which is why the whole situation came as a shock. I even wrote them saying I liked them alot and was sad they felt that way. But your are right in me needing to forget it. It isn't so much about the incident, I have moved past what they did, it's getting to the point where my behavior isn't so affected when meeting new people that is the problem.

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  77. I'm so sorry you went through this. :( Unfortunately the world is full of these kinds of people, so we have to learn how to deal with them. And you are doing a fantastic job of that! You're awesome, and anyone who thinks otherwise is crazy.

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    1. Well thanks, but I don't think I am doing a fantastic job at it, that's the point hahaha But thanks for your confidence! I just need to worry less about if people like me or not, and just be myself and be kind. Yours and several other comments have helped me really drill that into my brain! :)

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  78. So sorry this happened to you! That's just plain cruel! I think you're great, and that your blog is great, you can tell a lot about someone by the way they write and I definitely don't think your self centered, but I do think you're kind and genuine, and I love reading your blog!

    Shannon
    http://GBOfashion.com

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  79. I seriously cant believe this! Who says such rude things to someone who was nothing but nice? mind blown.
    I am the same way meeting new people and think all the same things, so youre not the only one! :)

    Lauren
    Sincerely Lo

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  80. I remember you telling me this story but I didn't realize how it affected you so much. I feel so bad that I wasn't there for you more or wasn't more supportive when this happened. And I especially feel bad that you had those feelings of loneliness and I was right there in Provo!! I should've reached out to you more but I'm so self conscious that I would talk myself out of it. I'm so so sorry you had to go through all that!! I have had too many experiences with mean girls, all growing up in elementary school, junior high, high school, and even now. It really does create this whole level of insecurity that even when you think you are doing you're best you are still second guessing everything you do and say for fear that someone else will be rude/call you out again. I don't wish those feelings on anyone, especially since they are some of the hardest to get over. I just wish I could hug you and eat ice cream and help you feel better after all this happened. You are an AMAZING girl and I truly, sincerely look up to you in many ways! Don't forget your TRUE worth :)

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    1. You were (and are) such a good friend to me when you lived in Provo! I do wish we had lived closer though! You are such a sweet heart and I'm sorry you have to deal with stuff like this since a young age. And yes, I need to focus more on my TRUE worth, because at the end of the day it is between me and God!

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  81. Thanks for opening up and sharing! I think it always helps to write about it. One thing I have learned from having mean girls in my life is it takes time to heal, but you will! And eventually those mean girls will come back and apologize for being horrible. The best thing you can do is be yourself and know it's all on them.
    Karma's a bitch (luckily for nice girls like you :). Don't let anyone take away your personality and friendliness, this world needs more people like you!

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  82. I am so sorry this happened to you. I feel like I could have written parts of this, only with slightly different circumstances. I kind of feel bitter towards humanity sometimes for the incredible lack of kindness and simple respect I see so often from individuals. I hate that I feel that way, because I have always been such a bubbly, outgoing person. But, I stopped putting myself out there recently for fear of meeting someone else that takes away a little piece of my self-respect.

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    1. Exactly. I think what I have learned the most from all of these comments is we can't fear putting ourselves out there because of the reaction. I feel like I know what my weaknesses and flaws are, and no one is perfect. If a good friend can't see I am a caring person just trying my best... well then, I should be able to move on without being so hurt over it, right? I think it just takes time to learn how to do that. Here is to us opening up more and not worrying so much :)

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  83. Hey, I didn't read this till your post today that linked to it. And I know lots of people have sent you love, but I just wanted you to know that I loved meeting you! You didn't talk to much about yourself. I love pancakes and waffles from a mix. And I think you're awesome!

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    1. haha Good to hear :) because I have been super self conscious about it since then! I loved meeting you too! Are you going to the picnic meet up tonight? I'd love to see you there.

