sand paper kisses... a loss is a loss...

There is nothing worse than your first day back to reality after vacation. Canada was so much fun, but I came home sleep deprived, with a lost voice and the start of a cold. This morning I had barley sat down in my office for my first day back at work when I received a call from my mother.

She told me that our childhood cat had passed away.


When I was younger I never understood why people cried over their pets. It was just an animal right? But a few years ago we had to put my childhood dog down and I was shocked at how much it affected me. I was a mess. She was apart of our family. I miss everything about her whenever I see another dog.

Sheba has been with us since 1995. That is almost 19 years! Alex picked her out of a box of kittens outside of a Target one day and brought her home. The whole family was thrilled. A kitten! A new member of the family! Yes, she was very old, however, she has always been super healthy and active and didn't really start to decline until the last few years. So am I totally surprised? No. Am I totally devastated? Absolutely.

We lost a huge part of our family today.

I have never considered myself a cat person, and I always jokingly said that Sheba and I had a love hate relationship. But she was almost like another sibling. She has been around since I was 5 years old. She would annoy me, and she would love on me. She has just always been there. I remember when she had kittens and how exciting that was to watch. I remember how mad she was when we first got our dog Bridget. I remember waking up and every once in awhile she would be sleeping right on my face! Or how she would hide under the couch and attack your feet as you walked by. And how she loved to jump. She would jump from the floor, to the top of the piano, to the stair landing. From the counter to the kitchen table. This cat just loved jumping. How she would try and drink the milk from your cereal bowl. And probably my favorite thing about her was how she just wanted to cuddle with you, and would purr loudly when you would let her sit on you and pet her. Oh and you can't forget the adorable freckle spots on her white stomach.

Sheba represents, in a way, my childhood. In fact the timing is interesting. My little brother is the last to get married in our family. My parents will truly be empty nesters. It is like she waited until we were all gone before she went. She was with all of us until we entered adulthood.

It seems funny to get all sentimental about a cat, but when they have been apart of your memories for most of your life, it is hard to imagine she wont be there when I go home. For her sake I am happy she has passed, she didn't seem comfortable in her old age.

However, I will miss those sand paper like kisses I would get on my ankles. I sure did love you Sheba. Sure, she was "just a cat" but she was ours. Gah, and the tears start again...


31 comments

  1. this made me tear up. We have a childhood kitty as well, and moving away to college, I definitely miss our cat! I'll be so sad when he leaves. I really want a cat, but my husband is allergic... so that won't happen in the future ):

    I hope you feel comforted girl!! xo

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  2. This is really sad, but a great post. I'm sorry for you. Hanna Marie

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  3. So sorry for your loss. I lost my cat last year after having her 15 years. She was my family. I could talk to her when there was no one else.

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  4. I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost our two oldest cats one year apart and it was devastating. Our youngest cat still goes looking for the one cat that just passed back in February.

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  5. Ugh. Now that really sucks. I'm sorry. And I know just how you feel- that's totally they way I feel about my parents' cats too!

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  6. Oh honeybear I'm sorry. It is devastating. It's hard losing a pet, they are family members. Oh hon my thoughts are with you.

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  7. I am so sorry for your loss.

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  8. i was such a mess when my childhood cat died. i know how your feeling. sorry about the loss

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  9. Oh, I am so sorry for your loss! I have grown up with both cats and dogs in our family, and while none of them lived to be 19 years old, it is never easy when they pass away. You are totally right when you say they are part of the family!

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  10. She wasn't just a cat, she was a family member. She was looking so small a few weeks ago when I saw her. I thought at first your parents got a new kitten, then I realized it was Sheba. Peter enjoyed feeding her some chicken bites. She had a good long life and will be missed.

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  11. I am so sorry. She wasn't just a cat, she represented twenty years of you and your family. Hugs, my friend.

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  12. That's how I felt when our family dog, a St. Bernard named Benuda, who passed away 2 summers ago. We've had him since I was 8, and I seriously bawled when I found out that he was put down because of all the illnesses he had. My brother found him bleeding in the backyard and he carried him to the car and took him to the vet. My fam called me {I was in Oregon at the time} and told me about it and I felt like I lost a family member.
    I'm so sorry for your loss, I totally know how that feels :(

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  13. I'm so sorry...animals are like family and when they pass away I'm sure it isn't any easier...I hope your healing process goes well. Sending you love.

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  14. Aaaaaawwwwww..... I'm so sorry!!!
    This made me think of the cat I used to have... we had same very kind of love hate relationship =))The scars from his scratches are now healed but I miss him oh so much!!!

    Hang in there!!!

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  15. Hey I'm so sorry to hear about your cat : ( We lost our family dog a little over a month ago and I am still heartbroken. They are such a huge part of our lives!

    I hope you start to feel a little better soon.

    Gemma xxx

    http://musings-of-a-gem.blogspot.co.uk/

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  16. So sorry for your loss. I lost my dog over a year ago and I still get sad and miss him sometimes.

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  17. I'm so sorry for your loss Alycia. I've lost my two family pets myself and it's such a hard thing to go through. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.

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  18. I am so sorry. It is never easy. Thinking about you!

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  19. So sorry for your loss! Losing a pet is so hard!

    Shannon
    http://gbofashion.com

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  20. I am so sorry to hear about this and what an awful way to end a vacation!

    xx
    Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

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  21. As someone who has two cats -- and is probably a bit too attached to them -- i'm sending healing thoughts your way.

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  22. I'm sorry about your cat, Alycia. It is hard to lose a pet - I've gone through it more times than I care too. So sad.

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  23. So sorry for your loss :( Pets really are part of the family

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  24. It does suck :( I'm sorry!! Love you!

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  25. I feel like I've had vacation brain all week.

    I am so sorry to hear about your kitty. I went through this a couple years ago with my childhood cat and it was incredibly hard... much more so than I anticipated, so I totally understand.

    Sarah @ Life As Always

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  26. aww! i didn't know that whilst you were at work and i saw you when you got back, you were in mourning! one time when i was on vacation, my mom called me to say that they were gonna put my doggy down, and they wanted me to decide whether to do it while i was still gone or wait for me to get home so i could say goodbye. :( ugh, it was awful. anyways, i'm sorry, girl!

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  27. It took me awhile before I could read this and now I'm in tears. It's been very strange to be home and not have her greet me at the door or jump up to sit on me while I'm on the couch. It's been very quiet and lonely :(

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  28. I am so sorry for your loss, Alycia. Your beautiful words illustrate just how special a relationship you and your family had with her. I like the idea that she waited for all of you to "grow up" before passing away, it truly is a wonderful thought.

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