Why I can't stand behind my sisters regarding Ordain Women...

Every so often I talk about my faith on my blog. I know a lot of you who read here might not care for these types of posts, but this blog has always been my space for my interests, passions, and thoughts. So please disregard this if talking religion isn't your thing... 

 

Growing up I have always questioned. My father and I used to stay up into the wee hours of the morning discussing faith, the universe and the eternities. I am sure we would have stayed up all night long if it hadn't been for my mother eventually making us go to bed. Being raised Mormon added a lot of questions to my conversations with my father. I have never been the type to blindly follow anything or anyone. If I don't know why I am doing something, or if I don't have a strong conviction of it, it is difficult for me practice something let alone believe in it. Oh how I have tested the waters and my faith.

 

Being a woman in the LDS Church you often get met with several remarks. I must not have a mind of my own, how can I be apart of my Church that treats women so badly? I have often wondered what Church these people are talking about? Over the last year we have seen women in the Church come forward upset. My heart does go out to them, but to be perfectly honest I can't relate. Oh yes, I agree there are many things I think the Church could improve upon. We as an organization are far from perfect. I can empathize with a lot of what my sisters in the Church say, and we could go into a deep discussion about those I am sure... yet I can't wrap my mind around the Ordain Women "movement" if you will.

 

I consider myself a feminist. Yet with that said I can acknowledge that there will always be differences between men and women. Heck, there are such vast differences between us women, how could I expect all of us to be the same? I think that is the problem here. People are so set on things being equal when I think what they really want is everything to be identical. I am all for equality when it comes to human rights, but there are grey areas where things just never will be equal or shall I say be identical. There is a reason they often separate women and men in sports. It isn't that there can't be women who are just as fast and strong as men, but that more often than not, a man is just genetically going to be bigger and stronger than a woman.

 

Ordain Woman believe there is not gender equality in the Church. Like I said, I have some opinions on things we could do better. In fact, I have an ever growing list of things we could be doing differently and most of them derive from our behavior and the culture that has grown and taken over our congregations. Yet, when it comes to doctrine and the core beliefs of the Church, I can't get on the same page with my sisters. I consider myself open minded, and progressive, and have thought long and hard about why this whole thing has rubbed me the wrong way.

 

 

There are two reasons I can't get behind my sister's on this one...

 

Without getting into too many details, as we like to keep what we do in the Temple sacred... any woman who has been through the Temple, knows where and how women hold the priesthood.

 

and secondly,

 

The LDS Church is NOT a religious democracy. It is a fundamental aspect of the faith to believe in a Prophet, seer, and revelator. While I do believe we can approach our Heavenly Father and our Church leaders with questions and concerns, we do not demand, petition, or push our own way of ideas to make change when it comes to doctrine or the Prophet's revelation.

 

  

Maybe someday when the time is right, the Lord's timing, there will be the power of the priesthood for women in the same way men hold it. Or maybe it is something for us to practice more fully in the after life. I don't know? I don't have the answers. But I do know that when it comes to the LDS Church, there is a fine line between culture and doctrine. Until then, I believe there is nothing stronger than a sincere prayer to my Heavenly Father, and don't feel like I am missing out on any kind of blessings because I don't hold the priesthood in the same capacity as men do at Church. What matters to me is knowing that man and woman, though different, are equals before the Lord.

 

While I may not agree with the way Kate Kelly has handled herself, no member likes to see another excommunicated. I truly hope she can find solace. I fully understand how difficult it can be to cope with a religion that has been such a huge part of your life while having questions with fundamental values of that faith. It is a feeling that can truly be the weight of the world. From experience, I recommend prayer. So much prayer. Focus on your relationship with God, first and foremost.

New Beginngs

Have you ever heard the duck analogy? Have you ever seen a duck pass through water?  The duck glides across the pond and maintains this beautiful calmness. But underneath the water little webbed feet and gangly legs flap frantically as it propels itself towards the next breadcrumb. What an incredible illusion. The duck has no aggressive exhaling, and no sense of struggle when you look at him, but underneath that surface is the truth.

