i could lie...


image circa 2009.

I could lie and let you think that Trevor and I handle our busy schedules, work and school flawlessly.
The past year has been me working full time and Trevor in Law School. This has been an adjustment for us. I know I have complained about it, but we just don't have a lot of time together.

After an already busy first year of Law School, he then goes and pretty much leaves me for the whole summer, all to come home and then start Law School again. I literally just want to scream, "When will I get to see my husband?!" better yet... "When will I get to have FUN quality time with my husband again?!"

I know that going through something like this in your marriage is normal, typical, and if you let it, can help your relationship truly grow and blossom. But it can be hard to focus on that daily. It can be hard to remember the benefits when you see your husband for a genuine half an hour every day. every. single. day. monday through friday.

Problem is...When we DO have time... we just aren't taking advantage of it. We are both always so "tired" and we want to be lazy. Granted... we are lazy together, haha but I have felt for the past year we need to be better and more proactive in creating time for us. Real, thought out, fun, genuine time together. We have been working on it a bit this summer... but I want to be even better at it. We just work too hard to not be enjoying ourselves. We used to be constantly on the go together, and that is something we used to always have, and is why our blog was titled crowley party in the first place. I want that "party" back in our relationship.
I could lie to myself and say we don't do as much anymore because of law school and the commitment something like that takes... but lets be honest, isn't there always something? There is always something that we use as an excuse to blame our problems on.

While law school is known as being a notorious time suck, I think I am fooling myself into thinking this issue of spending quality time together and really focusing on still dating each other is linked to school. Because if I am being honest, if it isn't school, it will someday be children, or work, or... you get the idea.

Why is it so hard to just DO IT?!

Well... the new goal is to just finally DO IT! We are going to make this happen, and I hope all you married couples in the same situation decide to join us.
 
... and since were being honest here... you know you all could use some better, fun, quality time with your spouse. Designated, specific time!

My goal is to go on 40 dates with Trevor before the end of the year! A bit lofty, but shoot for the stars right? I want to make sure they are good quality, fun, thought out, planned, and not repeats. I want to make a goal to put more effort into how we date each other. It can be hard to do that when you have busy schedules. So here is to the goal! Lets just hope we can actually think of 40 different things to do! HA! 

Date ideas would be greatly appreciated :) Who is joining me?



87 comments

  1. Picnic in a park with a blanket & camera to capture all of it :)

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  2. This is so cute! You should go to the fair before it ends, go to the zoo, go to a cornmaze/pumpkin patch. There are so many things you can do and the nice thing is that it is getting cooler outside so it's not as much of a hassle to be doing things outside!

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  3. ooh ok I love this and really hope you get more special time together!! How about a night stargazing, drive in movie theater, apple picking,or a camp out! you guys are adorable by the way and if you can make it through law school you can make it through anything!

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  4. Great idea!Some of our favorite dates have been:

    Going to see local sites
    Going to see a local zoo or museum or gallery
    Taking in a car or air show
    Eating out to try a new ethnic or other type of food
    Reliving fun activities from childhood like kite flying, or roller skating (or ice skating)
    A drive in movie (if those near you haven't closed) or a movie in the park
    We enrolled in a dance class and then went out dancing
    Taking in a local football game (bring some hot chocolate)
    Going to a haunted house
    A drive to another (cute) town or a drive out to a lake or mountians etc.

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  5. I think thats a great goal! and your post has inspired me to go on a date tonight with my boyfriend instead of just sit on the couch together.
    kendrrat
    kendrrat.blogspot.com

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  6. Have you heard of 12 dates of Christmas? {i know it's a little early, but when it gets closer} We did it last year and it was lots of fun, although we didn't finish before Christmas ;)
    Meg

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  7. Check out thedatingdivas.com they have some WONDERFUL ideas for dates (some even at home for those tired nights) that are preplanned and ready to use! :) It's worked wonders for the hubbs and me!

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  8. I totally get where you are coming from, hence the name of my blog The Timeless mother, you can read that Time-less as well. I am always strained for time with my family. This week for instance my husband worked from 1:30 - 10pm plus he did some over time and was only off on Thursday, not even the weekends. So we see each other very little. We find ways of making it work, like waking up early just to cuddle in bed before everyone else gets up...you'll make it work!

