I read this article today by Amy Glass titled, I Look Down On Young Women With Husbands And Kids And I’m Not Sorry.
I can't tell you the last time I read something that got me SO worked up and RAGE filled. Besides the fact that this woman is probably the most ignorant human being I have come across on the internet, she has a totally distorted idea of feminism. I wish I could meet her and shake some common sense into her.
Where do I even start with this article? I am not a mother. However, even I can see what amazing growth an individual personally goes through while experiencing parenthood. Yes, anyone can get married and have babies, something she calls "average." However, sustaining a loving and beneficial relationship with your spouse IS anything but average these days. Putting someone else's needs above your own does more for someone's personal progress and growth then a woman "backpacking on her own through Asia" or "getting a promotion, or landing a dream job," will any day.
It seems to me that Amy Glass doesn't understand that women find BOTH family and career rewarding accomplishments. Now are you ready for this?... "You will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to be exceptional if you have a husband and kids."
I think Amy and I have VERY different ideas of what is considered "exceptional." Becoming a better human being every day is what I consider being exceptional. I think it is the human connections and relationships we make in this life that will help us with that more than anything else. And what better way to spend your life than raising, and teaching our children to be kind, hardworking individuals? The same kids that can go forward and make our world a better place. It may sound cheesy, but its pretty evident to me that Amy Glass doesn't seem to understand that our children are the future. With her logic, all this "exceptional" business would cease to exist if we stopped making families a priority.
Being an amazing mother and parent is the very start to what creates and helps develop someone that becomes "exceptional." Healthy, fulfilling family relationships are the absolute core and foundation of a successful and functioning world. Now tell me what is more exceptional than that?
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AMEN! I was so angry after I read that article.
ReplyDeleteThis article is outrageous. It makes me sad that she feels this way about women and there are other women out there that feel the same way. I'm so glad I have the gospel in my life and know that what I'm doing is important not only to my son but also to my Heavenly Father.
ReplyDeleteThis is a discussion that will always be around. There are women that want to stay at home with their children; there are women that want to work and take their children to daycare; there are women that never want to think about settling down and having children. And the great thing is that this is all okay! The great thing is that we live in a world where we get to make that choice. I am a mother of one that works outside the home and I love it. The choice that I have made is the right choice for me, and I know that I would never change getting married or having my son for anything in the world. I live a happy life, and that, to me, is what makes an exceptional life.
ReplyDeleteWhile the discussion has always been around, I have never seen someone think so little of a woman because of her choice to have a family is different then what she wants. Normally the response is, "to each their own." It was absolutely mind boggling to me that she could be so black and white with it and judge someone for making a different choice than hers. I get that she was trying to controversial, but she just came off completely ignorant. I am happy to see you find value and happiness in the way you live your life, because at the end of the day, that is what it is all about!
DeleteI was so angry after reading that article! love what you said. she is completely ignorant! how frustrating!
ReplyDeletewhat an assanine article. i love your response girl i dont even have kids either and i am like PSHHHHTTT did she REALLY just say that?! SMH
ReplyDeleteThat article was crazy, she knows nothing about what is important in life.She sounds jealous of women who have those things and must have been hurt in her past.
ReplyDeleteThat article is seriously a joke. I loved reading all of the comments about it, specifically the ones stating just how anti-feminist Amy Glass truly is.
ReplyDeleteI just wish we as humans could learn to celebrate ALL successes, especially with regards to women. Let's celebrate the mother who works endlessly for her kids and husband at home, and let's celebrate the women who succeed in business. Can't we all just be happy for each other and let everyone live the life THEY choose? And be happy for them?
ReplyDeleteAMEN. EXACTLY!
DeleteI totally agree with you! That article just... What?! Ugh. I'm curious as to how she says she is "feminist" while bashing the choices some women make.
ReplyDeleteWOW! Right there with ya. I hope her mom didn't read that!
ReplyDeleteThe sad part about this article is the fact that she has removed the element of love, which is entirely important to be married and to raise children. I think her parents should have held her more as a child, more particularly her mother. It is just sad to see women tear other women apart over something so "average" in her words.
ReplyDeleteApparently she wrote another article about how women who want to be successful shouldn't fall in love... You just end up feeling sad for this girl.
DeleteI'm not even going to READ that article because I am already so incensed!! It's certainly a good thing that so many women and men choose to marry and have children so we can continue to have a species. I mean just oh my word. So many thoughts.