Right now I feel like that duck. Spring is often associated to new beginnings and I have a lot of those going on in all the areas of my life right now. Being totally honest I am having a hard time managing it all, but I am also so excited for the many changes going on. Like that duck, I am trying to maintain my composure while amidst a lot of crazy going on underneath the surface. You know how they say when it rains it pours? That is what is happening right now, but with a twist. All of it is GOOD news, GOOD changes, but having it all happen at once is causing me to have a hard time keeping up with everything that comes along with those changes. Even with the stress that is coming along with all of these changes, I can't help but feel so incredibly blessed.

I am so grateful for all the many blessings God has bestowed upon me and my family. On this particular day, Easter, I can't help but be so thankful for the Atonement and the opportunity I have to start again, and again. The opportunity I have to learn, change, and grow - All because of Him.

This week marks several new beginnings for me and Trevor, and I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for us.

A few months ago I had the opportunity to attend a conference held by my Church for those of us involved in the world of Social Media. They wanted our insight and opinions on some different collateral they were planning and putting together for Mormon.org While at this conference they shared a video they had put together for Easter Sunday. It brought me to tears then, and it brings me to tears now. I know not everyone who reads my blog is even religious, but this is an important aspect of my life, and I would love to share it with you on this beautiful Easter Sabbath.

a forever family...

This was taken at some point during the trip and I just love it :)

The whole reason we all made the big trip to Canada was to see my nephew Cameron get sealed to my sister's family. He is the sweetest boy, and his disposition is like no other child's I have ever been around. He makes me happier just being around him, and I can't really find the words to express just how blessed I feel to have him be in our family. It is like this missing piece I didn't know we had missing.

 My sister Kira and her family!

 GAH I LOVE HIM!!!!

I have had the opportunity to be in the temple now for two family sealings like this, and it is by far one of the most spiritual experiences I have ever had. There is so much love for this little boy!

After the temple we headed over with family and friends to one of my family's favorite spots to eat in Calgary, Peters Drive In! We enjoyed each others company while sipping shakes, and stuffing our faces with fries. It was a great way to end such a special afternoon with family and friends.

  

Do you think Landon enjoyed his Ketchup or what?

on being raised mormon...

just before i moved away for college

I have begun to talk more openly about my religion on my blog. Obviously I don't hide it or anything, and I have the ever so common "we believe" button on my side bar that you find among Mormon bloggers. The whole point of this blog is to have a place to share about my life and thoughts. Since I have loved being apart of these types of conversations on other blogs, I figured, why not talk about it? I mean, it is a massive part of my life.

Growing up in a bedroom community of San Diego, there were only a handful of us Mormon kids at school. Usually we already knew each other from church, but if for some reason we didn't, you could usually spot each other in a crowd. There are some stereotypical things that can give Mormons away you know, things you can see appearance wise.

If a guy is wearing a BYU sweatshirt, I have a hunch he has some connection to the LDS Church. Girls are the easiest to spot though. For example, if I saw a girl wearing shorts to her knees, it was usually an indicator she was Mormon. Her shoulders would be covered, and you would never see her wearing the ever so popular "spaghetti straps" that plagued the late 90's and early 2000's.

I remember the first time I felt embarrassed about being a Mormon. I was in middle school and there was a boy who knew I was a Mormon. It isn't like I hid the fact that I was Mormon, but I didn't go shouting it off the roof tops at school either. Once this boy figured it out though, he started teasing me. Every time he saw me he would make a remark. I remember every time I had a class with him I would be horrified to hear what he was going to say to me that day, how he would try and embarrass me. He always did it front of a big group of people. Sad thing is, this boy did this throughout middle school and it continued through out high school as well. 

For whatever reason, he didn't like Mormons, and he was going to let me know that every chance he got. Thankfully I have a strong personality, and I always had a ton of friends throughout school, so for the most part I didn't let it get to me, or let him know it go to me. He wasn't the only one who made fun of me about being Mormon, but he was by the far the worse and the most relentless.

When the people around you think your beliefs are strange or don't understand it, you tend to react in several different ways. You try to hide the fact that you are odd, or you can wear that "odd sticker" with pride and try and tell everyone how cool you really are and try to convince them, or you just live your life in peace with who you are and don't care what others think, or you start to question yourself and who you are, and what you really believe in. Sometimes you do all of the above.

