no more apologies.

 
I went to a Utah Blogger meet up the other week and had a blast. I felt so comfortable around the other girls and I really was myself around them. This isn't to say I am not usually myself... it is pretty hard for me to be anything but myself. But it got me thinking about who I am, and how I am on this blog. I share a lot of who I am on this blog, but I find myself holding back certain things because of fear. What if I offend someone if I say this? Or what if someone judges me if I do this and post it?

While I don't really hold back too much on my blog, I definitely edit myself. At first I thought I was doing so because it is the courteous thing to do if you know other people are reading your blog, but then I realized it is mostly fear. Fear of what people might say or think about me. Some of the girls that night of the blogger meet up were surprised at how outgoing I was, loud, and fun... yeah, I will say I am fun, haha. This kind of made me realize just how much of my personality I must be holding back when it comes to my blog, because if you ask any of my friends in my personal life, they would tell you I am a good time.

I guess what it all comes down to is... just because you read someone's blog, doesn't mean you really know them. You can only convey so much of who you are over the internet, over a blog, with words. Some people don't want to share everything, sometimes people's personalities might read a little different online then they really do in person. Some bloggers I have been following for the past two years, and I feel like I really know them. While I might feel a connection, I do have to remind myself that just because we are online friends that chat every now and then, doesn't mean I fully understand all the things that make up this person.

So I guess what I have come to is, I want to be a little more honest on this blog about my thoughts & feelings and not fear so much what other people might think, or if they will be offended. I don't want to offend, but sometimes people are sensitive, lets be honest haha! 

I know I will always edit to a degree when it comes to my blog because I don't believe in saying everything that comes to your mind just because you thought it. If we all did that we would be in big trouble... but I would like to be a little more brave when it comes to sharing. Being a bit more open. It is easier for me to do this in person because I have a great sense of reading people. I can tell if someone is comfortable or getting uncomfortable, and I know how far I can take a story or a conversation based off that. I can't do that online. I can't tell if you are feeling weird, or sad, or mad or anything. I can't read your body language or emotions because I am not WITH you. Usually I have the mentality that, this is my blog, if you don't like, don't read it. And I still do agree with that, your blog is YOUR space, do what you will. But at the same time, I do care about other people and if they are misunderstanding me, or if I am making someone feel uncomfortable. Am I making any sense?

These are pretty random and jumbled thoughts I have going on here... but I was just curious... what are your views on this when it comes to blogging?
Have you felt that some people make assumptions about you based on your blog? 
Do you feel yourself editing your content sometimes because your afraid to offend people, or that others will judge you?
 Just some food for thought. Let your brain just chew on it for a bit.

54 comments

  1. The thing I love about some blogs are actually vlogs...like the hair tutorial you did some time ago. One thing is to see pics and read their thoughts, a whole other level is actually hearing and seeing bloggers in real life (even if just through a computer screen).

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  2. i think that you should share on your blog anything and everything that you are comfortable sharing. this is YOUR space and it's all about what makes you feel good about what you're putting out there.

    not everyone is going to like everything that you have to say, but some things that you may share may really help others relate to you. i always try to stay open, honest and true to myself on my blog... because i think it's important to blog for YOU and not anyone else. have i lost readers because of some of the things i have shared? sure... but who cares, i've gained others by those same posts.

    people are going to love you no matter what, and the blogs i enjoy reading the most are those who are the most honest :)

    xx, kara

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  3. I feel the same way! I was so sad I couldn't make it to the meet up! I heard it was a blast! P.S. I'm pretty sure I saw you at Smith's in Provo the other night...lol but didn't know if you'd recognize me (then ensuing awkward "hi, I only kind of know you online")! HAve a great day!

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  4. I have the same sentiment about my blog. I want to share and be honest with my readers, but at the same time, I feel like I have to reserve a bit of privacy and my personal life to a degree. It's a hard balance deciding what to share and what not to, but I say go with what feels right for you!