ReplyDeleteExactly! While I was reading it I couldn't help but think, "How does she think SHE got here?! How would this "exceptional" race of people continue forward without people having families?"! DUH. HA.
DeleteYes, yes, and yes.
ReplyDeleteI was incredibly offended by that article. I am all for people having their own opinions, but I felt that this was over the top, and designed solely to offend every single person who read it. And I wonder if that's what Amy Glass intended... to make people mad enough to defend the choices that they make.
ReplyDeleteI think her point was to say something so radical to get a lot of attention. I surely hope she doesn't feel this way, however, she has written a lot of articles about how women shouldn't ever fall in love if they want to be successful, etc. So who knows. While everyone is entitled to their own opinion, when you start "looking down" on others for their choices you cross the line to being judgmental and ignorant.
DeleteI completely agree with you. When I read the article, I was beyond irritated. Feminism isn't about which choice is right .... it's about having choices. And we should celebrate them all. That's the only point she made that made sense. We really don't celebrate advanced degrees and promotions the way we celebrate marriage and children. I have seen this first hand. I published my third book a little over a year ago, and when I announced that on facebook, I got way fewer "likes"/comments than a friend who merely changed her status to "in a relationship." I don't know how we find a balance and fairness ... but we need to.
ReplyDeleteI hated that article! -Hanna Lei
ReplyDeleteI haven't read the article and I'm already fuming.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like Amy Glass just might be sad and lonely. One day {hopefully} she wake up and realize there is more to life than the *things* that are self-serving.
I read that article and was just as enraged and angry, but realized her logic makes no sense. Since when did marriage become a death sentence? She seems to think there is all give and no take. As you said, marriage and raising a family successfully is hard work, but there are so many rewards and benefits. I too am not a mother, but my mother is (go figure), and so is my sister and I appreciate all they have done and sacrificed to provide and love. My BIL also does his share, and last I checked men didn't just sit around (duh) while women slave around and give birth. This woman is redic and needs to get out more.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read her article I just thought she was very ignorant. I do think women should celebrate their professional success more often, but I have no idea what on earth that has to do with degrading motherhood and marriage. I felt embarrassed for her mom when I read it!
ReplyDeleteI feel like her article was poorly written for what she was trying to get across - not saying I agree with her in any way but I think the point of her article was more about how society celebrates marriage and having children and doesn't celebrate degrees or careers the same way. So in her world, I guess that means that she doesn't like the women who have those celebrations. It bothers me that this article is even getting so much hype though - her point isn't clear, there isn't any "meat" to support any of her rant and it obviously comes from someone who thinks that everyone's goals or ambitions should be the same as hers. Basically she's a bigot.
ReplyDeleteExactly. It was so hard to follow her logic while reading it. She makes things so black and white that it is hard to even respect her opinion, because she takes the choice and respect from other people. "Looking down" on someone because of how they choose to live their life... it automatically makes whatever you argument void in my opinion because it is coming from a place of judgment and it totally ignorant.
DeleteYes, yes! A thousand times yes!
ReplyDeleteI could barely get angry about it because like who in the world is going to take that chick seriously? At the same time, that is what people think of when they think of feminism and it scares little SAHMs like me away. I don't want to be grouped in with her, so I don't often claim to be a feminist. But I am! Just please don't lump me in with that crazy.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm thinking I should probably just avoid that article altogether for fear of igniting even more anger than I'm already feeling. I can't believe how narrow-minded and downright hurtful people can be! I am a young wife and stay at home mom. I'm exactly what she is preaching against. I don't feel stifled. I feel like my potential for growth is endless. I had opportunities to do other things with my life and take different paths, but I chose this one because it was right for me. It's what I want, and not a day goes by that I don't fall to my knees in gratitude for everything that I have. I've grown more as a person in the past year with my 1 year old than I did in 5 years of college. ...but that's my experience. Other people have their own experiences, and make their own choices. Why do some insist on tearing down those who don't choose the same path as them? Thanks for this, Alycia. I love and agree with everything you wrote.
ReplyDeleteOhhhhh Alycia! First off: aaargh! :D Secondly: Awesome response! I really have to say that I feel sorry for women who feel like by not getting married or having kids they should have a "shower" or feel somehow accomplished, anyone can do that too right, I mean NOT get married or have kids? Should that be an accomplishment in and of itself as well then?