In my life, I have done all of those things. I have been embarrassed to be Mormon, I have been proud, I have been happy, I have been sad, I have been indifferent. All of these emotions were essential to my conversion to the religion. I am sure all people have experienced some form of persecution for their beliefs, religious or not, and can understand the massive amount of emotions that can be tied to that.

I have always asked a lot of questions. I still do to this day. Growing up I asked a lot of questions about the religion I was being raised in, and for the most part I always felt comfortable with the answers I received. But when you are young and impressionable, and you have people teasing you about what you belief in, it challenges your beliefs. I am grateful for these challenges because it caused me to question and analyze what I actually believed in much sooner then I probably would have naturally.

I believe my path to finding my testimony and deciding to live a Mormon lifestyle wasn't always the easiest, but I also don't think I had as many challenges as other people may face either. I used to think, "am I the only one who struggles with this? Why is it so easy for everyone else?" It was easy to look at others who portray such a confidence in their testimony and think that everyone has got it pulled together and you don't. Obviously we all face difficulties, and we don't always share that. But it can be hard to remember that when you are going through a challenging time.

Growing up Mormon as a child was nothing short of magical, but as I entered into my teens and had everything I was ever taught challenged, I had to make my own choice as to what I believed in, and no one could do that for me. I have never felt truly alone in my life because I have always felt the presence of my Heavenly Father, but there were a few years there where alone and tormented would be the best way to describe the inner struggle that I faced when learning and trying to make decisions that would impact the rest of my life.


  

bikinis and diet coke... a long post about mormons...

Our wedding day in front of the San Diego Temple where we were married :)

If you read my blog you would know that I am Mormon. I have the ever so common "we believe" button on my blog that bloggers link to, and I have talked about being a Mormon a little bit on my blog before. Heck, my husband goes to BYU Law School, if it wasn't obvious enough that we are Mormons!

If you haven't noticed there are a lot of Mormon bloggers. Because of this, I often see people asking questions about certain bloggers who are Mormon in regards to their faith. I can only imagine how confusing some things must be or seem if you don't know the culture or certain aspects of this faith.

I constantly see people asking questions about Mormons online and I always want to answer them, especially the ones that are based on Mormon culture.

So first things first, why do so many Mormons have a blog? What is up with that?

I have often wondered this myself! First and foremost, I do not write this blog to "convert" others to my faith, which is something that is often suggested about Mormon bloggers. I blog about my life, and a big part of my life happens to be that I am Mormon. Considering just how big of a role it plays in my life, I am surprised I don't write about it more.

I feel like there are many reasons why there are so many Mormon bloggers out there. Mormons are taught from a young age to value journaling and documenting your history and life. I feel like the younger generation has taken those values and applied it to the modern world of social media. Blogging is a form of journal keeping, and using the internet is really relatable to the younger generations such as myself. This is why I personally love to blog.

I have read other blogger's say one reason they have a blog is because of a church leader (Elder Ballard) who publicly encouraged the Church members to participate in the growing online discussion about the Church.

Other then those reasons, I have no idea why there seems to be so many Mormon Bloggers out there! I am as lost as you!

So now that, that is out of the way I thought I would dive into some of the questions I have seen about Mormons floating around online that I am itching to put my two cents on. I would like to add that I am not trying to do anything here but give you some information on the Church and the culture of the Church based on my experiences as being raised LDS and being an active member in the Church today. Again, this is MY opinion as an LDS member.

First off "Mormon" is a nick name. The Church is actually called The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We have the Book of Mormon (another testament of Jesus Christ) which is where the "Mormon" nick name comes from.

Growing up outside of Utah as a Mormon is a different experience then growing up in Utah as one. If you are really behind, Utah is home to A TON of Mormons. With that said, not everyone who lives here is Mormon. I have a lot of non member friends here who hate getting asked "are you Mormon?" the second they tell someone they are from Utah, haha. I have talked all about the term "Utah Mormon" on my blog here.

Growing up in San Diego, most of my friends were not LDS (another nickname for our Church). One of my family's really good friends like to call our family "Normans" basically saying that we were Normal Mormons, and not the "crazy" kind.

Let's just be honest. Every religion, group, community etc. is made up of all different kinds of personalities and people. I don't think a whole organization should be judged based on the way one person acts (que radical Muslims) however people DO. With that said, I don't consider myself a very conservative Mormon, nor do I consider myself a liberal Mormon. So that is where my perspective is coming from in answering some of these common questions I have seen lately about Mormons.

