(Don't you wish we could all be as un-judgmental, loving and loyal as dogs?
Taken on the lake in St. George on Trevor's family boat summer 2009)
When I got engaged, someone actually told me that they thought that Trevor was just taking advantage of me. They thought since I was young, and Trevor was four years older then me, that I couldn't possibly be making this type of decision without the control, or power of an older man convincing me that this is what I wanted. Of course I took offense. I mean this person was actually telling me that they thought I was weak minded, and didn't have a choice in what I was doing. I mean the biggest decision in my life, &they thought I wasn't apart of it? What gets me is people judging. Yes, we all do it. We all judge. It is human nature. But how far do some people take it? Why do people think they know everything about everything, and everyone's situation? I might have an initial thought about someone or something, but I can step back and also say that I don't know the whole story. I am not seeing the whole picture. I am not that person, &I do not know how they are feeling or what they believe in.
The person who told me this, knew me very well. Which is why I think I let the comment hurt my feelings. How could this person think this about me? I really do agree with the quote that...
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt
Sometimes I seriously question why people say and do the things they do. I just don't understand them. They don't make sense to me, &while I am entitled to my own opinion, I also need to accept and realize that I don't know everything about the person, even if I think I do. This is easier said then done. But I am really going to try and work on giving people the benefit of the doubt. To realize as much as I would like to think I know everything...I don't. I am going to work on being open and accepting of others without judging them &on the flip side of that, not letting other people's judgments about me, bring me down, or keep me from being the person I am, and what I want to be.
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What wise and true words. I am always frustrated by the snap judgements I see people make around me daily...but I know I am guilty of doing the same. It is something I am constantly working on in myself and this reminder helps. It's all about perspective and loving one another.
ReplyDeleteLove this post. You are so right, some of the things people say are outrageous.
ReplyDeleteIt especially hurts when it's a true friend or family member.
Much love!
Janell
I totally agree...Its hard at times but its easier if you just try not to let this get to you...That photo is so sweet:)
ReplyDeleteKisses
Ps: If you have a chance, please check out my Giveaway:) I think you will like it
I loved your quote and what you said is so true. It's just like what I quote to Sarah all the time "You choose whether you are happy or not."
ReplyDeletethis is a really hard thing. i really my best to not assume or judge in hopes people will do the same for me. i'm glad that you were strong enough to realize that you are your own person and no one can decide that for you. way to go! and thanks for this.
ReplyDeleteAren't people just plain rude sometimes? I'm sure whoever said this had the best of intentions, but still. Good for you for choosing your perspective. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat blog to you too! I can totally relate to this, because I was also married young and my husband is 5 years older than me. People do make snap judgements all the time, we do every day without even realizing it. Anyway, I know exactly how you feel! lol
ReplyDeleteWhen people say things like this to me, it really gets under my skin too.. and I TRY my best not to let it bother me. Whatever they said rolls around and around inside of my head until I can't take it anymore.
ReplyDeleteMy husband always says "they're stupid, don't worry about them". Such a man thing to say, but I have really been trying to adopt his mind set because he's right... what do these people know? And where do they get off saying some of the crap they do?
This person (not to make excuses for them) was probably trying to look out for your best interest, but if they knew you well enough, they should have already known you're a smart girl who knows what she wants out of life! :)
Love the Eleanor quote.
o, and here's my rant on judging others. http://2littlepuzzlepieces.blogspot.com/2010/06/judgement.html
I was told something like that when I got engaged too!! Except the opposite. My husband is older than me too and some girl went around and told everyone that I was only marrying him for his money and that I was taking advantage of him. The funny thing is that I had just bought a brand new house, I was taking care of myself and doing just fine. I didn't need my husband. I wanted him. The comment didn't hurt my feelings because I knew how ridiculous it was, but I was pretty mad that this person not only told me, but told everyone she knew.
ReplyDeletePeople say the most ridiculous things sometimes!
ReplyDeleteWow. You couldn't have put it any better. I love the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt too. We've been talking about consent in my Philosophy class, I think I'll bring that up!
ReplyDeleteBut anyways, people are stupid. I think things like that are said out of ignorance. People say way stupid things about Matt, and I know that they will continue until we are married, and probably after... ugh. Life.
i LOVE this, and i'm so glad to see someone is on the same page about it.. i actually just wrote about the same exact thing!
ReplyDeleteDITTO!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI hope that I never do that to others and that if I do by accident, I would realize it and apologize.
ReplyDeleteWhen we got engaged, more than one person said things like this and if they didn't then the look was on their face or subtle behind their words.
People should learn....Just because you are getting married young doesn't mean it's automatically a bad thing!!
People can be so hurtful sometimes!
Way to be! Isn't Eleanor the greatest? Seriously, thanks for this. It's a good reminder.
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, and yes! You are so very right and I feel the exact same way. I am pretty good at not being judgemental already...but it's still a tough take on me not allowing judgemental people get to me. Thanks for this post. It really gave me some insight and you have like seriously, the prettiest smile ever! :)
ReplyDeleteI completely think we all need to start giving people the benefit of the doubt and not being as judgemental.
ReplyDeleteIt's natural to form opinions in situations but some people just need to learn to keep that opinion to themselves and not voice it.
amen sister
ReplyDeleteI agree!...and love the quote
ReplyDeletetell 'em girl!
ReplyDeletethat is a good reminder. and i am with ya. sometimes i wonder where the filter is between the brain and mouth sometimes. and i think, "did you REALLY just let that come out of your mouth?"
ReplyDelete