So remember last semester when I thought I was
"drowning?" Well it is pretty sad that I wish I was back to last semester instead of this one. This semester is the hardest semester I have ever had. It is kicking my trash. I have been super super busy and really stressing out. It is my last semester before graduation so I know I just need to focus and it will be over soon enough.... yet it seems like forever right now! Do they purposely make your last year of school so hard, so you think about quitting?! haha
I wouldn't call myself a perfectionist, but I would say that I set myself to a high standard and expect myself to achieve certain things. When school overrules my life I get to this point where I feel like everything else in my life is falling by the way side. I think I am too hard on myself. Last night I found myself having a little break down. I have been so busy that I almost forgot about one of my really good friend's bridal showers. I would have been devastated had I missed it. When I got home I just broke down to Trevor. I work part time in the administration department at the University of Utah library. The guy who had the main position doesn't work there anymore, and they don't have the spot filled yet, so I have to come into work as much as I can full time around my classes. I am taking 5 classes which really feels like 7 because of the amount of work I have to do for two of them. For example, I have to do over 30 hours working in a classroom and put on two community events for the students and their families, as well as attend and volunteer for several more community events. That is just part of the requirements for one of the classes. I could go one forever. They really put you through the ringer in these last courses. So lately I find myself very very tired. Because of this I am constantly trying to stay on top of cleaning my apartment, going to the gym and exercising, eating healthy, this blog, trying to become closer to Christ, have friends.... and... well all of those seem to be failing miserably. And it upsets me. I wish I could be "perfect" sometimes and be able to do everything that is going on in my life with ease. I see other people do it (I know the grass always looks greener on the other side) and I just wonder why I can't seem to get it all together. I know I should be patient with myself, but I am just tired of waiting for things to come together where I am not constantly tired and stressed out... finally.
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