    Jen
    www.houseofjeffers.com

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  5. I've never worried about what I post for fear of negative comments because that's what delete buttons are for. haha Not everyone is going to agree with all my opinions, on my blog or in person. If there is something you feel strongly about, don't feel afraid to post - you can always disable comments for that particular post if you didn't want feedback. :)

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  6. I think this was a great reminder today! I was fearful of even starting a blog in the first place. I had a fear of being rejected...of starting something that I would grow to love, only not being accepted and it coming to an end... I have to say that everyone has been so kind and inviting! I tend to worry about what others think of me...but this week I even posted a crazy dorky video of myself dancing...SO ME TO DO....SO NOT LIKE ME TO POST. :) Just keep posting my dear! I adore your posts!

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  7. ah, I totally feel the SAME way. I just started blogging and I find myself being super unsure of whats ok to share or say because I am concerned about what I am saying and how its being interpreted. I definitely think your fun-ness comes across on your blog though :) you go girl!

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  8. I have definitely felt the same way. And then when it comes down to it, my favorite posts have been the ones where I decided not to hold back.

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  9. I wish I could've met you! Now I'm a little jealous… Girl, you are definitely a good time. I can just tell these things. ;)

    Be who you are. It's ok to be honest and open. It's also ok to be censored and hold back just a little. I like how you put it "I don't believe in saying everything that comes to your mind just because you thought it" - Couldn't have said it better.

    But, being vulnerable and honest has its pluses - more people can relate to the real life stuff that we go through and in turn can really help them in some way! :)

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  10. Interesting observation! I found that I am probably more outgoing on my blog than in real life because it's easier to express myself there.

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  11. People are going to judge you on your blog. Not so much what you don't say, but on the things that you do. It's like judging a pretty girl that walks by or a hot guy in a bar. We don't mean to, but secretly we are in fact "Judging". I reveal what I want. Sometimes they are deep personal posts, and a lot of the time they are "fluff" because let's be real, most bloggers want to read about sunshine and rainbows not the stormy weather. It is what it is.

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  12. You need to come to our Sassy Scoops part next Thursday night. They are always tons of fun.

    I really only put hte sarcastic, funny side of me on my blog. But obviously, I am a fairly well rounded person. But I understand that people are going to judge me based upon what I choose to show to them. And really, if that's all I choose to share, what else do they have to go on?

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  13. I feel like you should write what you want :) If someone doesn't like it then they don't have to read it. You can't please everyone. I try not to worry to much about people judging...its not easy, but life is easier when you don't stress about that kind of thing. I'm a new follower and so far I like what you write :) You seem like a fun person!

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  14. I love that you are thinking about being more open and honest. I had a long talk about this with my mom a couple weeks ago. I get scared of showing the real me, and afraid people are going to judge or say mean things to me or my family about what I say on my blog. That is also why I posted about my mom's mental illness a few days ago. I was tired of hiding that part of my life. I want people to know the real me. Not just the good things, and think that I think my life is perfect, because it is not. Wow, this is getting to be a long comment, so I will end it with: I enjoy reading your blog, and will keep reading it even if you don't edit your thoughts or posts as much =)

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  15. I try to share everything as honestly and openly as I can, even if it embarrasses me in the long run. I do sometimes edit my language though, because I do fear being misunderstood and judged. In real life, I'm a chick who swears, more than infrequently, so I shouldn't be scared to include choice words if that is how I can properly express whatever it is I'm feeling.

    But I still do it anyway, because I'm lame.

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  16. i say who cares, share what YOU want.
    you are a fun girl, I got that through your posts before I met you but I think bloggers should post whatever their hearts desire. Whatever they feel comfortable with. that's the beauty of blogging, it's the freedom of publishing your words.

    And remember, you're always your worst critic.

    Lindsay

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  17. It's nice to hear this perspective. I had a similar feeling when I went to my blogger meetup recently and it was refreshing to learn. Thanks for sharing.

    - Sarah
    http://agirlintransit.blogspot.com/

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  18. Definitely! I love when bloggers are real and let their personality shine. :)

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  19. Be YOU.
    And don't be afraid to hold back.
    Most of us love you lots now... and I think that being you even more will make us love you even more!!

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  20. I think it's good for anyone to be them self. I think the one thing that is a little tough about blogging is that sometimes the back lash can be a little mean because sometimes the onlline world doesn't view you as a person.. does that make sense?

