Thank you all so much for your sweet words over the last few days via texts, phone calls, social media love, etc. We are pretty dang excited! I have been keeping a log of my thoughts throughout this entire journey so far via journaling, and vlogs. Maybe you are like me and enjoy following along people's experiences. I have always loved reading woman's birth stories and following pregnancies, I feel like in another life I would love to be a doula or midwife! I am happy I took the time to write down my thoughts along the way because it is fun to go back and read and remember how I felt. I am sure no one else will care about these thoughts as much as me, but I am happy I have them written down!
Gosh my body is playing tricks on me! I have heard that early pregnancy symptoms can be incredibly similar to symptoms where you are about to start your period... and I can't tell you how confusing that has been! My breasts have been really sore, similar to how they were back in September when I was pregnant, but I have had subtle cramping that has made me feel like I could be starting my period soon, but they aren't nearly as intense as they usually are... I have also been recording my basal body temperature and it has stayed up and since I am supposed to start my period in a few days that is telling me I could very well be pregnant since my temperature would have dropped by now when comparing it to my last cycle. But who knows when I will actually start my period since I didn't get one for awhile, and now I don't know what is considered "normal" for me. The waiting game is torture, and this weekend couldn't come sooner! Three more days...
I should have got my period today, but I didn't! Feeling hopeful. We moved into our first home today, which is crazy to think we are at this point in life. I have been having cramping off and on for days now. They are similar to period cramps, but not exactly the same.
I bought one of those digital pregnancy tests, and it didn't even finish going through all of the proper counters before it just came up PREGNANT. I won't lie, I wasn't totally surprised. I really felt like I was and this was just a confirmation. Last night however I was incredibly nervous for some reason, knowing I was going to be taking the test the next morning. I think I knew it was going to say yes, and I was a little excited and scared about all that would mean. I had all kinds of plans to take it secretly and surprise Trevor, but of course he was in the loop that I had missed my period and he wanted to be apart of it all. I did however manage to wrap a little red bow around it before I brought it out of the bathroom to tell him. I don't think either of us have really wrapped our heads around it yet. It doesn't feel real yet at all, but holy cow, I'M PREGNANT!
I don't know what I expected to feel when I became pregnant, because they say everyone is different. You get used to hearing certain common symptoms, such as morning sickness, or being incredibly tired. I haven't felt sick at all, and while I have been tired, the one main symptom I have is something I had honestly never heard any other woman talk about before - cramping! Apparently it is normal to feel like you are on your period when you are pregnant?! That is exactly how I would describe how I feel. I am bloated, tired and cramping. The cramping does feel different then regular period cramps, but the fact that I have been experiencing them for the past two weeks doesn't make them any less annoying. In fact it was this cramping that made me think I was going to get my period! Isn't the body fun like that? Playing tricks on you. This cramping is called "Round Ligament Pain, these cramps may be dull and achy, or a sharp pain that you notice when changing position. This cramping occurs because the muscles under your uterus expand and grow in order to support the weight of your uterus and baby as it grows. This is probably the most complained about cramping in pregnancy, and one most pregnant women will experience." They don't last long when they happen, and they don't "hurt" as they are more just uncomfortable. They also seem to be getting less and less as the days go on, so here is to hoping they go away completely soon!
After dinner we headed to the St. George Temple to see the nativity and the lights. They have a beautiful manger set up with the story of Christ's birth that plays along with lights cast on the nativity scene. At one point during the story I was fixated on Mary and baby Jesus, and it kind of hit me. "Alycia, you are going to have a baby." Up until this point it hadn't sunk in, but looking at Mary and thinking about all that she went through, how scared she must have been, anxious, excited, happy - these were all the emotions of a brand new mother. Mother, I was going to be a mother. God has sent me a one of his children and I am going to raise it. I started to cry as the rest of the story played out, and I was reminded how important this new role was going to be. I am going to have a child.
My parents and older sister knew pretty quickly after I took my pregnancy test that I was pregnant, they had been in the loop from the beginning so they were already asking if I had taken a test, haha! We thought it would be special to tell Trevor's parents that we are expecting in person instead of on the phone since we live further away. We knew we were coming down for Christmas in just over a week and we didn't want to miss out on the opportunity to have that moment. I had wrapped the pregnancy test in a red bow and taken a picture of it. We printed that out and put it in an envelop for them to open. They were shocked and very excited! My favorite was seeing my mother-in-laws mouth just drop open and wonder if it was her other daughter or us announcing! haha Since now both parents and all of Trevor's siblings knew, I sent sent of the same picture to the rest of my siblings for a Christmas surprise! However, I was the one surprised when I picked up my phone and saw that my brother and his wife has announced their pregnancy! Talk about timing! I was really excited for them since they have been trying for this for awhile now. I was pretty giddy when I realized we would be due the same month!