MORMONS AND MODESTY - Wait, she is wearing a Bikini?! I thought she was Mormon!

Oh Mormons and modesty, the number one question online about Mormon Bloggers. Especially Mormon Fashion Bloggers. From a young age we are taught to be modest in our dress. We are encouraged to dress modestly at a young age in preparation to wear Temple Garments someday (I will get to those next). This means, in part, to avoid wearing clothing that is too revealing or extreme. Modesty rules apply to both men and women. Both genders are expected to properly cover their bodies. The Mormon Church has made it pretty clear what their guidelines for modesty are. One thing I love about my faith, is that we are more progressive then some might think. The Church believes in teaching correct principles, and then letting the members "govern themselves."

Because of this, you will see some Mormons who wear bikinis, and other's who don't. I will always remember when people attacked Elaine from Clothed Much because she wore a bikini on vacation. Elaine is a well known Modest Fashion Blogger, emphasis on the Modest. So when she posted pictures in a bikini, it was as if everyone felt she had broken the main rules and foundation of her blog.

Where do I even start with the Bikini topic within our religion. No where in any official Church statements regarding modesty does the Church even address swimwear (if you know of anything that has, PLEASE share it with me). If people want to live the gospel to the "letter of the law" then they wouldn't even be "allowed" to wear swimsuits at all! The modesty guidelines set by the Church do not talk about swim wear, so where people got the idea that wearing a Bikini as a Mormon is a NO NO, just fascinates me. It is culturally derived.

It is culturally accepted that you shouldn't wear a bikini within our Church. Now is a one piece probably more modest then a bikini, sure, I guess it is, or should I say it CAN be. I am very flat chested and so for me I feel like a bikini is just as modest as a one piece. You will never see me with my "chest" hanging out because I don't have one! I have seen some incredibly revealing one pieces, those monokinis, or super low plunging necklines on your one piece doesn't all of a sudden make your swim suit more modest then my bandeau bikini top!

What's the difference between a one piece and a two piece? Showing your stomach? To be honest I don't see what is so revealing about my belly button, heck, most of us women want to COVER our bellies!! For me personally modesty in swim wear has more to do with covering up your cha chas. But some women can't even help that, if they are heavily endowed sometimes no swim suit in the world will keep those in, and so what, they are supposed to wear a shirt over themselves when they go to the pool?

There are some things the Church has come right out and made very distinct decisions about, others they haven't. Swimwear is one of them. So the idea that "Mormons can't wear two piece swimsuits" just annoys me and is a very prevalent idea within the culture of the religion.

MORMONS AND THEIR UNDERWEAR - What is all this talk about "magical" underwear?! 

Garments are the basis of where dressing modestly in the Mormon Church comes from. Garments have many purposes to us, they are a reminder of the promises and covenants we make in the Temple. They are also a way for us to remember to keep our bodies modest. We believe they are sacred, and that is where the word "magic" has come up from people who don't understand them. Garments are not something I am going to be able to explain fully in a way you could understand in a blog post, so I will just talk about them in regards to Mormons and their lifestyle/modesty.

Garments are for those who have prepared themselves for the temple, and are living their lives a certain way to be able to attend the temple. Not all members of the Church have gone through the temple, which means a lot of members don't wear garments. Being a member of the Church does not mean you have to be temple worthy, however, it is the goal. Typically you go through the temple before you get married, or you go through before you serve a mission for the Church.

Garments come in different cuts and fabrics etc. to fit what a person likes. They go to just above the knee, and cover the small cap of your shoulders. Those who wear garments should always have them covered by what they are wearing. You are not supposed to "alter" your garments to suit the needs of what you are wearing. It can be obvious when some people do this, but how you wear your garments etc. is between you, God, and twice a year your bishop when he asks you if you are wearing them appropriately to renew your temple recommend.

When I went through the temple, I was told that I was to wear my garments when it was reasonable. What is reasonable? Well I was taught that you should always wear your garments, except for during the three S's. S.S.S. Sex, Sports, and Swim. HA :) I always thought that was clever. So that is the quick background on garments. You will see Mormons who wear them, Mormons who don't, Mormons who don't wear them appropriately - at the end of the day that is just how someone is practicing their religion. Everyone is at a different stage in their faith.