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I read this blog post a few weeks ago, titled 23 Things to Do Instead of Getting Engaged Before You're 23. Go have a look, I got so worked up about it that I couldn't even leave a comment :D Things she said: "It is a way for young people to hide behind a significant other instead of dealing with life’s highs and lows on their own. It’s a safety blanket. It’s an admission that the world is just too big and scary to deal with it on your own; thus, you now have someone that is legally obligated to support you till one of you dies or files for divorce." Things she suggested doing instead? "Make out with a stranger. / Cut your hair. / Date two people at once and see how long it takes to blow up in your face. / Be selfish. / etc. http://wanderonwards.com/2013/12/30/23-things-to-do-instead-of-getting-engaged-before-youre-23/
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I think it's really interesting and really sad that a lot of women believe the lie that in ALL CASES getting married or worse "settling down" would be the ultimate mistake, would make you a loser, would make you weak, would end your life.
Stuff like this motivates me even more to continue promoting marriage in my own life, to keep showing others why marriage DOES work, why it's so worth it and why family is so important.
Love!
WOW that was disturbing! What is people's hang up with getting married? haha I got married incredibly young, but I don't feel like I missed out on anything that your are "supposed" to experience "before your married." Whatever that even means. Getting married was the best decision I have ever made, and I can't even tell you how much I have grown as a person since sharing my life so closely with another person. It truly is amazing, and I agree, feel like I should promote that more since we are obviously in a world where it is becoming less and less important.
Deletei've read this article a few times actually. i've never been one that thought motherhood was the only way. however, i could not disagree more with this woman. i think its great to want a career and i think its equally as great to want a family. i think there's nothing wrong with wanting one or wanting both or wanting something completely different. i definitely disagree on her thoughts about feminism and what it should represent or support. thanks for writing this post and i definitely agree with you.
ReplyDeleteGirl. Yes.
ReplyDeleteIt's women like this who judge and set out to make other women feel bad for being stay at home moms....or heck it sounds like she feels women who get married or have children at all are terrible. It angers me and at the same time I feel so sorry for her. She will never understand that amazing amount of love that it takes to raise children and have a marriage that last and works. If she thinks that being a "lone wolf" women who backpacks and cuts her way through the corporate jungle and climbs to the top by cutting other women off at the knee is what makes her a "real women" ...I would like to ask her what happens when she gets to the other side? When she finds herself alone with a list of empty accomplishments. When she is an old women and sits alone. I don't need to prove that I can be a man to be a women. I have what makes me happy in my life. I have my husband of 17 years....four children who I am raising to be loving people....and that makes me an amazing women. Loving ourselves is easy...loving others and letting others love us shows how strong we are.
ReplyDeleteLaura @ Mice In The Kitchen
Amen. Period.
ReplyDeleteShauna
Oooh... I'm about to go read it now. I'm a feminist so I always find it interesting to read what others have to say about feminism.
ReplyDeleteSure, everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but that shouldn't mean you can tear others down for their choices. I'm about to be a married 22 year old and I'm so excited to one day be a mother. But just because I choose that lifestyle, it doesn't mean I look down on others for not being a mother. I would hope others would have the same respect for my decision to be young and married and a mother.
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, yes! I was furious after reading that article. Who does this think she is anyways?
ReplyDeleteWhat a great article, thanks for the heads up!
ReplyDeletexx Kelly
Sparkles and Shoes
Word!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't disagree more with Amy Glass. I'm the wife of an amazing man, the mother of a beautiful 14-month-old girl, and the leader of an incredible team at work. I got a big promotion almost immediately after I came back from maternity leave, and I feel that instead of holding me back, my years of marriage and my experience of motherhood has actually made me a better boss. I am much more patient, more collaborative, and far more willing to compromise than I ever was as a singleton in the workplace. Take that, Amy!
You took the words from my brain girl! I actually wondered if the article was satire because I still can't imagine someone being that narrow-minded about life's most beautiful milestones.
ReplyDelete-BZ
www.zealouslyzika.com
Beautifully written Alycia!
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you! I hadn't seen that article before you posted it here and I have to say it was definitely offensive (maybe that was her objective?). I'm not really sure what Amy Glass' real motive was to writing that article, but she came across as bitter, thoughtless and sad. I feel sorry for her that she thinks so negatively about marriage and motherhood. As a mother, there has been nothing in my life that has been as rewarding as being a wife and mother. I think hiking through Asia would be a fun thing to do, but in no way would he compare to the joy and fulfillment of having a family. XO.
ReplyDelete