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  21. Hey Alycia! Just hopped over from Mary & Dyers...now your 1880th follower. Really hop you stop by & follow me back xoxo
    http://www.intotheblonde.com/

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  22. I love this. I have been feeling the same way lately too. Here is to being more 'real'

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  23. Good post, Alycia. It's hard to be honest on your blog. I will edit some posts 20 times before publishing because I'm afraid someone will take it the wrong way. But I just have to remember that there will always be SOMEONE who gets offended, no matter how careful I am. That's just how it goes!

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  24. I know what you mean. I am always afraid of being judged, and for that reason I hold back SO MUCH of my personality on my blog. I need to loosen up and just feel free though, because it IS my space to be me. I LOVE your blog, and it is YOUR space to be you!! Keep up the great work!

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  25. You are you and that is the best gift!! Never be afraid to embrace that :) I think your doing an awesome job at it!

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  26. i say whatever i want to say on my blog...thats not to say that i ever say anything rude or hurtful, cause thats not who i am. but for me, ive never cared what anyone has ever thought of me. i could care less if no one but my mamma read my blog...i just speak my mind. and if people disagree with my opinions, thats great! were all different, were not all going to agree, life would be super lame if we did. so yeah...thats my two cents :)

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  27. this post was just so perfect girl. we should never apologize for who we are. and we just always have to remember that as bloggers, this is OUR blogs, our lives and it doesn't matter what other people who don't even know you think about you.
    that being said, i'm so sad i missed out on the blogger party and missed our on your fun "loud" personality :)
    xo TJ

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  28. As a new blogger, I am so excited that I found your site (via Mary & Dyer) and read this piece. I've been having these same thuoghts/doubts. With the on-line world, it is hard to know what others think.
    And I DO think people make assumptions of you based on your blog. I guess it is up to each person to decide if they are going to let that fact impact them negatively. Perhaps that is why most bloggers I love have a sunny, positive disposition!
    XO - Marion
    PS - I love your blog!

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  29. This is a wonderful post and really conveys my thoughts exactly!! I am not super open about certain things in my life (like love or really serious issues/problems) so my blog is usually just about fluff stuff, so I think people might assume I am always happy, and that's not always the case. I am glad you posted this, it made sense to me :)

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  30. Oh wow I absoulutely adore your blog! Am so glad that you did a guest post at Mary and Dyer's blog! Am following :)

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  31. I do think that you can give too much information on a blog - like the one your sister did. Even Nana commented on that one!

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  32. i think you should definitely be as honest as you want, but should never feel pressure to put your whole life on a bloggy! it's just a place to document and tell stories and share whatever things you want, if you ask me :)

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  33. This is true. I'm not too much of an editor on my blog-- the way I see it, it's my blog for my thoughts, ideas, and feelings, and if you choose to read my blog, you are subjecting yourself to how I see the world. That being said, I only have 50 follower and not 1,000+ and so I've never had a hater come talk smack to me. But I love blogs where I feel like I get to know people well and I hope to be like that as well.

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  34. I share a lot of my feelings on my blog because it's how I process that emotion, for the most part people are really supportive.

    As you say, it is your space and it is perfectly ok to voice your opinions and emotions here!

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  35. I think that is a great idea, however...I think you already seem fun :-D

    I hold certain stuff back while blogging, like I am not going to cry myself a river when things go wrong on my blog, but if I can say something minimal and helpful with something that is going on...I will. Does that make sense? That was a huge sentence haha

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  36. I love, love, love that you wrote this post and it rings so true within me as well! Thank you for this!

    You make so many wonderful and very true points and I have learned the older I get that honesty and being true to yourself and your feelings is something you should speak up about and be okay with! :)

    I have slowly been more open with feelings and thoughts as they are happening on my blog...I have always been myself, but just showing a little more of it! :)

    Thank you for throwing this out there...again, I love it and your blog no matter how you are feeling that day because it represent you and as you said this is YOUR space! Woo Hoo!

    Liesl :)

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  37. Don't hold back. You're hilarious & deep down you know it.

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  38. I agree with you. I think honesty really makes people get to know the real, true you...but as bloggers, we can't help but edit ourselves. We know our words/photos will reach anyone & everyone, and so we try to make it look pretty first. I love honest bloggers. :)

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  39. You go girl! Let it all out. ;)

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  40. Very well put love. I edit myself as well, but I think we kind of do that in every day life anyway. Love this post :)

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  41. the best thing about this medium is that it's all yours. this your space to write and express...to be. we're just merely invited....and happy to be here.