MORMONS AND CAFFEINE - What, why is that Mormon drinking a Diet Coke, Mormons can't drink soda?

Oh the great debacle of caffeine and Mormons. What is funny about this is that the Church actually came out with a statement recently regarding this because it is such a funny cultural aspect of our religion that apparently it needed to be addressed. Yes, I say cultural. My favorite thing is meeting a Mormon who drinks her Diet Coke every single day yet has an issue with a girl wearing a two piece. Let me explain why. In the Mormon Church we have something called the Word of Wisdom. It teaches us guidelines of things we should or shouldn't eat or drink to help our body be the best it can be. That is why you will meet Mormons who don't drink coffee, tea (we do drink herbal tea), don't smoke etc. People and Mormons themselves seem to only care about the "big" ticket items as I call them in the Word of Wisdom. There is a lot more to the Word of Wisdom then just alcohol and coffee.

There is a lot of great health advice in the Word of Wisdom, and where the caffeine one comes into play is the idea that we should avoid addictive substances. In my family, we did not drink caffeine growing up because my parent's viewed it as an addictive substance. I am actually grateful because I am not a big soda drinker at all because of that. But as we have gotten older I have had some siblings start to drink caffeinated drinks. Do my parents think they were bad Mormons? Not at all. The Word for Wisdom outlines some things very specifically, and others that are up to members discretion, which is the same thing as the bikini issue in my mind. See the connection to two pieces and diet coke?

Trevor has no problem drinking a coke, well I have decided to stay with the idea that soda/caffeine should just be avoided. I have NEVER even had a coke, diet coke, dr. pepper, pespi etc. before in my life. And I sure don't feel like I am missing out on anything when I see people "needing" to have one. However, I could care less that your drinking it, Kapeesh?

So basically Mormons are just like any other religion. We have members that are all at different levels of their personal faith. We have some that follow the letter of the law, and others who follow the spirit of the law. You get the idea? Despite what people think, the Mormon Church is more progressive then you might think. It leaves room for members to question and come to conclusions on their own. Yet they do put out guidelines to help us along the way.

These were just some topics I saw floating around online about Mormons that I wanted to explain a little better from my personal perspective. If you have any more questions, I would love to answer them! Yet again, please remember these are my personal opinions and the way I see my religion.

disguised blessings...

 

 Sami Jo Photography

Sometimes I just have to sit back in awe of how life unfolds before me. I have always been a planner, and I like to have control when it comes to what will happen next in my life. Over the past several years I have had so many experiences where I realize I need to let things happen the way God wants them to happen for me.

While I believe God lets us make our own decisions, I also believe there are moments in our life where he is strongly guiding us, and if we have the right attitude and are open to the spirit, we will receive amazing blessings. Lately I can't help but think about the past year and the amazing blessings that have come to me, even though I didn't see them at the time.

I went to the University of Utah and got a BS in Social Science Teaching and a minor in History Teaching. I have always had a passion for history, and cultures, and have always wanted to share that with others, especially youth. I want to help young people think about their futures and the world around them, and help them decide what they love and believe in, what they care about. Teaching has always been something I want to do, and it still is.

Trevor applied to many different places for Law School, and we thought for a good period of time he would be attending school out of state. Because of this I graduated with my degree but did not finish my student teaching certification so I wouldn't loose any credits when starting at another school and I would just have my degree. There really was no point of starting a student teaching program in one state, just to have to pretty much start over in another in a year or so. But as life usually goes, the plan changed, and BYU Law School was where we were headed.

I looked into all the different ways I could do the program here in Utah and at the end of the day, the best plan was to still do it at the University of Utah. But we now lived in Provo, no big deal, an hour commute isn't so bad. Yet once we realized I wouldn't be able to work much while doing student teaching (if at all), and Trevor couldn't work while attending law school, that would mean no income, and continued student debt. Then my student loans from my Bachelor's degree got called in and I had a better idea of where we stood, and the whole idea of it financially didn't make a lot of sense.