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  84. Oh gracious! You are not being ultra sensitive. That is plain MEAN. I'm glad you could be honest and share this experience with us ladies because I think that unfortunately we have all experienced people that were less that kind and in unnecessary ways. Many hugs :)

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  85. Dearest "Ultra sensitive" Alyica
    Well, if that were to have been considered "super sensitive", then consider us fellow weenies. Where in the black hole of this corner of the world did that come from?
    How I see it, you had every right to see it as how you did.
    Being sensitive is good, great even. Letting go of being in touch with your emotions leads you to insensitivity toward the Spirit.
    sooooooooooooo, keep calm and stay sensitive?
    P.S. I saw you started following me on Instragram at school and went into total fangirling mode :}}}}
    <3 Bailey

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    1. haha fangirl mode, you kill me! Thank you. I feel like I have a pretty reasonable handle on sensitivity. I feel like it is such a balance because I feel like people should be in tune with others emotions even if they don't "feel" the same way as them. I loved your reference to the spirit, very true! People just need to be more charitable and caring all around. Even if I didn't think what I had said or done deserved someone getting upset over... if I hear they were, even if I didn't see how, I would reach out and try to comfort and understand.

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  86. Oh my goodness, that is ridiculous! Clearly, they are bad people who need to grow up. That's just ridiculous. Even if I went to a house and they made "bad" waffles and they talked too much (heck , I know i talk too much!) I wouldnt just drop them! Never! You seem like such a nice girl, from your writing and your vlogging videos so don't let those bullies hurt your feelings :( It's people like those girls who give girls a bad name!

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  87. You don't know me, but I totally understand your insecure feelings. I haven't had anything quite this mean done to me, but I worry so much about what people think of me. I freeze up when I meet someone new and don't really know what to say. Until I really get to know someone and they really get to know me, can I be myself. I totally know where you are coming from.

    I know this is easier said then done, since I can't do it myself, but you have to just try and not care what people think of you to an extent. Like I said, I struggle with this a whole lot, but I hope to someday be completely myself around people and if they don't like me, so be it.

    From what I can tell on this blog, you are a super cute girl. Just keep being who you are.

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    1. Thanks Caitlin! And yes you right about not caring what others think! I think there is a healthy balance of being able to recognize your flaws and work on them, but I shouldn't be paranoid all the time either!! Thanks for your sweet comment.

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  88. First off, I would totally give you thee BIGGEST hug and tell you it's OK! Sharing this story seriously takes a lot of courage and I adore you for that! I know I don't "know" know you but, from what I do know & how long I've followed you, and how many followers you have that adore you, I cannot even imagine how someone could treat you that way!? You just have this pure sweetness that shines from your pics & your posts!!

    But in all honesty women/girls are horrible to each other!! I have heard stories of how ruthless women can treat each other and wonder why men don't act that way, but we do?? But honestly, the only reasons for such behavior is usually because they are insecure, jealous, and/or have been going through a hard life. It's really sad that some people share that kind of behavior with others, you only hope that because you are a good and honest person nothing bad will come to you. But oh it does, and will. Sadly I guess that is just another test we have to endure, learn from, and hopefully gain something from it that helps us for another one, or to be able to help another who may be going through something similar. Maybe your incident happened so that you can help someone else out, maybe you taught those women the miracle of forgiveness and showed them compassion instead of more hate. Maybe you will never know why you went through that, but just know that know one can make you feel any less than you let them. I know it's easier said than done, but if we truly knew our worth like God knows it, we would be more secure and thee most happy people! I know that you can overcome this with God's help, it's the only way! He knows more than anyone what we feel and know's more than anyone how to make us feel better!

    Just think of it this way, when we get our heart broken it takes awhile for us to trust again or that we'll find love again, but if we don't take that leap of faith and try to find it again and trust others, than we are only keeping a potential happy relationship away from ourselves. Yes, you may be scared to make new friends, but just know that everyone is not like those women, and that there is always more good out there than the bad! And now you ARE more careful of what you share, and that is something valuable that you learned from this :) Good luck to you my friend, I know you can overcome this! Remember we are all stronger than we think, and God never gives us more than we can handle!!

    xoxo,
    Shio

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    1. Thanks for all of this Shio! I really did learn about being more careful about what I say. I feel like I am much more sensitive towards others then I ever was... and if it took this to happen to me for me to gain such an understanding, then I guess I can look at all of this as a positive.

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  89. So sorry to hear that this happened to you! What an awful thing to do to someone. Those girls should be ashamed of themselves. You certainly saw their true colors and it's unfortunate that it happened this way. Good riddance to them.

    Don't let their ugly actions lead you to believe that you are anything less than wonderful! I love your honesty and openness and am so happy you and Tearsa are such great friends! Keep being you and don't let anyone change that!