Everyone keeps asking how I am feeling and so far the answer has been great! Besides the sore breasts, and being tired all the time. My cramping has even mostly stopped! However this morning I woke up feeling like I had the flu, I guess that is the best way to describe it or compare it to? I felt queasy, and I was hungry but nothing sounded good at all. I finally started to feel better by the end of the day, but sure hope this isn't the beginnings of feeling sick all the time!
Felt pretty sick last night, and then woke up this morning feeling pretty nauseous... I even dry heaved a few times. Thankfully it passed quickly. As long as I don't actually throw up I will be a happy girl! There is nothing worse to me then puking. I am also starting to have food aversions, nothing specific, just everything in general doesn't sound good. Pretty much all I want is bread and cheese.
Let it be known... dry heaving at work is not attractive. I was pretty sick all day and into the evening today. I felt horrible! I rest for a bit before we had a friends over for a new years eve get together, but I was so close to having Trevor cancel it. I am happy we didn't though because I started to feel better and we had a great night!
It is officially 2015! This year I will be having a baby, A BABY! I still can't believe that as I type it out. I have always wondered what it felt like to be pregnant, as a woman you grow up knowing that having children is a big possibility for your body... and it has been strange to actually start this journey and come to know what everyone is always talking about. This morning I cuddled up to Trevor and we talked about our appointment coming up. I couldn't help but think about all the things that could go wrong, and I know I shouldn't think like that but I am so nervous. I just want to walk into that doctors office and hear that everything is great! But even knowing that if that happens, so many things could still go wrong after that. I guess this is the beginning of worrying about your child non-stop for the rest of your life huh?
Well I am officially 8 weeks (I was actually 7 didn't know that at the time-apparently that is prime time to get morning sickness! ha!) as of yesterday and I spent the morning throwing up! YAY! :( I had to go to work because we had some important people coming into the office, so I had to get it together pretty quick. I can't believe it finally happened. And the worse part about being pregnant is that after you throw up it isn't like when you are sick with the flu and it feels better.... your nausea still lingers.
...I just threw up at work.
It has been awhile since I wrote something, I have just been so busy with work that when I get home I totally veg because I have zero energy left. Thankfully I have been WAY less nauseous this week, and am feeing so much better. My first appointment is five days away and I can. not. wait. I don't think I have ever been this impatient. We talk more and more about the baby these days. This morning Trevor told me he had a dream last night that we had two sons (elementary school ages), one older then the other, and that they were walking to school together holding hands. It is crazy to think that we are heading in that direction, that Trevor and I are going to create a family. It really is mind blowing when you realize the significance of creating life. A life. This baby will be a person, with his or her own thoughts, feelings, and experiences. He/She will be made up of me and Trevor... and I just can't wrap my mind around it!
For the most part, I haven't really had any food cravings, more like an aversion to food in general. There isn't one thing that sounds bad, it is more like nothing sounds good. I think it is from just being sick all the time, my stomach is unsettled all the time so while I am hungry, eating something and enjoying it doesn't really happen. Which for a foodie like me is the most depressing thing ever! However, this weekend I would say I got my first food craving, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches! haha We only had peanut butter and I wanted one so badly I had to go out and buy the bread and jam right then. It was glorious. I have had them for lunch every day since :) They are the best thing ever to me right now! haha
Today is the day and I am sooooooooooo nervous and excited! Trevor will be meeting me there and I can't wait :)
I really have a baby in there! I saw it! It was one of the coolest things I have ever experienced, and I wish it had lasted longer. First things first, I love our Doctor. I don't know how I got so lucky just doing some research online and finding her. The whole staff at the hospital is great. After going through a bunch of questions and what not we got to do the sonogram. I don't know why but a small part of me expected nothing to be there, to find out this whole thing so far has just been some kind of sick joke and I wasn't pregnant. But the second she put that on my stomach I saw the baby! Like I had been expecting, the baby measured a week behind what they had initially put me at. I knew that this was going to be the case because I know exactly what day I ovulated, and so the whole time I figured I was actually a good week behind what everything tells you, you are. I have longer cycles too, so I assumed about a week behind and I was right on the dot. I was actually 9 weeks and 4 days. They changed my due date from August 16th to the official due date of August 22nd! One of the first things I noticed was our babies little round head, and little bud arms which were moving! It was incredible. And the heart was flickering so fast on the screen. I couldn't remember how fast the Doctor said the heart beat was because I was so mesmerized at looking at our baby, but Trevor said it was something like 169/170. All I know is that she said the baby had a strong, fast, heart beat! This was music to my ears. All I wanted to hear was that everything was good, and that our baby looked healthy! At one point I looked over at Trevor and he had this huge grin on his face. She printed of the pictures and while she finished off some questions I saw Trevor looking at the pictures. He looked at me and said, "It's only 3 centimeters, that is crazy!" I replied with, "For something so small it sure has caused a lot of damage!" :) My doctor talked me into getting a flu shot, which I usually avoid like the plague, and then I was off to pee in a cup and get some blood work done. Two pricks, 8 viles of blood, and one filled cup later, I was walking out of the hospital already calling my mom to tell her everything! I am going to have a baby, and I am already obsessed with looking at its profile. I hung the ultrasound up on the fridge and stepped back, just starring at it for a few minutes. I think what blows my mind is knowing I am looking at someone who is going to be such a huge part of my life. Someone who I will love more than anything, and that I won't be able to remember life before they came! And there he/she was, right there on the fridge, my future. I just can't fathom this kind of love. Life is incredible.