I feel like deep down I had known for awhile it wasn't a good time to do it, but I stubbornly didn't want to believe that. I had my plan, and my plan was to be teaching and then to be working on my Masters. I remember perfectly one day while trying to figure out what to do I was driving in the car and I just started sobbing. My heart and brain and finally matched up and I just knew that it was not the right time. I didn't expect it to be such an emotional decision for me, but I just knew the right thing to do was to hold off on the Student Teaching and Masters Program and pursue some type of job.

At first I was a little bitter, giving up what I wanted to do so Trevor could pursue his Law degree. But deep down I knew it was the smartest decision at the time for me and our future family. Trevor was so loving and supportive of how I was feeling, and I really appreciated him just letting me figure it all out on my own. He didn't try telling me what to do, but let me come to the decision on my own, and in this situation that is exactly what I needed. He gave me the time I needed.

So after that emotional break down and then coming to a sense of peace about the decision, I started to apply my heart away for a ton of different jobs, and like most job hunting goes, it felt like I was getting nothing back.

To make a long story short, I landed an amazing job doing Paralegal work for an Attorney here in Provo. Over the past two years I have worked for him and he has been the most amazing boss, I look to him as a family member and he treats me the same as well. I have also learned so much about the legal world I would have never been able to learn without experiencing a job like this. I feel like I have gained a connection to Trevor's experience in Law School that we would have never had without this job. We can talk about what he is doing in school and I can understand and even contribute to the conversation! The experience, knowledge and friendships I have made through this job have been a true blessing.

The Paralegal work was part time, so I had to get something else to do so I could be working full time. I ended up getting a job as a part time Financial Aid Advisor. I almost couldn't believe that two schedules would match up so perfectly. I have been learning a whole new profession, I get to work with students which is something I love, and I have the best co-workers I could ask for! I am surrounded with a bunch of smart, powerful and driven people at my Financial Aid job, and I absolutely love the work environment and friendships I have made.

I just look back to that time in the car where I had my break down and realize now what God had in store for me. I have been able to experience totally different avenues in work experience that I would have never thought of doing that I love! I feel like it has made me more well rounded and it has definitely been a resume builder. I am able to support Trevor and me while he is in school, and I know that down the road I will be able teach, but until then, these two jobs have been our biggest blessing while he has been in school.

These experiences have opened up my idea of what my future could look like in regards to a career, and has sparked different interests and passions of mine. Growing up I always wanted to be a teacher thinking that I would be a mother and a teacher and that was it. Now I realize I can do that, and so much more as well. The sky is the limit!

I could write a gazillion posts about all the many blessings that God has blessed Trevor and I with this past year and half, or even throughout our lives, but I think some of the most meaningful ones come from our willingness to let go of "our plans" and let God help guide us.

Sometimes it can be hard to remember that God has a better plan for us then our own, but if we listen, we can have a life even we didn't know was possible for us.

merry christmas - be of good cheer :)

Sami Jo Photography

I hope you are all enjoying your holidays with friends and family. I haven't been able to stop thinking about those little children that lost their lives in Connecticut, and how they can't be with their families on what would have been such an exciting and magical day for them.

During this season where we focus so much on Christ, I can't help but mention my testimony. I believe so deeply that there is a Heavenly Father who loves us, and that those little children are being embraced in that love right now. A lot of times when there is tragedy, people ask themselves if there is a God, I mean, how could he let such horrible things happen?

It is in moments of tragedy and heartache where my heart believes and hopes even more deeply that there is an afterlife and a Heavenly Father, because without that hope, then what is there? Where would be the justice for horrible acts like this? Where would be the rewards of love and courage?

I know Christmas is a time to celebrate Christ's birth, but I can't think of Christ and not think of the atonement.

"Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays. But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come. No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come.”  

- Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin"

My favorite scripture is what gives me comfort in times where I can't understand, or am hurting...

"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." John 16:33 

Remember the true meaning of Christmas, and enjoy this beautiful season with friends and family :) 

Love you all!

The sweater from my pictures is back in stock and on sale for those who asked!

mormon women, equality, and pants?

I remember seeing people go crazy all over facebook, twitter, and blogs when they announced the new ages for young men and women to be able to serve LDS missions. Sure, I thought it was pretty cool, and a very smart change - but did I feel like it was some huge step for women in the Church? Not really. But people really felt this was big news, I mean, even the New York Times wrote about it.