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    1. Tearsa is the best! I call us Kindred Spirits! I feel like Tearsa is on the of THE MOST genuine people I know, I am sure it runs in the family ;)

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  90. This is what I love about being married. When all your friends start to suck, you always have your husband to turn to!

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  91. girlfriend.
    and i'm sorry you had to go through that bitter experience.
    I think sometimes.. just sometimes... you have to learn to be ok with the fact that not everyone is going to like you. and that's ok.

    but dissing on you and your waffles via social media is completely uncalled for. these girls need to learn a little about empathy or the golden rule, treating others the way they want to be treated.
    it's plain in simple. they are not forced to hang out with you or like you, but there is no reason for them to get nasty and say such things to you. unless that's the type of treatment they want from others. which is highly doubtful. no human with emotions would want to be treated that poorly.

    i'm sure they have their reasons. but no reason is good enough to be down right mean like that.

    and as for feeling insecure? you can feel insecure, but don't let that lose your personality.

    xx

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    1. i wrote a novel, so i had to trim down certain parts. and some parts may not make sense. but just go with it. ;)

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    2. Sasha! I wrote a novel post so no worries with a long comment, I appreciate it! You said it exactly. I know people are not going to like me, I am sure there are a handful out there! HOWEVER, it was taking it a step further to talk about me online and say hurtful things. I don't understand why they couldn't just walk away from it all?

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  92. Something similar happened to me. It is just shocks me at how people can be this way towards others. And it's so hard when it has happened to you and you have no understanding of why it has happened. So sorry girl. It was so nice to meet you at the Gap event. You are super sweet!

    Jessica
    ncgrown.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks Jessica! Wish we had talked longer at that event!

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  93. I feel like at our age, it is so hard to meet genuine people that aren't out to beat us down.
    I've been in your boat, and feel for ya girl :(

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  94. I have loved all the advice you received. I believe I gave some the same advice to you :) I'm proud of how you wrote about this and what you've learned. I've always felt that you are a reasonable person with a good head on your shoulders and responses show that - especially where you responded to the one not so positive response - made me proud :) I do have to tell you though that if you ever make waffles when I come to visit I expect the Leavitt Waffle recipe not the box kind :) :) :) Love you!! xxoo

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  95. I'm a longtime reader, first time poster (I think). Any ways, I just wanted to say that stories like these break my heart. It's so horrible how women treat eachother, it just makes me sick. Growing up I was always the sensitive one and dealt with a lot of cattiness from other girls. As a result, I'm now almost 30 and still most of my friends are men. Try not to let it get you down and realize that it's a weakness with them, not you. Love your blog!

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    1. I have always had a lot of guy friends because girls can often be like this! Thankfully I have a lot of girlfriends that show me that not everyone is :) Like someone said, these kind of girls are the exception, not the rule!!

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  96. I have had a huge problem with this in Provo ever since I moved here. People (girls) are SO quick to judge you and make that judgement permanent. They refuse to keep an open mind about you and give you a second chance. Instead of keeping their negative thoughts about you to themselves, they have to talk about it with other people or be immature and post about it somewhere publicly. I really don't get it. and it is hard to get over! you shouldn't live life in fear everyday that you're saying the wrong thing or that you're giving off the wrong impression. BE YOU! if you are completely 100% yourself when you meet someone and they don't like you, then they never will. don't try so hard to act a certain way or say something if that's not who you are. I have had a VERY hard time making friends in Provo. Maybe it's the age, the culture, I don't know what. don't let them discourage you! you have your best friend for eternity, and you have your family. life may get lonely sometimes, especially right now while Trevor is away, but you're never alone! I'm sorry you went through this :/ <3

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    1. I am sad to hear you have had so many problems here in Provo Haleigh! Thanks for you sweet encouragement! You can hang out with me anytime! I have a great group of friends and we are all here in provo :)!

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  97. I am just reading this now- very behind. I wish I could share all of my thoughts on this subject with you, but as of right now I am very private about my experiences with mean girls. Let's just say that I had my taste of them for most of my adolescent life, and it is just plain hard. (But my goodness, I don't know how I would have coped if Facebook and Twitter etc existed back then!)I walked away from it with major insecurities, and like you, would feel paranoid when meeting new people. I am so sorry you had to experience that, and about what happened as a result. It breaks my heart to hear stories like this. One thing I have learned though, is that people who treat you that way are NOT worth it. We all have our flaws, but picking someone apart because of them is not ok. Thank you for sharing this story, in my opinion you are very brave! I don't know if I will ever be able to do that! Love how honest and real you are on your blog.