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  42. I have felt like some people make certain assumptions about me based on my blog. And Yes, I do find myself editing quite a lot because I do not want to offend people, as well as people getting very angry. I need to work on this. I'm not one to care what people think, and I do not hide my religious matters, or anything i believe. I do hide how i feel at times. But it's my blog--I should say what I feel, as long as it isn't..you know..completely explicit if you know what i mean. this was a good && needed post. thank you.

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  43. Hi there! I was reading through some of my old posts today reminiscing. You had commented a while back when I was moving from NYC to SF and I realized I never wrote back! I constantly struggle with how much to share. I think ultimately, you sort of "grow into your blog," and slowly discover how much you are willing to share. I've amazed myself at how much I've shared with absolute strangers and I always seem to get a more positive response when I do. Anyway, now that I'm a follower, I encourage you to share as much as you're comfortable with! I love when I can decipher a little about someone's personality through their writing.

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  44. Well, first of all, I'm sad I don't live in Utah anymore because that meet-up would have been awesome! Second, I'm glad you wrote this. I'm at a point in my life where I'm really diving deep into finding out who I truly am. My world recently got turned upside down soon after I started my blog, and it's been interesting and frustrating to find the balance between writing about my life and staying true to myself while also "editing" myself.

    I appreciate the bloggers I've come across that open up about hardships and struggles because I personally find it much easier to relate to those people than the ones who just post on fashion and materialistic things, although those posts are always fun! However, I know many people just want the sunshine and rainbows approach. Do what you are comfortable with and just be sure to stay true to YOU. I've found myself trying to please others and in doing so, I would lose myself and my voice. Like you said, we can only express so much of ourselves through our blogs :)

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  45. I get annoyed sometimes because I'm pretty open on my blog and it results in people, even close friends, thinking I'm struggling so badly and that I am in need of a reminder to love life and be appreciative. In all reality, I find myself to be very optimistic and grateful and happy. I feel misunderstood often, but it's my own fault. I'm the one who let's it all out on my blog! It's my way to get my emotions out though, and so I take the consequences and hope people realize I really am so happy. Ha :)

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  46. i eventually just decided my blog was for me. my outlet, my stories, my ideas. and if someone didn't like it they didnt have to read it. it was too mind consuming caring what others thought! i love your new header!

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  47. I really don't edit a ton. Some people say I'm too open, but I don't really care. It's my space.

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  48. Honestly, I think it's okay to edit. We censor ourselves in real life around certain people, so we can censor ourselves on our blogs. It took a lot of guts to share a really big piece of me on my blog a few weeks back because I kept wondering "what if..." but then I got good feedback. No judgement, nothing that I had anticipated. So being ourselves and editing ourselves are both a-okay!

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  49. I definitely catch myself doing some editing. I end up thinking...hmm well what will so and so think if they read this? It's completely silly!

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  50. It's funny you mention all this, because just this last month I started opening up more and more. I used to only share the happy moments thinking I was sparing my reader from boring stuff, but then, like you, I realized it was fear. Last week I talked about depression, and the e-mails and comment started pouring in thanking me. Now I realize that we need a little more "raw reality" every now and then. It's refreshing. I can't wait to read more of your honesty! xo

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  51. i really appreciate this post. i appreciate even more people who are brave enough to be themselves, no matter where they are. this is something i struggle with at times. so this was an ecouragment. :)

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  52. We talked a little bit about this when we met, but for me I haven't shared a lot of my family drama mainly because it involves other people. Although a lot of things are my story, I feel at times it would be exploiting family members to people who won't understand them and may judge them harshly.

    I totally know what you mean.

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  53. I love your blog! Hey, I would LOVE to know when the next Utah Blogger meet up is. I want to meet new people. People let me know! My website and email is:
    Stylewithshannon.com
    Styleshannon@gmail.com

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  54. I think this is definitely true for all nloggers, we all edit ourselves- whether we want to keep things more personal, hide the negative bits to life or portray yourself in a different light than perha[s your 'real life' friends see you as. I'm much more onilne than Whitney and she definitely sees it more than I do.

    M x

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