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  9. I LOVE IT! Good luck!! My situation is this...we've been married 4 years and our baby is about to turn one. Before he came along we were always able to have spontaneous sex and it really made us happy, brought us closer, strengthened our relationship. But since Fred came it is DEFINITELY harder to get done. Either he'd interrupt us, or we were just tired or busy or I didn't feel like it or whatever...excuses. After a while we could see that it was putting a MAJOR STRAIN on our marriage. SO we finally took the advice of many people before us and put it on the calendar. Literally 3 nights a week it on the calendar. If it happens spontaneously, that's awesome, but as lame as it sounds, we know now that it's a priority and has really made us close again! I hope everything goes well and that you get the party back!! xo!

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  10. So we totally are in the same situation. It's absolutely exhausting. Some days through the week I kiss him good bye when he's half asleep and he gets home just in time to kiss me good night as I got to sleep... like 3 whole minutes all day. Sunday nights are prone to sadness because I know it's almost a whole week before we get to spend any time together again.

    We had a long talk about it a few weeks ago and decided we need to make more of an effort so we can make the most of the time we have together seeing as it's so little. Saturday night is date night, it trumps all other plans. We are taking turns planning the date week to week. So far it's great and they've made our weekends so much more to look forward to.

    40 dates sounds like a great idea. Not sure how i'd go fitting them in and not doing any repeats but i can't wait to pinch ideas from you ;) I'll make sure I share so you use some of ours too!

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  11. Drive-in theaters, mini golf, ice skating, football or basketball game, a museum exhibit, carriage ride (by horses), are always fun! Just some ideas :)

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  12. We started making one of those "date jars" that I saw on pinterest. I was able to get a lot of ideas from a couple of websites for cheap/free dates since we don't like to spend a lot of money. Consider your own town or nearby towns, places that you might like to try out, that was a huge help for us especially since San Francisco is about an hour away from us and we don't go there much at all.

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  13. OMG girl, we should make this goal together. My husband to be (our wedding is in 4 weeks!) is in medical residency at Yale and is gone for up to 100 hours per week. It is awful and we never see each other anymore, which can be a huge strain on the relationship. Setting up dates and getting out of the house is key!! We try to get to church whenever we can and plan road trips to fun lil places in the state! :)

    xx Lynzy

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  14. Oh good luck to you! I hope you reach the 40 dates :D Ummmm...I'd say a picnic by the lake in the fall because the leaves are so gorgeous :D Have a great day! Sierra
    Keep growing beautiful!

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  15. 40 dates ... love it! I completely agree. My manfriend and I are both full-time grad students and work about 40 hrs on top of that, so when we do have time we want to just sleep. haha :) I like your time of taking advantage of the time you DO have!

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  16. Oh man! Law school is so stressful! I've been there girl! The first year is the hardest I promise! He'll get used to studying and hopefully manage his time better! I really feel like it went by quick though! My husband did an extra year of law school all while I gave birth in the middle of finals. It was stressful but we're stronger now! I can tell you it's do much better now that he actually works! He got lucky and works at an accounting firm doing tax law so im sure that helps. Anyway, it'll be worth it. I love the 40 dates thing! We need to be way better at that. Especially with a baby it's hard to get out! We just usually watch tv/redbox after he goes to bed... Good luck!

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  17. Love this! You are so right about it always being something. With a new baby, I have found that any down time we do get we just want to be lazy, too. Thanks for the motivation to really make it a goal to spend genuine, thought out time together! :)

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  18. My husband and I would take turns planning dates based on the alphabet. One week we would do things based on "a", next week "b" and so o.

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  19. This is me too :) I'm working full time, Joey is in his 2-L year of law school. I complain a lot too. We don't have a lot of time together either. I want to join you in this challenge. We tend to be lazy together too when we have time to do stuff. I'd love to share ideas together :)

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  20. I can relate to this! our schedules get so busy that we we are home, we too are exhausted and usually just watch tv. I want to be better about intentional time together. I'm going to make that a goal too!

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  21. I totally identify with this. On top of our busy schedules, my husband is an introvert so I tend to want to go out more than him. I've found that I can make those lazy days double as date days. Some of my favorite stay at home dates are: playing a board game together, watching a new movie (or an old one we haven't watched in awhile), cooking a new recipe together, or me spoiling him and making a special breakfast/meal. All of these require putting the laptops & phones away and unless you're watching a movie, turning off the tv! I can't wait to hear about your dates and get some ideas from you!

