Balance in Beauty

Because I think every blog post should have a picture, and I didn't know what else to post with this!


I came across this article yesterday and word for word it expressed the thoughts I have had over the years of seeing beauty and self-esteem campaigns. I urge you all to read it! Finding out that I am going to be having a daughter has brought all the insecurities I have had as a woman come to the forefront of my mind. It breaks my heart knowing that my daughter will have to face the societal and cultural pressures that have been placed on all of us. But we can't avoid the world, and with that said, I know that as her mother I will do everything in my power to make sure she is as confident in herself as she can be.

But confidence is a tricky thing isn't it? If you have too much your considered conceited, if you don't have enough you can truly limit yourself from your potential. Life is all about balance and I guess that stands true with this as well. How do you raise someone who is confident in themselves, without being vain? I truly believe that every person should genuinely love themselves. Not in the way that they think they are better than others, but that they respect themselves. When you love and respect yourself, you make positive life choices. Society puts such an emphasis on looks, and unfortunately it will dictate how the world treats you, which will in result affect the way you feel about yourself. I do think it is important that we build up our youth's self-esteem, but I can't help but think we are not approaching this the right way.

This all might sound silly and somewhat hypocritical coming from someone who takes a lot of pictures of herself, and blogs about her life and favorite fashion and beauty products. But here me out. I don't think there is anything wrong with loving make up, getting dressed up, or even thinking you look great. There is a time for sweats and a time for that little black dress, but honestly, I am just as confident walking out my front door without a stitch of make up on as I am with a full face. I think both are beautiful. I believe in the balance, and I want my daughter to love herself, body, mind and spirit. But more importantly, I want her to love those things about herself based on her own standards, not the worlds. What is beauty? Well that answer will always change, and will always mean something different person to person.

To me beauty is love, love for yourself, and love for others. When you have that kind of self love it spreads to those around you, and that is where true happiness lies. Look, do I think that it is wrong to tell your daughters, nieces, and friends that they are beautiful? Absolutely not. But I do think we don't realize just how much of an emphasis, positive or not, we put on a woman's appearance is holding us back. I don't want my daughter to ever feel like she can only be confident in herself if she considers herself physically attractive. 

Instead of trying to counteract the negativity that is in this world by constantly telling my daughter she is pretty or beautiful, I want to make sure that more often than not, I am taking the focus off her appearance and placing her value on her mind and her heart. Oh what a change we would see in this world if these were the things that mattered most when it came to our little girls. It starts with us.

19 comments

  1. This post is absolute perfection and is something that has been on my mind a lot lately. I am a nanny for four little girls and constantly praising them for being smart, kind, and funny. In a world that places a sometimes unhealthy level of fixation on a woman's outward appearance, it is so important that girls don't measure their worth on fleeting things! Thanks for spreading the word! Your future little one is so lucky to have an informed momma :)

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    1. Loved this Lita! You are such a good role model :)

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  2. These are absolutely beautiful words and you are so stunning in that picture. Lovely post.

    http://www.abigailalicex.com

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  3. Your little girl is so lucky to have you!!! Such sweet words!!! Xo

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  4. What a perfect post that was so lovely to read - thank you for sharing this, I agree with you 100%, it's all about love, love and more love <3

    I have a new post up on the blog, would love to know your thoughts:

    * Electric Sunrise - Fashion and Lifestyle Blog *

    x

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  5. It is so true that raising a girl in today's world is extremely hard! Girls are so mean these days & people hide behind technology with their slandering comments. I think you will do a wonderful job & loving your daughter is the most important thing! Kids learn so much by example so if she sees that you're a strong woman who loves herself, she will likely feel the same about herself!

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    1. Thanks Gabrielle! It seems like a daunting task for sure! Social media has really changed the game for this generation.

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  6. Loving this post and everything it stands for. As a nanny for 3 little girls I really have tired to focus on complimenting them on their minds, hearts and talents rather than just telling them they are pretty. Of course there is a time and a place to say "you look really pretty" (and every little girl deserves that) but I believe removing the emphasis from beauty as the primary source of value is SO important.

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    1. Exactly! It isn't wrong, just how much of a focus we put on it compared to other traits that are so important for us to have.

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  7. I will tell ya, raising girls is really hard. I was actually just talking with a co-worker about my youngest stepdaughter, she's 13 & is a tiny lil thing. Apparently, kids have claimed that she's anorexic cuz she's so skinny & that she's flat chested. I had to tell her that I was the same way & I still am (thank you padded bras - ha!) & that's just the way she's built. Girls tend to get it from every way - if they are too big, they are pigs but if they are too small, they have an eating disorder. I just tell my girls that they are who they are & they have to love themselves, be kind, be good, be respectful & responsible & everything will be as it should.

    Mandie ~ http://badbrewpack.blogspot.com/

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    1. Exactly, the definition of beauty is constantly changing and often contradicting! Good thing she has you as a role model Mandie :)

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  8. Such a gorgeous picture first of all! I will definitely give the article a read, it sounds so interesting!

    I wish you all the best for you and your little family!

    Much love xxx
    CHRISTINANISTA.COM

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  9. Beautifully said and insightful! Love you xxoo

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  10. You couldn't have said this more beautifully. As mothers we are our daughter's first role model. It's hard to always think about two people, about how things you say could affect her. For instance I used to use the "I'm so fat," comment like it was going out of style. All girls say it, it's just one of those things. Maybe we don't really think we are fat. Maybe a pair of pants were just tight that day. My point is, it is something I've completely erased from my vocabulary. If I'm insecure about things in my life that are only skin deep, then it makes her think she has to feel the same. You are going to be a wonderful mother. Not a doubt about it.

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    1. Oh Kiki I am right there with you! I am starting now to get those sayings that have been ingrained in us culturally over the years!

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  11. Oh yes I so agree with this, I am like you I like to be made up and just as comfortable without make up, I do prefer to look presentable when I am going somewhere like yesterday when I went to the hospital for an out patient appointment, now way I would go in the house clothes I had on at home, they were house clothes not going to the doctor clothes

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  12. This is so true and even though I have sons I think the same applies. I often tell Caleb that he's my handsome boy, but I also make sure that I always tell him he's kind, strong, brave, etc. It's so important to point out those things too so he doesn't grow up thinking he's just a pretty face!

    kirstyandseth.blogspot.co.uk

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