mormon women, equality, and pants?

I remember seeing people go crazy all over facebook, twitter, and blogs when they announced the new ages for young men and women to be able to serve LDS missions. Sure, I thought it was pretty cool, and a very smart change - but did I feel like it was some huge step for women in the Church? Not really. But people really felt this was big news, I mean, even the New York Times wrote about it.

I did feel like it meant women would have more of a reasonable choice to serve a mission, and that it wasn't just something you did because you weren't married yet. Girls could make the decision at such a critical age and time in their life to have an amazing life building experience where they could deeper their testimonies and learn more about themselves, others and Christ.

The excitement over the new age for missionaries, especially the new age for women, sparked a conversation about equality with women in our Church. I know this has been an ongoing conversation, but I feel it has become more prevalent recently. 

I like to read C. Jane's blog because I think she is a great writer, but I also think she sparks good conversation. I don't always agree with her, but that doesn't matter, I like how she makes me start thinking. The second I heard about this whole Mormon Feminists wearing pants on December 16th, I knew people would be talking about it. I knew C. Jane would write about it, and I knew people would be posting about it.

To be honest, my first thought was... "that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard." I had this reaction for two main reasons...

1. Church is a place of worship, it is not a place to make a point or demonstration.

2. There is absolutely no Church standard that you can't wear pants to Church, and if your point is about equality, then make it about that, not pants. 

 

Yes, yes, culturally the norm for women is to wear dresses and skirts to Church in LDS congregations, but the Church's counsel is to wear our best out of respect, and that can be defined by us individually as members. If you are judging someone based on what they are wearing to Church, then maybe you need to pay a little bit (or a lot a bit) more attention while you are at Church! If most women find dresses and skirts to be there best, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and the same goes for pants.

I guess I am just bothered that this is how people are going about making the changes they want, by feeling the need to make a "demonstration" on a day that should be about faith and learning. I just don't think Church is the appropriate venue.

Stephanie Lauritzen a member of this group said, “We're doing this not because we think women have to wear pants or should wear pants but that women can wear pants.” No one has ever said that women can't wear pants to Church. To me having an issue with this, is more of an issue with the culture of members in the Church, and not the Church itself. 

 

Another quote I saw was that this group was formed to "give a voice to and express support for women who don’t conform to traditional gender roles and those who seek gender equality in the LDS church."

I have never felt unequal in my religion because I am a woman, and I wouldn't necessarily consider myself "traditional" either.

I was raised in a home where there were no "boy" jobs or "girl" jobs, just jobs that everyone needed to do and get done. In fact, I remember trying to make the argument that I shouldn't have to take the trash out because that is a "boy's" job, and my Dad wouldn't have it. I had to mow the lawn, and do the grungy stuff just as much as I had to do the more "womanly" jobs - this went for my brother's too. As a family we did everything together, and no chores or activities were separated because of gender. Everyone was expected and invited to participate in what everyone was doing.

You are always going to have people in your life that view things differently then you, people who are more conservative, liberal, traditional, a mix of both. I have honestly never felt unequal in my religion or at Church because of my gender because I don't let other people's opinions rule over my life. I also respect other people's decisions.

Sure I have had very conservative Mormon's make remarks to me because I am almost 24, have been married for about 3 1/2 years, am done my education and am working full time and they think I should get started on having a family. Does it bother me? Not really. 

We all experience judgement every day in every aspect of our lives, not just at Church, and if you feel like you need to say something or want to make a change, then say and do it, don't make it about "the pants."

 

Do I consider myself a feminist? Well yes, yes I do. I advocate social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men. Does being a feminist mean I can't wear my girly fun dresses, put make up on and relish in the fun aspects of being a girl? Um, no. Does me loving those things mean I don't like to have intellectual conversations, or that I couldn't hold the same job as a man, or mean I don't like to go hunting? Um, no, it doesn't.

I believe we can have equality while recognizing and respecting our differences among our own genders, the opposite gender, as well as recognizing and respecting our similarities.

Let's not worry about what people choose to wear to Church, and focus on why we are at Church. 

 

*my apologies if you are not Mormon and are super confused by this post, if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.