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  98. Just reading this bugged me. I'm sorry you had to go through all of this. I'm always super nervous meeting people just because I don't want to be judged because I don't dress as cute or whatever. Hence why I didn't come up and introduce myself at the Gap event.

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    1. So sad you didn't feel like you could come up and say hi!! Heck, half the time I am wearing sweats haha We should have lunch sometime :)

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  99. From what I read on you blog(you know since we've never met haha !), you have a good heart, you are sincere and you have good values. Like me, you always expect peoples to have good intentions, and that makes us fall so much harder when we get burn. Their comments were just mean. I think the way you reacted was very mature. Not everyone has to like everyone, but being mean and hurtful is just unnecessary ! I hate bullies and I think you are so courageous to speak out about it ! More the power to you, and shame on them !

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  100. ugh, i'm so sorry you had to go through that. And that those two girls were able to make you feel that way. I think you'll see from the giant response that you're not alone and those two cruel people are merely insecure themselves (i know that's hard to see in the moment).

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  101. i think its a beautiful thing when a blogger opens up and isn't afraid to be vulnerable. props to you for doing so!!

    i know what its like to have things bother me. i grew up a loner. i was bullied often and a blacksheep ten fold. ive been slandered in my family, friends, and from many in my ward that im presently in. (and people are still finding fault) im not new to this sort of thing at all nor am i a pro. just focus on what is in your control, turn it all to the lord, and move forward.

    those family members, friends, and those wierdos in my ward have all apologized. it came back a hundredfold and im grateful to just have moved on. i promise it will get better and its a trip when it does happen. it looks like youre doing the same! XOXOXO

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  102. I remember a few years ago when I started talking to this girl that I had known for a few years at that point but had barely ever said any words to. We surprisingly hit it off super well and became best friends. But then I heard from another friend that she had been trashing about me behind my back. I was SO heartbroken and was kind of in shock because I thought we were really good friends. She also apparently thought that I had told her parents some bad things that she had done (I had no clue what she was talking about) and I got so pissed. Why would she tell people that I had done that when I hadn't? I was sad for a few weeks and then slowly got over it. Then she texted me being all happy acting like nothing ever happened and I basically told her I wouldn't be friends with her, then I ended up forgiving her and got ditched for someone who she thought was better then me.

    I have spent some time reading your blog and I think you are a truly sincere person.

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  103. You are a doll! Sorry that had to happen to you :) It blows my mind that people feel the need to say passive aggressive things via social media. Cowardly much? Just know you seem like a total sweetheart and you just keep being you :)

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  104. I love love love almost everything about blogging, twitter, social media, etc except this part. The mean part really breaks my heart. I try to be really aware of my comments, tweets, etc. and I sincerely I hope I never ever hurt someone's feelings because of something I say.

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  105. Oh girl! Those two mean girls better be glad that I don't live there and I wasn't related to you or your friend at the time.. or on your twitter! I would have served them a nice bowl of "shut your social media face"! hehe.. I can totally relate to the way you feel. I have been through it all-- it started early for me, in grade school. I was always the tall, fat girl. I struggled with it all the way to high school when my parents had to put me in a private school. Sadly, that kind of "ugly" exists in grown adults and it makes me sick. I hate that you had to go through it but what I really hate is that I wasn't there to kick those two wenches' butts for you!! xoxo

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  106. ooohhhh!!! Girrrrrrrrrrrrllllllll.. I just read this.. I WISH I had read it sooner so I could say, "BE YOURSELF!!!"... the honesty you put into this blog has got to be a reflection of the person you are.. I know I don't know you personally ( and If you met me, you'd probably be the one whose like, "Nice waffles.. not!!) but girrrrrl... I swear.. I am so jealous of your honesty and the support that you give to so many people... its one thing to insult your comments.. but your waffles??? that is just RUDE!!!!