I did feel like it meant women would have more of a reasonable choice to serve a mission, and that it wasn't just something you did because you weren't married yet. Girls could make the decision at such a critical age and time in their life to have an amazing life building experience where they could deeper their testimonies and learn more about themselves, others and Christ.

The excitement over the new age for missionaries, especially the new age for women, sparked a conversation about equality with women in our Church. I know this has been an ongoing conversation, but I feel it has become more prevalent recently. 

I like to read C. Jane's blog because I think she is a great writer, but I also think she sparks good conversation. I don't always agree with her, but that doesn't matter, I like how she makes me start thinking. The second I heard about this whole Mormon Feminists wearing pants on December 16th, I knew people would be talking about it. I knew C. Jane would write about it, and I knew people would be posting about it.

To be honest, my first thought was... "that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard." I had this reaction for two main reasons...

1. Church is a place of worship, it is not a place to make a point or demonstration.

2. There is absolutely no Church standard that you can't wear pants to Church, and if your point is about equality, then make it about that, not pants. 

 

Yes, yes, culturally the norm for women is to wear dresses and skirts to Church in LDS congregations, but the Church's counsel is to wear our best out of respect, and that can be defined by us individually as members. If you are judging someone based on what they are wearing to Church, then maybe you need to pay a little bit (or a lot a bit) more attention while you are at Church! If most women find dresses and skirts to be there best, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and the same goes for pants.

I guess I am just bothered that this is how people are going about making the changes they want, by feeling the need to make a "demonstration" on a day that should be about faith and learning. I just don't think Church is the appropriate venue.

Stephanie Lauritzen a member of this group said, “We're doing this not because we think women have to wear pants or should wear pants but that women can wear pants.” No one has ever said that women can't wear pants to Church. To me having an issue with this, is more of an issue with the culture of members in the Church, and not the Church itself. 

 

Another quote I saw was that this group was formed to "give a voice to and express support for women who don’t conform to traditional gender roles and those who seek gender equality in the LDS church."

I have never felt unequal in my religion because I am a woman, and I wouldn't necessarily consider myself "traditional" either.

I was raised in a home where there were no "boy" jobs or "girl" jobs, just jobs that everyone needed to do and get done. In fact, I remember trying to make the argument that I shouldn't have to take the trash out because that is a "boy's" job, and my Dad wouldn't have it. I had to mow the lawn, and do the grungy stuff just as much as I had to do the more "womanly" jobs - this went for my brother's too. As a family we did everything together, and no chores or activities were separated because of gender. Everyone was expected and invited to participate in what everyone was doing.

You are always going to have people in your life that view things differently then you, people who are more conservative, liberal, traditional, a mix of both. I have honestly never felt unequal in my religion or at Church because of my gender because I don't let other people's opinions rule over my life. I also respect other people's decisions.

Sure I have had very conservative Mormon's make remarks to me because I am almost 24, have been married for about 3 1/2 years, am done my education and am working full time and they think I should get started on having a family. Does it bother me? Not really. 

We all experience judgement every day in every aspect of our lives, not just at Church, and if you feel like you need to say something or want to make a change, then say and do it, don't make it about "the pants."

 

Do I consider myself a feminist? Well yes, yes I do. I advocate social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men. Does being a feminist mean I can't wear my girly fun dresses, put make up on and relish in the fun aspects of being a girl? Um, no. Does me loving those things mean I don't like to have intellectual conversations, or that I couldn't hold the same job as a man, or mean I don't like to go hunting? Um, no, it doesn't.

I believe we can have equality while recognizing and respecting our differences among our own genders, the opposite gender, as well as recognizing and respecting our similarities.

Let's not worry about what people choose to wear to Church, and focus on why we are at Church. 

 

*my apologies if you are not Mormon and are super confused by this post, if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.
 

 

a "utah" mormon...

a shot from back in my university of utah days :) circa 2008

Moving to Utah for school did something to me that I wasn't expecting. It made me more aware of the fact that I was Mormon then I have ever felt before in my life.

I went to the University of Utah not knowing a soul attending there. I had left my family, friends and boyfriend back home. And I was experiencing this awareness of my religion in a heightened sense. Mormonism was everywhere, it was at the forefront of my mind.

