(Yes, I am actually in San Diego right now, hanging out with my best friends :) be jealous, the weather is perfect.)
Normally I would do my 30 for 30 post along with my Life Should be a Party post, but today I just wanted to share something along with my new series. I have always been an extremely social person. I am as far from shy as someone could ever get. I am loud, talkative and I always want to be around people. I am a people person. When I moved from San Diego to Utah for college, I was excited to meet new people and get a different experience. A new experience is something I sure got! My freshman year at a very small college in Utah gave me a new taste in life I had never had. In the long run, the small town and small school was just not the right fit for me. I never felt completely comfortable there, and while the people were great, I just didn't feel the connections and clicks that matched the strong group of friends I had back in California. Some of the friends I made at that school still stay in touch, but ultimately we all all went our separate ways, as I transferred on to the University of Utah.
Literally my first week in Salt Lake City I met Trevor. I pretty much hung with him for the next year. I did make some girlfriends in Salt Lake, but they all had "their group" of great girlfriends and friends, and I couldn't help but always feeling like the 5th wheel. But I didn't care so much, I was enamored with my new boyfriend and was having a blast. So at the end of that summer Trevor and I got married, and started our life together as husband and wife. The first year of our marriage I was so focused in my school work and being married, I didn't focus too much on the fact that I hadn't really made any close friends in Utah. I almost feel bad saying this because I have made friends in Utah, some great people! However it just didn't feel comparable to the handful of amazing friends all in San Diego, that I wish I could just call and hang out with and be with again. In the past six months I guess you could say my sparkly, bubbly, friend making personality has taken a turn for the worst. I don't want to say I have been depressed, but I have been having an extremely hard time being away from my friends. I had never seen this side of my personality because making friends and having friends has NEVER been difficult for me, and here I was, having problems with feeling like I didn't have any close friendships outside of my marriage. All my friends were gone, and I felt really alone.
A month or so ago our home teacher came over and gave us a lesson about looking for the good in our lives. He expressed how too often we focus on the bad things, and the things that are upsetting us, that we don't realize all the good things around us. He challenged us to look for the good in our lives. I realized that I had been so focused on missing my friends, I was making myself sad and upset all the time about it when I had so many wonderful things going on in my life. I am not saying that I am 100% better right now. I still miss my friends back home like crazy, and wish I was closer to home to spend time with them. But I have realized that life does go on, and there are new adventures out there for me, and it is up to me to change my state of mind. I have always been good at doing that before, so it has been hard for me to accept that I have let my emotions take over my actions like this. I think this is something I will be working on for awhile, but I am excited to try and enter our new situation of moving to Provo as a fresh new start. I want to try harder to create those friendships and make some life lasting relationships with people around me. I know my friends from California are not going anywhere, and when I come home I can always have time with them. I wish I could have more time sometimes, but I need to focus on the life I have and why I have so much to be happy for.
So here we go my list of little to big things I have been celebrating in my life as of late....
+ having a loving and supporting husband that cares about how I feel.
+ getting to have some alone time with my parents! I have never been alone with them before for over 24 hours, it feels kind of weird but I like it :)
+ having friends that love me and care about me, no matter how much time has passed, and how much distance there is between us.
+ perfect weather.
+ the beauty of the earth. seriously. I went on a run with my parents the other night and the canyons are just breathtaking.
+ summer vacation :)
+ FRESH TANGERINES! yum
+ Pinterest YES, I am going to celebrate Pinterest because I am in love with it haha
+ my parents 30 years ago TODAY getting married in the Cardston temple :)
Oh and here is something for all of you to celebrate.... I realized last Friday I forgot to put an end date on the giveaway post. So lucky for you guys, you all get until Wednesday to still enter the amazing Rainy Day Dangles Giveaway! :) haha
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Howdy Ho! Hahaha! I say that sometimes. I love this post so much. You sound like me when I moved to California from Texas. This post hit so close to home! I love all the things you are loving as well. Xoxo!
ReplyDeleteWow! I had a similar experience! I live in San Diego and grew up here. When I was 18 I moved to Michigan where my family is from. I felt the same exact way you did and moved back to SD! It was hard for me to find a group of friends that could relate to me the same way my friends did back home. I do love Midwestern people though! They are so friendly and simple it's refreshing to be around when I visit I just wouldn't be happy living there 24/7.
ReplyDeleteI truly love this post!! Good stuff.
ReplyDeleteI love this post!! Life can get busy, hard and challenging, but focusing on the good- whether big or small, is such a good outlook on life!
ReplyDeleteI am also a pintrest addict!
XO
http://simplicityisultimatesophistication.wordpress.com/
I feel like making friends as you get older is harder than when you were younger...not sure why...maybe b/c everyone is so busy and priorities change. Such is life though...and I'm glad you are making the best of it! Great post!
