what five years together looks like...

The other night while my hands were covered in some scrumptious parmesan and garlic sauce I realized mid bite of a delicious chicken wing that my husband had changed. 

It wasn't a bad change or even a good change, it was just... a change. A small fraction of a shift into a different version of him that I have always known, or I guess, how I have always thought I have known him.

But in that same moment that I realized he had changed I confessed to myself almost instantaneously that I too have changed. Change is inevitable.

Life is about progression, and to progress, change needs to happen. Sometimes change can be hard, but it almost always makes us stronger people and better people. I usually welcome change in all forms because I get bored easily, but when it comes to your marriage change can seem scarier. Your lives are intertwined. You are a team.

It was a casual night, even though we were celebrating our four year wedding anniversary, I mean, we were eating chicken wings for goodness sake! We are pretty classy folks ;) Although casual, our conversation was deep and personal. A review on our five years together, on our marriage and our future. We talked for hours.

I got married young, and one concern someone mentioned to me was, "But you are so young, aren't you afraid you both will change as you get older?" I remember responding that I knew we would change. I fully expected us to. But that if you focus on loving each other and changing together, that change can make your marriage better, and even great.

When I said that, I didn't really know what I was saying. But I can say that now I know that it is true. The changes have been subtle, but after five years those subtle little steps have become huge strides. I didn't wake up one morning and have a whole new different husband. But I realized during that dinner that he was different, and in review of our life together I saw how it all came together to make who he was right now.  

Trevor and I are individuals, but we are also married. I know that Trevor and I will continue to change as we get older and something I have learned in this short time together is how important communication with your spouse is. If you don't communicate and express all your thoughts and desires with your spouse, you could wake up one day and not know who your spouse is. Communication will make your marriage stronger.

As we walked hand in hand back to the car that night, I realized that with just one conversation we made our marriage stronger. And it is conversations like that, that build up your marriage into something great. When you can strengthen each other individually, it makes the two of you a stronger unit. And I am so thankful that I have someone like that to call my husband.