Where I grew up was made up of a relatively diverse group of people. There wasn't one dominating homogeneous group. Coming to Utah was a culture shock - and I am a Mormon! Go figure.

 

I will admit, it was nice to feel apart of the "group" because of my religion, something I didn't experience growing up in San Diego. But it was also very different and odd for me to be surrounded by so many people that believed the same things, and that acted the same way etc. That was just something I was not used to.

Living in Utah I have never had to feel uncomfortable because I am a Mormon. But as I have lived here, I can't help but comment on the phenomenon of the Utah Mormon culture. I know a lot of members get upset when they hear the term "Utah Mormon", and I am not trying to stereotype all members of the Church from Utah or people who live in Utah, but there is no denying that growing up as a Mormon in parts of Utah is very different then growing up outside of the heavily Mormon populated state. I am not saying one is better, just different. Very different.

I was not used to seeing an LDS Church on every block, or not having to explain Mormon terminology to people. I grew up always giving the definition of a "church word" so people would understand what I was talking about. For example, I had just moved to Salt Lake City and I was talking to a girl I had met on the trax on my way to class and was saying how I had a ward activity and quickly added that a ward was what we called the group of people you attend church with based on where you live etc. You should have seen the look she gave me... like "yeah, duh, I know." Well sorry, I wasn't used to people "just knowing."

I also couldn't help but notice that a lot of people who are not Mormon are not huge fans of living among a bunch of Mormons. Now that is not everyone, I know a lot of people who love living among Mormons! But with that said I have met quite a bit of people who do not like living here and are bitter or upset about the Mormon culture that they have to deal with on a daily basis, and I am not sure I can blame them completely.

I am obviously bringing up a lot of stereotypes here, but the fact of the matter is, there is truth to it.

I guess I am trying to pose the question for those of you who are Mormon who grew up in Utah, do you see this? Do you recognize this in your culture here? Do you even think there is a culture? I am fascinated by this aspect of my religion and how it pertains specifically to Utah and would love to hear some insight from people who experienced it, Mormon or not.

thankful for helping hands...

Hurricane Sandy Helping Hands

I have seen this video make the rounds on the internet the past week or so and when I caught myself crying through the middle of it I knew I had to share it will all of you.

I am so grateful to be apart of an organization that puts such an emphasis on serving others.

I am thankful for my family, my health and the ability I have to help others.

I hope we can all look for more opportunities to serve those around us.

I am a Christian.

 

So far with my blog I have not gone into the topic of religion too much. But things have been on my mind lately with recent events politically, and I just wanted to get my opinion out there, even if only a few people read it. You guys may have picked up on the fact that I am a Mormon. "Mormon" is actually a nickname for our church, and the church I belong to is actually called The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Recently in the media people have been commenting about their opinions on whether or not Mormons are Christian. This whole discussion brought me back to an event that happened to me in high school. I had a couple friends start an Athletic Christan Club, made of people who liked to play sports and were active, that were also Christian. However my friends were having some problems getting people involved and were needing more people to join. I figured since I was Christian, and I played three sports for the school that I would help them out and join. So when I told them I would be happy to join, they told me no. I asked why not and they told me I wasn't Christian, I was a Mormon.

Hmm. I hadn't known they weren't the same thing. I was pretty hurt, and tried to explain that I believe Jesus Christ is my Savior, who died for me. But I wasn't allowed in the club, and I wasn't going to argue it.

I understand there are people out there that don't consider or recognize Mormons, or members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, as Christians. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and I don't want this post to become an argument over that.

I just felt like with recent things going on currently in the media, and certain statements made by Jeffress, that I wanted to make my opinions clear.

I am not a member of a cult.

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I believe that Jesus Christ was the only Begotten son of God the Father, as well as a Prophet and is my Savior and Redeemer. I believe that he died for me, for my sins, so that I can be clean. He is very much my personal Savior. I don't go a day without thinking of the Atonement, and feel so incredibly blessed to have this knowledge in my life. I am a follower of Jesus Christ.

I know many of you might not be religious, or some of you may agree with the notion that I am not a Christian.

But I think everyone is entitled to their beliefs and these are mine.

*Since I have had some questions since this post, I thought I would direct you all here.