ReplyDeleteso many wonderful things to celebrate in life!! caring friends, supportive husbands, and parents that are still happily married are things that you just can't take for granted! not to mention summertime :)
ReplyDeletehey my parents got married in the Cardston temple 27 years ago! haha almost the same :) I can totally relate with the making friends after being married and moving away from all your friends you grew up with. It's hard!!! looks like you are having a blast :)
ReplyDeleteYou are just gorgeous! Well all you girls are. Great lost of things you are celebrating! I think it is so important to have a husband is supportive and loving...def worth celebrating
ReplyDeletei can completely relate. the past few years have been really hard since i've moved around so much and my dear friends don't live as close as they used to and i find i just haven't met a lot of people that i click with. i feel like i appreciate my closest and longest friends more than i ever did before though when i am able to get together with them or we're in the same city for a few weeks. friends will come and go (i like to call those kind the "filler friends") but those friends that you can meet up with after years of separation and pick up where you left off, ya those are the ones that will be there forever.
ReplyDeleteIm happy for you! Cant wait to hear about your new adventures and all the new friends your going to make!
ReplyDeleteI can definitely relate to this. Best of luck to you in finding the good and starting on this new path! :)
ReplyDeleteI saw that you commented on my roomates blog.. it made me really happy!.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog.
It's cute.
I think you're adorable
xoxo.
Good for you for looking at the positive Alycia! I totally understand what you're going through and how you feel. I'm a total extrovert, but moving around and growing older has certainly changed the way I meet and make friends. I'm always grateful knowing that my friends are back home loving me as always.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I'm in love with Pinterest too! And nature is just simply stunning and we can only imitate what God creates!
xoxo
It definitely gets harder to make close friends as you get older but having a wonderful husband is great! Looking for the positive and realizing the good in your life will pay off :)
ReplyDeleteI think my favorite thing about the blog world is when people share candidly about their lives and this post is one of those little jewels! I left my home state of CA (lived there for 25 years) and moved to NC where we knew no one except grandparents who were 2 hours away and we never saw them. Everyone warned me of how hard the move could be because of our lack of friendships so with all of those warnings I think I came with a very prepared mind. I think it has been a little easier for us than for some people because we knew this is where we were supposed to be and we got involved as soon as we got here with our church so we could meet other couples. That helped so much! The fact of the matter is though...not a day goes by that I don't pine for my family in CA,my dear friends in CA and VA and OR. Those friendships are by far the easiest and most comfortable and I miss them dearly but, I hope that 10 years form now more of my friendships here will be as deep and meaningful. I pray that for you too! What you are feeling is sooooooo normal and that funk is something I understand well. I hope God fills you abundantly with friendships that have great fun and depth where you are now!! Thanks for being real!
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate. Friendships change as you get older and people's lives naturally drift apart, but those friends you have from San Diego are still your friends and just because you don't live in the same place doesn't mean you can't be close. It is hard though. But hey, in the blogging world you have a lot of friends! That's part of the reason I want to come to the blogger meet up because I know I need to make some new friends that I'll have a lot in common with!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE Pinterest too! Isn't it the best? Constant flow of inspiration...
ReplyDeletethank you for this post. this is the reason why i love blogging so much. constant flow of inspiration at the time i need it most. this is exactly what i needed to hear right now.
ReplyDeleteI agree, it's harder to make friends after you're married. My best friend is moving to Portland next month. I'm trying not to be a total whiner about it, but I have been. I've always considered you a great friend and always look forward to chatting with you in class. Change is good for us, you'll make plenty of friends in Provo.
ReplyDeleteThere must be something about moving away and making new friends that has to do with this, because I've gone through some of the same emotions at different times. The girlfriends I have here I absolutely LOVE, though, and it just took time to develop that. And, still, somehow, it's different from the ones I grew up with, but just as good.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you are enjoying SD's beautiful weather!!
totally been here before. i think a lot of us have!
ReplyDeletexo dana
thewonderforest.com
All fabulous things in which to celebrate! And yes, I am jealous of your San Diego weather.
ReplyDeleteI have struggled making friends since I got engaged at BYU and since we got married. A lot of it is because we have had four different wards just since December because ward boundaries kept changing and we moved once.
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain and I would totally love to be your friend- I'm in Provo.
yay for celebrating Pinterest! I'm a little obsessed...only a little bit ;)
ReplyDeleteEveryone is talking about Pinterest these days... I think I should really check it out too! Especially if it is making your list of things to celebrate! Lol.
ReplyDeletexO Kristen
http://thereviewstudio.blogspot.com
Great post! I am such a social butterfly too, loud, talkative, the whole shebang!
ReplyDeleteP.S. Super jealous of that weather!
i can relate totally to how you feel. i'm home from college this summer, and many of my friends from high school who i still keep in touch with have either graduated from college and moved away to their new jobs, or the friends that are still in college have internships that have kept them at school. and this includes my bf! but being alone helps you concentrate on "me time" and also makes you appreciate what you do have, like you said, family :-)
ReplyDeleteAw! Spending time with friends is the best. I'm feelin' ya with moving to a new place and not knowing many people. When I moved to AZ almost 6 years ago it took me almost 2 years to find am excellent group of girls to "do life with" as we call it. Now that I have that group, I couldn't be happier. I pray that you find the same happiness!
ReplyDeleteI am very jealous of the weather there, it's raining here!
ReplyDeleteI adore your blog so I will definitly come back to read more of your posts. I wish you lots of luck with it.
All the best,
Voe.
________________________________________
http://lipstick-and-pearls.blogspot.com
Oh Hi! Just found your blog. You are precious.
ReplyDelete