auckie & sisha

 

We had just finished watching the Lady and the Tramp. We insisted on Spaghetti that night so we could reenact the famous scene :) haha

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When I was younger I couldn't pronounce my little brother's name.  Saying Alex was just too difficult for me. In result he ended up with a couple different names. Auckie is what I called him for a long time, which then turned into Auculux. Don't ask me why I thought those were easier to pronounce than Alex haha, but this is what I called him. As Alex got older, he couldn't say my name either, so I became Sisha.

Being only two years apart, we hung out a lot. Every single one of my childhood memories has him in it. My earliest memory of Alex is when he was a newborn. I remember asking my mother what the big purple chunk on his belly button was, and I was always trying to carry him myself. Being overwhelmed with his weight, but wanting to be a big sister so badly, I would do it anyways. I remember one night there was a big thunderstorm. I was really afraid, and I wanted to go to my parents bedroom, but I knew I couldn't leave Auckie behind. His crib was in my room, and I walked right over to it, and somehow managed to lift that kid out of it. I wrapped both  my arms around his body in a big hug and lifted with all my might, as I basically dragged him with me to go find comfort and solace in my parents room.

As we got older he would copy everything I did. When I wanted to be Jasmine for Halloween, he insisted on being Aladdin. When I wanted to be Sandy from Grease, he died his hair black and was my Danny Zuko. Even though we shared a room, and had bunk beds, he would beg and beg and beg me to have a "sleepover" up on the top bunk with me. He just wanted to share beds, he wanted to be with me. Some nights when he couldn't fall asleep, I would dangle my hands and feet over the edge of the bunk and put on puppet shows for him, a tradition that passed down to my little sister when we shared a room. We did everything together.

Because we did everything together, you can imagine that we fought the most too. Nothing serious, always something dumb and petty. But as the years went on, that closeness didn't go away. Even as teenagers we could talk about our lives, and cared about each others opinions. I would help him do his hair, or tell him which shirt and tie looked best. I would even trust him with telling me which outfit looked better on me, all while fighting for bathroom space mind you ;) haha

Even as adults we still call each other Auckie and Sisha. I have three brothers, and saying goodbye to each of them before they went on their missions was difficult. But I have found the waiting for them to come home part to be the hardest with Alex. I didn't realize why at first, but as time has gone on I have figured out what it is. He was so integrated in my every day life that I didn't even realize it. Every time a good song would come on that we thought the other would like we could call each other. We also have an inside joke texting game. Do you know how many times these past two years that I have called him, or texted him, all to remember later that he doesn't have a cell phone right now?! Countless. The year before he left for his mission he lived in the apartment above mine, and even if we didn't hang out, he would stop by to just say hi. Or I would wander up there to sit in his room for a bit. These last few months have been extra difficult for me with him gone, I truly miss him. 

I am so excited for him to be coming home soon. I am so proud of him. It is funny how our roles have seemed to swap as we got older, at least they did for me. When he was younger, all he cared about was spending time with me. Following me, and playing with me. He looked up to me so much. But sometime during the teenage years, I started looking up to him. My younger brother became my role model. He became someone I wanted to be. He is so kind, loyal, loving, compassionate, strong, smart... so many things and all the good things you ever wanted to be all rolled up into one.

 I love him so much, and I wont lie, sometimes I wish I could rewind the clock... just so we can spend all our afternoons together again out in the backyard playing, pretending, imagining.
Not worried about anything else in the world, except for each other.

♥ ♥ ♥