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  22. aww cutest goal ever - you guys will make it happen.

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  23. aww cutest goal ever - you guys will make it happen.

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  24. such an amazing, honest post! i feel that bloggers are always sharing the pretty, glamorous, fun stuff in their lives (and you can't blame 'em b/c that is the stuff that everyone likes to read about!) but it's also great to have a reminder that nobody's life is perfect and everybody has problems and you still need to work hard to solve those problems! thanks for sharing and i am rooting for you guys! :)

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  25. I love this goal! It is something my husband and I work on as well (me more than him, but still). We are going to a corn maze and apple picking in a few weeks and I am so excited!

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  26. That is a fantastic idea! I work full time and go to school part-time, and my boyfriend goes to school full-time, and works part-time. So between all of that, and housework, and blogging, and errands... we hardly see each other, and we're under the same roof! I can absolutely related, and wish you the best of luck on having 40 dates by the end of the year!

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  27. aw that must be so hard to be apart so much!
    but i know you guys will accomplish your goal!

    i just saw this on pinterest and i thought it had some really cute, original ideas for dates!
    heres the link:

    http://pinterest.com/pin/280208408036205931/

    <3
    Kenzie

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  28. Love this! You know we paddle in the same law school boat with husbands both starting their 2L year after being gone for the summer. We WILL make it! :) Love your honesty and best of luck!

    Amanda
    It's an Easy Life

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  29. Jeff's on his second year of law school too. And our 8 year anniversary is this wednesday, but you guessed it, he'll be at school. It's tough. But we try to make the most of our time here and there. He takes one night a week off from studying to hang out, cook dinner, watch movies... it works. And we just keep focused on the finish line which will be here before we know it! Hugs to you!! xo!

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  30. We do (or at least try to) "20 minutes" 5 times a week. That's dedicated together time. The rules are, no distractions...no kids, no TV, no phones etc. "20 minutes" of talking, touching and just being together. NO PROBLEM SOLVING allowed, and we also like to limit any talk about law school or in-laws (cause that usually can quickly lead to problem solving or frustration). We don't get to do it quite as often as our goal, but when we make it a priority we both are happier and more content with life and the stresses in it. You guys can make the time if you want to...JUST DO IT!

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  31. Hang in there with the school thing. Some of the hardest and best times of our lives were during those 3 yrs of pharmacy school for us. We had to learn how important it was to love,serve, be patient and listen to each other needs, while balancing life with two kids. We did Lots of at home movie dates and cheap fast food! Also once a year for our anniversary we would always splurge and go out for a nice dinner and get a hotel for the night. Did wonders for our marriage. We still keep this tradition. However you are totally right. school makes it tough to spend time together but life will just get busier and you will find that you will always have to figure out how to make dating a priority. Good to establish those habits now.

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  32. I'm a newbie at this marriage thing but I can relate! Life can get so busy that we forget to "date"! My husband and I have committed to implement more of this as well. In fact, this past weekend we had to plan to have no plans, meaning planning to disregard any plans from others in order to have a weekend of quality time to ourselves. We are such people pleasers that this was a tough one but it was well worth it in the end and as a result we had a lovely weekend. Good luck gal :) Some of our favorite dates are picnics, visiting new sites and trying new little coffee shops and bistros. {haven't done this much but it's great when we do}!

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  33. I can so relate to that. so, so much. there is always something and because we're exhausted and tired, we sometimes let it slip and get lazy. even though we know better, we let it happen. to see it and be willing to change is the first step for a change. you'll those 40 ones! love from berlin.

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  34. So good to see you making time for each other- you are right, if it's not law school it will be something else. My husband and I have a designated night and, if something else comes up on that night, it gets moved to another night that week. Date night always happens. And we are busy people, but it's just about prioritising one another over everything else.

    I have blogged about a few of our date nights over here... http://www.thesecretlifeofsamara.com/search/label/date%20night

    This is also an amazingly good website for date ideas, I highly recommend you go check it out (you don't have to check out my blog posts, but I insist that you check out this page! ha ha)

    http://www.thedatingdivas.com/

    Good Luck :)

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  35. Uhgg, I hear ya hun!! My husband and I have extremely busy schedules as well; I feel like the only time I see him is Mon-Fri 10:00 PM to 5:30 AM AND WE'RE SLEEPING DURING THAT TIME. Weekend are filled with friend and family events, so we never get "us" time. It does take it's toll. This summer, we planned out 26 ABC dates, and guess how many we did? 3. THREE! That is terrible. We took the time to make that darn list and didn't even make time for half of them. I wish you two must more success than we had.