I thought the being nauseous was getting better, but yesterday I was trying so hard to keep it together while at work. Working full time while pregnant is pretty lame. All I want is a nap, but I have to get things done! Yesterday we had run out of cereal which is usually what I eat first thing, so instead I made some hard boiled eggs and ate them when I go to work. Well, I don't think I ate soon enough because I was fighting nausea the rest of the day. I have discovered that if I don't eat the first moment I wake up, I will get sick. I have been pretty good about it, but yesterday let it happen and I paid for it. I also had a lovely headache for half of the day.... bah....
So besides peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I forgot to mention from day one I have been eating a lot cereal. The craving has only increased. So basically my diet tends to look like a four year olds. But really, why is cereal sooooo good? My favorites have been Life, Grape Nut Flakes, Oatmeal Squares, Honey Bunches of Oats, and Special K Vanilla Almond. Yum, yum, yum. Today I also made our appointment for our big ultrasound, where we get to see if the baby is growing properly, and find out the gender! April 6th.... I can't waiiiiiiiiiit.
Today is my twenty sixth birthday! I don't know if it is because I am now closer to thirty than I am twenty, but twenty six is my first birthday where I truly feel like I am a grown adult. This birthday and this year already feels so different. I have been married for almost six years, I have a mortgage, I am pregnant, and Trevor and I work full time jobs.... things have sure changed from when we met seven years ago! This was such a great birthday. Low key, and enjoyable. Spent with my friends and those I love. I can't help but think of all of these celebrations as our last ones without the rest of our family, our baby!
My next appointment is February 17th and I am so nervous. I know I shouldn't think like this but I can't help but worry. I hope that everything is good, and that the baby is healthy. I know the odds of having a miscarriage at this point are a lot lower, my OB said that 85% of miscarriages happen before 8 weeks. But we all know that someone where it happened after. I am so nervous that I will get to my appointment and there won't be a heart beat. I am trying not to think like that but it is scary not knowing what is going on 100% of the time. Last night I took a shower and placed my hands on my little bump and thought about how this little person, or fetus as Trevor likes to call him/her, goes everywhere with me, and someday he/she will be out on their own doing whatever they want. The fights we will have, the laughs we will have, it just keeps getting more real every day....
This weekend I "made" Trevor take a picture with me to use for our pregnancy announcement. Since I will be 13 weeks on Valentine's Day, I wanted to do something Valentine's related. I decided to just take a picture and try and make it look kind of like a Valentine's Day Card. Cheesy? Absolutely. But why not?! I figured this would be the time I could get away with it. :) I wore all pink and begged Trevor to wear a matching pink tie with white polka dots, but he refused to do the matching thing. He said the whole thing was way too feminine for him as it was with all the pink and the hearts I was going to put on it. Soooooooo you have to pick your battles. I also knew I would only get him to take a picture for a few minutes so we just quickly snapped the shot before Church on my tripod. Trevor ended up looking pretty smug in the shot haha and my dress kind of made me look a little more pregnant than I actually am (the a-line shape flares out and the fabric bunched under my hand) but like I said we had to take a quick shot, and we didn't really have time for a redo, so I had to make it work! haha I think it turned out alright. I can't believe that in less than a week I can finally tell everyone that I am pregnant! :) Can't wait to start talking to others about their experiences and advice! I am pretty nervous and excited.