hmm.

So remember last semester when I thought I was "drowning?" Well it is pretty sad that I wish I was back to last semester instead of this one. This semester is the hardest semester I have ever had. It is kicking my trash. I have been super super busy and really stressing out. It is my last semester before graduation so I know I just need to focus and it will be over soon enough.... yet it seems like forever right now! Do they purposely make your last year of school so hard, so you think about quitting?! haha
I wouldn't call myself a perfectionist, but I would say that I set myself to a high standard and expect myself to achieve certain things. When school overrules my life I get to this point where I feel like everything else in my life is falling by the way side. I think I am too hard on myself. Last night I found myself having a little break down. I have been so busy that I almost forgot about one of my really good friend's bridal showers. I would have been devastated had I missed it. When I got home I just broke down to Trevor. I work part time in the administration department at the University of Utah library. The guy who had the main position doesn't work there anymore, and they don't have the spot filled yet, so I have to come into work as much as I can full time around my classes. I am taking 5 classes which really feels like 7 because of the amount of work I have to do for two of them. For example, I have to do over 30 hours working in a classroom and put on two community events for the students and their families, as well as attend and volunteer for several more community events. That is just part of the requirements for one of the classes. I could go one forever. They really put you through the ringer in these last courses. So lately I find myself very very tired. Because of this I am constantly trying to stay on top of cleaning my apartment, going to the gym and exercising, eating healthy, this blog, trying to become closer to Christ, have friends.... and... well all of those seem to be failing miserably. And it upsets me. I wish I could be "perfect" sometimes and be able to do everything that is going on in my life with ease. I see other people do it (I know the grass always looks greener on the other side) and I just wonder why I can't seem to get it all together. I know I should be patient with myself, but I am just tired of waiting for things to come together where I am not constantly tired and stressed out... finally.

27 comments

  1. Aw hun.. big hugs for you!

    It does get hard, and it will be hard until you graduate. What always helped me was thinking of the end result.. you're so close, and you will be so much better for it! I do hope that things ease up a bit for you, though.. hate to hear how rough things are right now. Loves <33

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  2. that is one of the worst feelings ever. all i can say is its not easy, but its definitely worth it. and those people that seem like they have it all under control? they don't. they're liars ;) a person can only take so much until after awhile you just feel like you're going to collapse. but at least you'll be graduated when you do!
    also, you have a lovely hubby. in my opinion, those are always the best for times like these.

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  3. Hang in there sweetie! You can do this and you are almost done. We have faith in you. The good news is you didn't miss the bridal shower :) It's at times like this when I have to sit back and take a deep breath and realize that there will be some things that will have to slide and can slide - not your school work mind you :) I love you and am so proud of you.

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  4. The last semester does seem like it is the hardest! I know I was REALLY glad to be done with mine. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. But, there is an end in sight! And at least you have a supportive husband who will let you break down and comfort you. =)

    Also, in regards to your comment on my post, you should totally get a pet! But maybe wait until after graduation... we both always had pets growing up so it was only natural to have one. But I feel like Stank is semi-preparing us for children!

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  5. I think it's the winter doldrums too- you need a Spring Break!
    meri
    merigoesround.blogspot.com

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  6. I know how you feel! I guess I don't have it even remotely as hard in school but sometimes it just feels too much. I think it is extra hard during the winter when everything is dark and cold. Just hold on! No one expects you to be a superwoman.
    x

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  7. You are almost there girl! Keep up the hard work..it will pass and you will be glad you did! Don't forget to have some fun while you are doing it though :) goodluck!

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  8. im sorry girl, cheer up!! ps your blog is super cute :)

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  9. oh don't worry about it too much! the semester will eventually be over and then you can put more focus where you want it. My last semester was the same way. I guess it's just supposed to be that way. And BYU is hard anyway.

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  10. I feel the exact same way! I've been crying to Lance for a week about how much I feel like an epic wife fail. I'm glad to know it's not just me. I'm sure we'll get through it somehow, though!

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  11. you are definitely not the only one trying to be perfect and balance everything!!! i am trying to finish up my master's program, and having the end in sight just makes me more stressed about all i have to get done...just try to re-balance everything. e.g. it's important to keep working out and eating healthy, but maybe cut back to fewer days of working out and make huge batches of soup or healthy dishes you can freeze and eat all week. re-balance priorities too (you will have time to clean your apartment and blog eventually!!! school is more important right now). And keep reminding yourself that everything WILL get done!

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  12. You will push through this hard time and come out better in the end. =) Keep your head up and just keeping swimming!

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  13. Oh, honey, I know the feeling. It'll get better soon, I promise!

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  14. I know how you are feeling! I'm starting to feel the stress of this semester as well with 5 classes and my job. It does get easier eventually and will be so worth it when you're done! Hang in there :)

    http://andohsofancy.blogspot.com

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  15. I am so sorry hon, you sounds like you have a full plate. I hear it helps to punch something maybe you should punch your pillow? LOL. I hope it gets better.

    Write it in lipstick

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  16. I can so relate to this. It is exactly how I have been feeling lately - stretched thin, trying to be great at everything, but falling short everywhere. Just try to keep your head up and push through. That's the best advice I can come up with and it's my daily mantra.

    argh

    xo,
    Carrie

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  17. Well, I give you BIG kuddos for sticking with college, because I actually stepped away from going to college at the end of my third year (I was already married too) because I just couldn't handle the stress anymore. For me I decided that school was not my top priority and I felt so good after I let it go. You have a lot on your plate!! School is exhausting and trying to have any life outside of it is even harder. I know it is much easier said than done but, letting the things go that can wait is okay. Hard to let the house go, etc. but, in some seasons we just have to and it is okay. Hope this semester passes quickly for you! Hang in there!

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  18. Oh my gosh.. I totally know those days. The thing is, you just have to take one thing at a time. Honestly if all you do one day is go to school and work but your house looks like a tornado just hit it, you have to KNOW you are still productive and amazing. Just take things one at a time.. that's what I try to do! I hope you feel better soon!

    --Shelby

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  19. YiKEs! I am so sorry!

    Good things to come, because hard work always pays off!! I remember being in school and thinking...umm when will this feeling of stress end?? Are you at BYU or UVU? What is your major? Just remember even C's get degrees :) haha.

    xoxo
    www.stephanieandsuch.blogspot.com

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  20. Don't worry. There's not a single person in the world who really has it all together. I promise it may look like that on the outside but I guarantee each of us has something we wish we could do or be better at.

    And congrats on the upcoming graduation! Just put one foot in front of the other day to day and you'll be there before you know it! ;)

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  21. I'm with you, doll -- this semester is KILLING me for some reason. I had a bit of a breakdown today as well. But try not to stress TOO much... The great thing about college is that NO ONE knows what's going on. Have a happy weekend!
    xo Josie
    http://winksmilestyle.blogspot.com

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  22. I know exactly how you feel.

    Yes it does get hard, but it also gets awesome when you make it to the other side.

    It will be worth it, and you will be proud of yourself :) Hang in there (I will tell myself the same thing for post-grad). x

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  23. The last semester of university is always tough, but you'll get through it and then you'll feel so, so relieved that it's done. Don't forget to ake care of yourself!

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  24. FSP is the WORST class ever. I feel for you. Luckily I took it with Kim...it's always nice to have her around to remind me about deadlines and complain about how stupid the ECS classes are.

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  25. Hi Alycia! Just popped over to check out your blog & I am loving it :)

    I know saying "Don't stress yourself" is easier said than done but before you know it, it will be over and you can get back to having time to fit (almost) everything in!

    Hope the feeling subsides soon, lovely.

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