    We both have to remember, it will get better. School ends, someday :)

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  36. So open and honest, I do think the dating again idea will really make an improvement.

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  37. we are both working full time and in my free time i am still working freelance and establishing my business. somehow we are still always makeing sure that WE come first. our relationship is our highest prority, helping each other out after long days or just enjoying a meal together helps.
    i think you will find ways now that you are aware and you want to change something. things will happen. take evrey opportunity to spent quality time. and book yourself a little getaway. hugs!

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  38. thats ab awesome idea!! I am in a similar position myself, date nights are a must and something that just doesnt happen often enough cos when we eventually DO get a day off together, it turns into a duvet day on the sofa!!Turns out, i REALLY needed to read this post!
    Thanks for sharing :)
    xx

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  39. I WISH I could join you! Because of my babies (love them!), Brandon and I probably haven't been on 40 dates since we've been MARRIED! Such a great goal for yall though. Good luck!

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  40. This is a great goal and I truly hope you guys will succeed!!!

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  41. I LOVE LOVE this post and your honesty. I barely see my husband too because of his job so I really understand what you're going through. It's so tough to be alone all of the time and then when you do see him we really are exhausted and so just want to watch TV or go to bed. I'm not going to lie but I do cry I lot because I miss him so much. Good luck with your dates and my advice is to just try and find your own happiness and peace within girl time or your hobbies. Law school won't last forever but once he starts working it will be tough to spend time together too. Keep up the great work!

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  42. i'm with you girl. between us both going school, both working, and both getting ready to graduate and looking for internships and me being sick the first 2 weeks of school, it makes it super difficult and i often find my self saying "i'm too tired" and being completely useless, so i'm with you girl.

    we actually we really good this weekend. we did some doubling on friday (went to ice cream, an art show, and roasted marshmallows)
    and saturday went to ikea
    and sunday had the cousins over, quite an accomplishment.

    date ideas:
    drive up the canyon and take fun pictures.
    drink hot chocolate.
    build things out of candy.
    go to ikea.
    bake together.

    sorry i dont have very many ideas. lol.

    K

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  43. i'm ALL about this. my husband and i live 1000 miles apart due to him being in grad school. dates don't have to be going out! tonight he and i are cooking risotto - something we haven't made before - over skype! seriously - pick a kind of complicated meal, something that he can do the chopping and you can cook. buy a fun bottle of wine and rent a movie. drink the wine, put on a fun pandora station, and dance around while you cook. it's one of the best dates ever. we also focus on yelp - we love bookmarking things for each other in yelp - or finding close by day trips. i hope that helps - this post is dear to my heart as a newlywed(kind of, a year and some change is new right? i dunno anymore)
    <3 katherine
    of corgis and cocktails

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  44. Thank you SO much for stopping by, Alycia, and becoming a new follower of my little blog. You have a positively gorgeous space here!

    Since Mr. M is a driller on an oil rig, AND we have a 15 month-old, getting a date night is a huge priority to us. When he's home, we make sure we get out at least once a week -- just the two of us. It may not be that often, but it helps so much! You can do it!

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  45. Making dinner together. Plan an actual 3 course meal--starter, entree, and dessert. Work on at least one of them together. Sit at a real table (if you have one), use real place settings. Keep the TV and phones off. Only thing that should be "on" are some candles.

    Good luck! It's an important goal you've set for you and your husband.

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  46. Aw! So cute. :-) Hope you meet this goal, Alycia!

    Thanks so much for your comments - I always appreciate them. :-)

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  47. I am so glad you wrote this post! This is the story of our lives. Its so hard but I am know it will be worth it in the end. We are carving out our futures and just need to be patient and press forward.

    I am with you on the 40 dates idea! First date is this Thursday!