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  107. I can completely identify with you - I talk too much most of the time, especially when I'm nervous. I had a similar situation with something I posted about Hurricane Sandy (I was mad about how much of the limelight that NYC was getting when the majority of the damage was to the coastal area) and a "girlfriend" from the coastal area of NJ took it the wrong way & responded similarly to the blogger friend of yours. I don't understand the "mean girls" in today's society. There are enough people in this world that if you don't like me, MOVE ON!

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  108. Oh.. wow... I've just come to this post... I know it's too late and it already has 185 comments...
    But still.... I read every word of that... Why?? Cuz I could totally see myself... I know that I would react same very way... I know that I would feel the same...
    I could probably share my own little stories but that's probably not the best thing right now =))))

    I'll just say that my youth wasn't easy at all... cuz I was so much affected by people around me.. some laughed at me for the clothes I wore...some told me how ugly I was... I was hurt so many times when I got to be best friends with someone... And then they jusy went out of my life... Some of them in a very rude way.. Some of them just went their own way in life...

    There are tons of moments in my life that changed me... That made me feel so insecure and so unconfident in myself.. More than anything I want to forget them... But it just doesn't work for me... Back from that moment when I was 5 to now...

    But still... I realized it's getting easier with every year.. It's getting easier when you surround yourself with people that truely care about you.... that make your heart get healed...
    The most important one is my husband...
    Once you have one... nothing else seems to matter that much =)))) Cuz he'll still love you and be your best friend =))))
    And that's what helps me most of all...

    And oh....when smth like this happens I also like to think "They are just jealous" or "They just have nothing else to talk about cuz their lifes are boring" =)))))))))))))))

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  109. So this is an old post and I'm not sure that you'll ever see this, but I just want to let you know that you are NOT overly sensitive. That is a lie bullies tell. They purposely want to make you feel like you are overreacting to their bad behavior. It's one of many ways that they invalidate your feelings and attempt to break you down.

    I'm glad you didn't end up being friends with those girls. Sounds like they need to go back to high school where they belong. I guess Tina Fey's message in Mean Girls was a little too complicated for them. Ha!

    http://www.livingingenuity.com

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  110. This blog broke my heart that someone would ever say that to you.... I don't know you personally, I just follow your blog and Instagram like most people here, but this made me feel like I know you on a different level. I'm so sorry that someone treated you in such a way. It literally breaks my heart how ruthless some people can be. But I think you handled it in a way that anyone should, a good cry. I know that I don't know you personally, but I just want to say that you don't deserve to be treated like that. You seem like one of the nicest most genuine people ever. I know that this is probably sounding really generic and something like all of your other loving followers have said, but truly, just know that you are loved more than anything. Loved by your husband, your father in Heaven, your family, and even strangers all over the world. I'm not even sure if this came out like I wanted it to, or if it even makes sense, but I just wanted to say something. We love you Alycia!

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  111. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  116. Henderson Elizabeth
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  117. How to Get an Ex Back
    My boyfriend broke up with me its been 4 days now. We have been dating sense he was 18 and I was 22. She has just know turned 21. We have been dating for 3 years and 2 and half months. Through the years we have had a really good relationship it was serious and we really wanted to be with each other forever. Of course we had are arguments but nothing too bad. I know that these past 3 months I had taken him for granted thinking he would always be there but was wrong. he told me he didn’t want to be in a relationship that he wanted to take time with himself. But he was still kissin me and hugging me and telling me that he will always love me and I hold a special place in her heart. I realized that right before he done this that I needed to get my act together but I guess was too late. I really love this boy there is something different about him he is the love of my life and I want us to have a better relationship then ever before and I wouldn’t ever take him for granted ever again I really do want to marry this boy and he wanted that too but idk how to get him back with out being clingy and desperate. Obviously he needs his space because he cheated on me and this time I really need help to bring him back and marry me, one day i was searching online and i saw a good testimony of how Dr Joy a real Africa spell caster help to restored back broken marriage, getting ex back, fix broken relationship. so i copy his email via??? joylovespell@gmail.com and told him all my problems so he ask me not to worry that my problem are solve that with 2 days, i will get him back which i believe in and put all my hope on and to my greatest notice, after the spell my boyfriend who broke up with me gave me a call to apology and feel so sorry for what he did so my dear ones that is how i got my boyfriend back with the help of Dr joy the real spell caster so also email him now on via joylovespell@gmail.com????

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