A Disclaimer - Get Off My Internets

There are so many people in this world who are not going to like you, and they won't stop there, some will try and bring you down. You just have to accept that. It is an unfortunate truth. I have seen so many bloggers get extremely upset over what they have seen people saying about them online. Of course I have had my feelings hurt too, I am only human. However, when you put yourself so publicly on display on social media and online, you are opening yourself up to that criticism. You get a lot of good, and you have to accept that you will also get some bad. You are not going to be everyone's cup of tea. This is something you quickly learn when gaining more of an audience online. Before I started blogging, I honestly knew of no one who didn't like me. This doesn't mean there weren't people who didn't, they just didn't feel the need to tell me, talk about it with me, etc. You see, in real life, most adults with common sense keep hurtful, negative opinions to themselves. They just don't associate with the people they don't like. So you might be going around not aware of who actually doesn't like you or not. There is something nice about this, I mean, "ignorance is bliss" is a famous phrase for a reason.

I hardly ever get negative, mean comments on my actual blog. Most of it comes from a site called Get Off My Internets, a forum for people to discuss bloggers. Unlike a lot of bloggers, I personally don't think this site is all bad. People just want a space to freely discuss what they think about a blogger and their content. But sometimes, the line is crossed. Crossing the line always happens on the internet, people feel invincible behind their computer screens. They are less accountable, and they become more willing to say things they would never say to your face. When that happens, you can see the true nasty side of people. But it is kind of a catch-22, because you also get to see what people really think, how they really feel about you. That can be incredibly insightful information. You can learn a lot about yourself when you see what people say anonymously or freely. If you approach criticism or "haters" as some might call them with this mentality, you can really learn a lot. Unfortunately for the most part people aren't offering up any great insight or riveting advice for the blogger to learn from. Most of it is petty, rude, and down right hilarious.

Of course I have seen my GOMI page. Any blogger who says they haven't is lying. It isn't like you start off searching for it. One day you notice steady traffic coming from a certain site on your analytics, so you wonder on over and discover an entire forum dedicated to talking about you. You get to read all the lovely, or not so lovely things people are saying about you. This is how I found my GOMI page.

Honestly, most of it is so incredibly silly. They base massive overarching opinions about you off of one picture, or if you misspell something. The conclusions people can come up with sometimes just make me go straight to laughter. Thing is, you can only show so much of yourself online, like a 2D picture, and you better be prepared for people to sometimes "misunderstand" you or not get the whole 3D image of who you are, because, well, that is impossible. Sometimes people you have actually met or know go on and talk about you. Personally, those are the saddest to me. You expect strangers to talk about you but people you have been in acquaintance with or know makes it seem so much more personal. You would expect those people to be upfront with you in real life, not hide their feelings behind a computer screen. But that goes back to the people feeling invincible with anonymity.

So how do you deal?  

I have been asked by other bloggers how I deal with the stuff people say online. Personally, I don't "deal" with anything, because I don't let it get that deep. You just have to understand where it is coming from. No I am not saying anyone who writes something negative is obviously so jealous of me, blah blah blah. What I am saying is, read what they have said and put it in one or two piles. 

1. Load of crap pile. 

2. I could learn something from this pile.

Stuff that is so obviously coming from a non constructive place just gets rolled off my back. You just can't feed into that kind of behavior. It never turns out good. You don't know where people are coming from when they write that kind of stuff. I pride myself on being able to see the good in people. I won't let my participation in the blogging community change that. I still believe that all people are fundamentally GOOD. If someone is rude, mean, or nasty, it is coming from something else going on in their lives.

If I see someone has totally misunderstood my intention, or read into something completely wrong, I take note for next time to make sure I explain more thoroughly. And when it applies, I really do try and learn from constructive criticism. I feel like everyone has to be open to seeing their flaws if they want to become a better person. By the age of twenty five I am pretty sure I know what a lot of mine are, and as I get older I am sure I will discover many more. It doesn't mean I love to see other people point them out, especially strangers, but I put myself out there on a public forum, and I feel like I can handle it. Some people can't handle it, and for them I suggest they live a more private life. And remember, it is what the people close to you in your real life think, that really matters.

Speaking of life, I would also suggest that people remember that the internet is not that. The internet is not your life, or at least, it shouldn't be. This blog is a small facet of my life. It is a fun outlet that I enjoy, but I truly thrive and enjoy spending my time with my family, friends, and loved ones. Don't worry so much about what people say or do on the internet, focus on your real world. Embrace your life, LIVE life offline.

So this is my OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER to this blog:

This blog is a space for me to have fun. I don't take it that seriously, and yes, I often post without proof reading. I don't claim to be a "writer." I blog because it is fun to post about fashion, my random thoughts, my current workout routine, whatever the heck I want. My blog content isn't hard hitting news people! So don't expect that kind of dedication to this space. I blog because I enjoy it, and if a few people along the way enjoy it with me, great! It makes it that much more fun. Don't like what you see? My advice would be to MOVE ON, like I am sure hundreds of people who land on my blog do. Not relish in why you don't like me.

At the end of the day it comes down to this; I would much rather be a person who is focusing on trying to be better, and someone that lifts up others. I want to be someone who celebrates those around me, and not someone who is focusing on another's imperfections or flaws.

All I can do is try to be a better me, bringing someone else down doesn't help me with that. So I try my best to avoid it. I am by no means perfect, and I don't expect you to be either. Let's just make sure we know what our intentions are.