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  48. Wonderful idea! My hubby and are aren't quite that busy but we do know the importance of continually dating each other. We have a date each weekend. Some are repeats but we think it is ok as long as we develop the habit! School and work is what takes our time up and even if we lose some sleep, we make sure to at least go on a walk or sway in the kitchen. Those times are perfect! On days we can't see each other we use our journal. We have a little journal we pass to each other (kind of like love notes) and talk about our days our thoughts and our feelings. That way we are always communicating! Plus it's just so fun and so much better than text messages! Anyway... sorry for the long comment but it is just so important! I'm so sorry this time has been difficult. You will pull through! and you will get stronger! Lots of love and good wishes!

    xoxo
    Liesl

    woodsy-soiree.blogspot.com

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  49. Mr. A and I have always reserved Saturday nights as date nights. No matter how busy we get, we always go out and eat dinner, walk around places, etc. It's something fun to look forward to on the weekends, and it is special time set aside for just the two of us. Even though he will be working on Saturdays starting next week, we are still going out -- albeit a little later than usual -- because we set that time aside. It really helps us.

    http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
    Twitter: @GlamKitten88

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  50. 40 dates in the next 111 days is pretty ambitious. Our problem is finding dates that are fun and cheap. But we just went to the fair, so you should do that in the next couple weeks before it ends and you should also go to Oktoberfest at Snowbird.

    But cheaper date wise, go on a walk together, we love the duck pond south of byu campus. Like a few people had said before cook dinner together. Go to the dollar theater. Watch a movie at home with popcorn and treats. Finger paint together . Side walk chalk together. Go to the farmer's market and walk around. Go dancing. Go to a concert.

    You should do a post of the 40 dates you do end up doing.

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  51. How cute is this idea?!?! 40 dates... perfect!! I know what you mean... lazy time isn't always the good ol' quality time, especially if you're in front of the TV. My hubs works allll day every day.. including Sundays! TRUTH! I have just learned to pull his attention away while we eat din din or during commercials LOL.

    Your idea sounds great though... can't wait to hear more about your dates, especially since you won't be doing REPEATS!

    xo, Bev

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  52. Having a relationship today is definitely harder than it used to be. My boyfriend and I have been dating since high school and since we graduated college, we both have been doing the long distance thing. It's hard, we both know that, but as long as we're in each other's lives, that's all that matter. Period. The end. Good luck with you and your hubby. I think you can achieve your goal :)

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  53. I'm sorry Alycia! That is SO hard. BUT it will be over before you know it and it will be a distant memory! He does sound REALLY busy so when he's done, even when you have kids, you'll get to spend a lot more time together I think than you do now. But yes, definitely make the most of the time you have together! It's so easy to just sit on the couch and sleep but go out on fun dates and stuff! It will get you through till the next fun date! :) Let's do a girls night, those make EVERYTHING better! :)

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  54. My husband is not in law school and I'm sure I'm not nearly as busy as you - but I feel the exact same way! We are always exhausted and just want to veg... but when we do decide to go out and do something, it is always worth it! We really enjoy going and playing tennis together, (Even though I'm terrible!) and we usually will pick up some frozen yogurt as well :) I hope it gets better for you!!

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  55. Go to a drive in! We did that once and it was SO much fun, pack a picnic, bring warm cozy blankets and prepare to have a blast! :)

    xoxo andrea
    www.yesterdaystomorrowblog.com

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  56. I think I'll have the same dilemma! My bf just started Law school and he's been so busy he barely has time to talk to me! If you were in LA I would have recommended Disneyland hehe!!

    -Stephanie
    @LaminLouboutins.blogspot.com

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  57. you can DO IT!!!! sometimes the simple important things can be so hard, but i think that makes doing them that much more rewarding.

    my dear friend's husband just finished law school and the bar. you might like checking out her perspective:

    http://meredithtuttle.blogspot.com/2011/09/law-wives-from-coast-to-coast-erica.html

    northmeetssouth.com

    hang in there!

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  58. What a great goal! Oh, and I totally understand because my husband and I were going through the same thing. I imagine when I am employed here that it will be even crazier.

    Figure out the scenic routes around Utah, go ding-dong-ditching with plates of treats, investigate ghost towns (there are a lot around Provo, actually), make a goal to figure out the best place to find hot dogs or cupcakes in the valley, bowling...and I can't think of any more right now.

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  59. What a lovely post! I loved reading this, because I feel like I am exactly in your shoes... as are most young married couples. That fact alone, always bring reassurance that I'm not the only wifey who doesn't get to see her husband as much as she wants! This is inspiring....I'm anxious to make an effort to plan some fun things to do, even if it's just for ten minutes! xo

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  60. what a great post! I know I am not married, but I feel the same about my relationship with my boyfriend...it is hard not to let life get into the way. I admire you guys!

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  61. that's the spirit! me and my boyfriend just moved back to our parents' houses to save money and we don't live together anymore- so i feel you on how hard it is to not spend every waking moment together any more. and i think you're totally right- there's always going to be something so you shouldn't use law school as an excuse anymore. i think it'd be nice to do a lot of out doorsy things while it's still nice- go on picnics, have dates on restaurant or bar patios, take walks in woods. i always feel like it's so much more fun than being cooped up somewhere

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  62. grad school is rough. i know i lived it with my hubby (+2 littles). congrats to renewing real dates!

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  63. I totally get you! This morning my hubby and I decided to plan out our dates for the rest of September. This Friday we are going rock climbing!! I am pretty stoked!! I can't wait to see what you guys come up with! Hang in there! The sacrifice will be worth it!

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  64. I feel for ya! Great goal too! My favorite date we've done lately is an "around the world date." We "went" to Morocco for appetizers, Mexico for dinner, and France for dessert. I wrote about it here if you want more ideas: http://lifemedschoolwife.blogspot.com/2012/08/around-world-date.html

    Have so much fun on your dates!

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  65. Wonderful idea! We love to go out to lunch on dates, because it's less expensive and then you can be "romantic" cooking dinner at home, haha :) If you guys eat sushi, those places tend to have lunch specials that are on the cheaper side!

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  66. Ooh, good luck! It can be really hard to figure out different things to do. The last date we came up with was a night at Boomer's.. for mini golfing and arcade games. It seems silly but ended up being SO much fun.
    (I was living off Aero drive, in the Tierresanta/Murphy Canyon area. Working up in Carmel Mtn and driving down to Coronado almost every day to see my boyfriend. So I was all over the place! Ha)

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  67. That is an awesome goal!! I love the name of your mantra. DO IT. I always say that (but in the Starsky and hutch accent!) Good luck and have fun on those 40 dates!

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  68. Holy moly, that's a lot of dates!

    My vote is for picnic! :)

    And keep your chin up - things will get better!!

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  69. I love your blog--I just found it today (through you finding mine), and I already love how freshly HONEST you are. So often blogs seem to only talk about the stuff on the surface and not the struggles that we can all relate to. I find it so invigorating every time I find a blog that has some substance behind the fun stuff. Keep up the awesome work!

    As for date ideas, my husband and I like to go on themed "photo walks" together. For example, we'll go on a photo walk and take pictures of something from every color of the rainbow, or take things in groups of three, etc. It's a fun (and free!) date that allows us lots of time to talk and explore our creativity together.

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  70. OOOH...I love date nights!!! I just posted a list on my blog ---- not fancy by any means, but a little more out of the ordinary :)

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  71. I adore this idea! I think I may have to copy it in fact! Okay...date ideas...Drive in Movie...make sure to get shakes and In N Out! Bike ride on the beach (get tacos for dinner), a dance lesson, a running date or a yoga date, classical music, date night in with a classic movie and spaghetti....dude I could go on with this. Clearly I've been thinking about it. Haha.

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  72. Oh, I totally get you. There are times when me and my fiancee are busy with things and we just don't find time for ourselves. But when we do, we are lazy :). It' normal. I think that in time all of these issues will work out just fine :). As long as the love is there - no problemos! ;)
    Hey, thanks for your comment, it means a lot :).

    xx
    http://gita-oddsandends.blogspot.com/

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  73. That's awesome to know there's still work to be done even though you're already committed to each other. I agree it's super difficult. We're at a slump too because I'm 8.5 months pregnant and there's not much we can do at this point but get baby ready. But we decided once we get into the swing of things with our little one, we're going to make date time for us as well, to get back to having fun together! There's no time for laziness when it comes to love. :)

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  74. I completely understand. My husband travels alot, and we have two children that are actively involved in sports. When I say alot, I mean he is now on a ten day trip to Israel. Two weeks after we got married, he was out of town for a week.
    And, let me tell you, you have to just do it. After 16 years of marriage, I can tell you that I tell my husband that we need a date. It doesn't have to be anything special. Just time alone without the children. Sometimes it's just coffee and pasty at Starbucks. Two weeks ago, it was lunch at an Italian restaurant. Just do something to reconnect and make it regularly scheduled. That's the only way to just do it.

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  75. Oh Alycia! I totally feel ya on this one. I honestly had no idea how time consuming law school would be. I live for the weekends and especially Sunday when I actually see Seth. I am hoping this 2nd year isn't as crazy as the first year for both of us. I love your idea of 40 dates. We have been trying to do more dates that allow us to get to know our new city. Good luck!

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  76. Totally with you on this.... my husband has started his first year of Law school at BYU as well, let the fun begin huh! We have a baby and finding time for just us has already become a challenge... 3 years of this... yikes! We just recently decided that every Wednesday night is date night no matter what, and we have to do something fun with just us, even if it's just for an hour, I look forward to it so much. But what a fun goal for you guys! Good luck!

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  77. Dear Alycia~ I understand. And even when you get older, you still desire that time! We, for the first year ever are getting about 1 hour in the evening and that is after 33 years of marriage. So you do survive it. I am 54 and am finally getting to talk to my husband late at night. I call it "happy hour!" Instead of 8-9pm being the worst hour of the day, I'm trying to make it the best hour of the day. It can be done :)

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  78. Love that you're making this a priority. And 40 dates- you guys can totally do it! Make dinner together, go on evening walks, go grab ice cream dessert after dinner, go to a coffee shop with him and blog/ pinterest/ whatever while he studies. That can count too! Having a hubby in school is hard but finding little bits of time to be together makes such a difference. You go girl! ;)

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  79. I can SO relate to your frustrations and feelings on a busy husband's schedule. My hubs is a business owner (CPA and financial planner) so there is literally no downtime for him/us... especially during tax season which is right around the corner. It's really hard for us to carve out special and thought out time as well b/c like you, we're just 'tired' when we have free time together. But you are SO right in that you need to make time for intentional dates and time together. This post is perfect timing for us.. I am going to take your advice and do the same. Thanks for sharing and good luck! :)

    xoxo

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  80. feed the ducks.
    late night s'mores over the stove.
    go "chalk" someone's driveway with notes & pictures
    give someone's front door a "heart attack" -- little & big hearts all over their door with fun quotes & sayings.
    carve pumpkins
    play a card game with music from your middle school days playing in the background
    make a silly skit playing all different kinds of characters (then us as your readers benefit because we get to see it too)
    hot chocolate run to 7/11 & redbox movie night

    some random ideas but hopefully some of them will appeal to you and be fun! :)

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  81. I feel ya, my (new!) husband and i used to work together and we spent all day talking and eating lunch together...well then he got a new job and he takes the train and he is gone from 7am - 8:30pm, and then 3 nights a week I nanny until 10pm. It sucks so much because i looove spending all my time with him. We always say we are going to do stuff when we are together but we end up just laying in bed watching tv, haha. we need more dates! and not having enough money (damn wedding costs!) isnt a good excuse bc there is plenty of free things to do!

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  82. This looks like so much fun! I love your braids :)

    xo,
    Amy
    itwasloveat.blogspot.com

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  83. Oh girl I am right there with you on that one! law school is SUCH a time suck and I always feel like I am depriving my boyfriend of meaningful time because I am stressed or working or something. We have tried really hard to do stuff just for us and maintain a healthy relationship outside of school because just like you said, it will be school or kids or a job or something! I'm glad to hear someone else in the same situation and doing something positive about it :)

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  84. dates are a must. i am totally lame right now and my goal is to date at least two times a month. which is hard because i have to get sitters. i usually make one date be "fun" and the other is a temple date.
    i hope you are able to accomplish your date goal and that you guys are able to have more time together!

    here is one of my favorite dates: steal a lawn ornament from a neighbor and take pictures of it all over town then return the ornament on their doorstep with the photos. totally illegal and totally awesome. amen.

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  85. So I'm new to your blog, and loving it! Thanks for posting on mine so I could find you! We're all about date nights and have ideas on my blog (fridaywereinlove.blogspot.com). I recently was interviewed for The BYU newspaper The Universe about ideas if we lived in Provo. I hope some help you- I think you're awesome for making this a priority! Check out our Provo favorites here:

    http://fridaywereinlove.blogspot.com/2012/07/were-featured.html

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